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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,116
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

@PuppyLoverBob666 You sound like your are going through a lot right now.  A person who loves you will see that and understand. It is hard to feel you can't be there for the person you love, I understand that feeling. One day you may be able to return the love and help to him. That is just what people who love each other do. I said a prayer for you and your husband. God bless you both.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,845
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

He's your husband, he understands that you have health challenges.  You definitely should let your doctor know about the weight loss but it's likely because you are eating less now.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 942
Registered: ‎07-02-2014

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down


@hckynutjohn wrote:

I am sure happy my wife and I didn't keep a ledger of who did what for whom. Over 10+ years of the 2 of us rotating stays in the hospital, not for days, but weeks. 

 

Then the recovery time when she needed my help, and the many times I needed hers. All serious illnesses and long recoveries. We were fortunate that there was not 1 time where the both of us were hospitalized.

 

One time I got released from the hospital, after an over a month stay, on June 22. She had a surgery scheduled for June 28, and my getting released kept her surgery on time. It was a necessary surgery, but not a life or health threatening one.

 

Make it up to her or her to me! Neither of us ever thought in those terms. We were/are still both even, for those that like to keep a score.. We took vows and understood every word of them. Had we not?  ❤❤

 

hckynut  🇺🇸


          I so agree with you John. There is no keeping score during a long,loving marriage. We have been married over 40 years and we each have had health issues over the years. We are devoted to each other and we do whatever the other one needs us too for however long it needs to be done. Em

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,783
Registered: ‎07-21-2014

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

Feel better SOON! I am sure he understands!

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. —Helen Keller
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,568
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

We take turns.  One time he needs it, one time I do.  Sharing/caring....

 

Do see that doctor!!!!   I'm sure your husband understands.  What you don't eat, he can have leftovers.  No sweat.

Dogs are my jam.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,010
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down


@PuppyLoverBob666 wrote:

He's making a nice dinner on the grill tonight; I just don't have much appatite lately and I don't feel like eating. I've got some health stuff going on so that's probably the reason (I was recently diagnosed with an infection and I think the medication is disagreeing with me, too)...he understands and is so good about all this stuff and I feel so bad. I wish I could make it up to him but I don't know how. How do you make it up to someone that you have hepatitis, that it's flaring up and you feel like a limp dishrag?

Lately I've lost 10 lbs. wthout trying and I think I ought to notify my doctor about that too.


Not only should you speak to your doctor about the weight loss, you should also mention to him that maybe you're experiencing a bit of depression as that can present itself along with a hepatitis diagnosis.  Totally understandable!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,664
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

I am sorry you've been sick and hope you feel better soon.

 

Why would you be letting your H down? He knew you were sick when he bought dinner and knew that you haven't been eating a lot. He is a grown-up and should be able to eat by himself, especially if you're sick.  

 

Call your dr.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 512
Registered: ‎07-12-2020

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

I have many health issues and my husband does, too. Here's what I do to try to keep it pleasant. I say nice things, I compliment him, I thank him. Not fake, just nice. I don't mention my pain except maybe to say I am having huge pain today if he asks or it comes up. I smile and fake it some days. I decide many days to simply choose happiness today. It's a process and our spouses love us and if they are good people, they try to help us when we need help. But living with a "downer" person can make them depressed also. So just be kind, pleasant, loving, complement him or his cooking, and you'll be giving back to him. Then go lay down and rest! I am sure you are a nice, good, loving person so this is meant to reassure you not criticize you. 

Detachment isn't the absence of love but the ability to take care of yourself in the midst of someone else's choices.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,024
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

Ask!

Christmas would not be Christmas but for the interchange of our good wishes.
Charles Dickens




Super Contributor
Posts: 270
Registered: ‎11-16-2018

Re: I feel like I'm letting my DH down

You can't help being ill and Im sure your husbanf understands.