Among Friends

[occasionalrain]

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@qbetzforreal wrote:

@Vivian- your daughters feel helpless as to what is happening to their father, your husband and have taken it out on you.  Sorry that happened to you.

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There is no excuse for that daughter's behavior. I can't imagine my child speaking to me like that. The OP needs to stand up for herself and tell her daughter to stay out of it or, if she would prefer, her father move in with her and she can take over.

You need more than a hug, I'd recommend something alcoholic.

[esmerelda]

@Vivian  on the subject of the sewer… Been there, done that. Was told by one of the septic company people about a product that I now use twice a year to keep the roots from getting into the pipes.  I get it at Walmart but you may want to go to Amazon and look it up to learn more about it. Lots of information there, lots of questions with answers. The product is Roebic Foaming Root Killer. 

Good luck with that and everything else you’re dealing with.

[Bonkers1]

Tough times for sure but remember - we never get more than we can handle.  You might view life thru a haze right not but also remember what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  Somewhere there is a rainbow.

[Hoovermom]

When my dad was told by his doctor that he could no longer drive (diagnosis dementia),  mom naturally took away his keys.  But she also installed portable door alarms so she would know when he was trying to sneak, wandering the neighborhood or wherever he was trying to escae. They helped!!  Big hugs to you today!!

[grandma r]

Sending hugs your way.

Getting that diagnosis is difficult enough;  being yelled out for something you can't control is another matter.  I'm pretty sure your daughters are having trouble accepting the  diagnosis.  However, you are living thru it 24/7!!!  Let them know that you need their love, support, and understanding now  more than ever.

I hope you get the support you need!

[IamMrsG]

@Vivian

[Allegheny]

@Vivian  Sending you a year of hugs, even more if needed.  I think I can speak for many here, "we have your back".  I admire how you have been dealing with everything.

I am sorry your daughter yelled at you, she was wrong.  She does not realize that even if the DMV revokes your husband's license it does prevent him from driving.  And secondly if she calls your insurance company they could end up dropping your auto insurance.  What good would that do?  Then even you can't drive the car.  She is being irrational and needs to calm down.  I am thinking you may need to start ignoring her outbursts.  You are very strong.

[Lilysmom]

@Vivian, I lost my sister at 59 years old to early onset Alzheimer’s.  You have a full plate.  Your daughter is way out of line.  Maybe you should show her this post.

Sending prayers your way as you travel this road.  Please try to get some support through the local Alzheimer’s support groups, your family and friends.  You can’t do this alone.  LM

[YorkieonmyPillow]

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@Vivian wrote:

My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He’s entering the middle stage of the disease. His neurologist recommended that he stop driving. My daughter installed a couple of cameras to be sure he doesn’t take the car out of the garage. It’s an app that she and I, plus my other daughter, have. 

We had a plumbing emergency this weekend. Our sewage system backed up. The mess was horrific. Our plumber got an excavation company to come out today to replace the 40 year old line, which was filled with tree roots and what is called a belly, a blockage. The system had been giving us trouble for six months but today was the last straw.

With this as background, when the excavators came this morning, my husband had to move our car down the driveway. I was upstairs getting dressed. Suddenly I got a phone call from my daughter, yelling at me for letting Dad drive at all. She said she was calling our I insurance company and the DMV to have his license revoked. The doctor wants my husband to take a driving test, which he has agreed to do. I told my daughter to call the doctor first. She said it’s too late.

We had a day from he££ today. My yard looks like an earthquake hit it. My husband is no longer doing the driving but today’s “infraction” has led to a tirade against me. This was the second time my husband drove down the driveway in six months. The first time was when I was sick and he drove the garbage down. I know my daughter is upset about her Dad’s condition but yelling at her mother won’t solve anything. I need a hug.

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[Lindsays Grandma]

Vivian Florimond, I haven't read all of the posts and I don't know if anyone else has made the suggestion I am going to post...please accept my apologies in advance if this is a repeat.

Under the circumstances, I think you and your daughters have to come to an understanding that you, and you alone are to make decisions regarding your husband.   Your daughter should not have done what she did, it was your decision to make, not hers.  You definitely need to tell your daughter she is never to do anything regarding her father unless she hears it from you.  I am so sorry that her actions have caused more stress and discomfort for you.    Please take care of yourself, this is a difficult time for you but you must set guidelines so that you don't have issues like this again.  We here on the Boards care about you and wish you well and pray for you and your husband.