How do I Politely Decline a Wedding Invitation?

BarbiHollywood · ‎11-09-2011

I received a wedding Save The Date card several months ago for the granddaughter of some wonderful friends of ours who, sadly, have passed away. The wedding is about two hours away and would require an overnight in a hotel. We planned to go, but now just don't feel like giving up an entire weekend to attend. I'd like to RSVP to the bride by saying something nice and letting her know that we appreciate the invitation and will send a nice gift, but we just don't feel like attending.

I'm struggling to find the right words. Any suggestions?

Thanks.

charsha · ‎03-28-2010

@BarbiHollywood I have copied a good friend of mine's saying, that we "have a conflict on that date" and that we are unable to attend the wedding/birthday/annversary/shower. I have used this phrase on occasion, as it does not make us obligated to say what the conflict is, as it's no one's business. You do not have to attend any function if the desire is not there. Good luck on what you decide.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@BarbiHollywood Love the saying from @charsha. I'm not sure why people who are so distant tend to send so many invitations. I'd hate to say just for gifts, but maybe to keep feelings from being hurt that they weren't included.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

Thank you for including us in your wonderful celebration.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend but please expect our gift as our well wishes to you and your future spouse. I know (insert name of her grandparents) will be there to celebrate with you in spirit as well.

Wishing you two a wonderful life together.

Congratulations!

deeva · ‎03-09-2010

Just say you're not going to attend. No explanation needed.

JYWilliams · ‎03-10-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
Thank you for including us in your wonderful celebration.

Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend but please expect our gift as our well wishes to you and your future spouse. I know (insert name of her grandparents) will be there to celebrate with you in spirit as well.

Wishing you two a wonderful life together.

Congratulations!

@Laura14 I like what you wrote. It was polite and you didn't make up a long story as to why the invitation was declined.

We rescue cats · ‎01-25-2023

I would send a decline note using Laura14's example almost word for word. Most likely the invitation was at the request of her grandparents, so I doubt that the response will be not be unexpected. I'm sorry for the loss of your friends.

Lynn-Critter Lover!
(especially cats!)

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

I don't know why we feel the need to justify ourselves with an acceptable excuse when the answer is " no", but I've been guilty too. The vagueness of @charsha's is what I'd recommend.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@BarbiHollywood wrote:
I received a wedding Save The Date card several months ago for the granddaughter of some wonderful friends of ours who, sadly, have passed away. The wedding is about two hours away and would require an overnight in a hotel. We planned to go, but now just don't feel like giving up an entire weekend to attend. I'd like to RSVP to the bride by saying something nice and letting her know that we appreciate the invitation and will send a nice gift, but we just don't feel like attending.

I'm struggling to find the right words. Any suggestions?

Thanks.

I assume there is an RSVP card or link, the polite thing is to decline asap. You don't need to offer any explanations

it's a yes or no question