Help ! Husband's Retiring in Two Months - Page 4

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

Well, for my two cents worth........

When we got married, after I saw my MIL's house, I said we'll half the work. I have a full time job and I'm not having two!

I drew up the list, we halfed all of it, and it's still going strong!

I would make him aware of what has to be done, by making the list and each take turns picking out what you're going to do. We even did "I wash you dry" with dishes and laundry (I learned I was the only one who SHOULD wash!

The first year we were married, however, his clothes were in the extra bedroom in our duplex. He was just dropping dirty clothes all over the floor with the laundry hamper right outside of the door, next to the bathroom.

I picked up the dirty laundry I believe twice. Then I left the dirties.

He asked where his laundry was the next day. I innocently replied "I washed all the clothes in the DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER! He had to stay home the next day to wash his underwear or wear mine!!!

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Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@pattypeep wrote:
I've been retired for 10 years and love being home and taking care of the house and yard. I knew dh would be retiring next and honestly, I am really scared. I love my quiet time and he talks non-stop when he's home. He doesn't pick up after himself. He never has helped with housework. His household "job" in the 25 years we've been married is mowing the grass except when we hire it out. I love him, I really do, but can someone give me some advice on how to adjust to this change?

@pattypeep I get it...ground rules need to be set now. No one says you need to change how you’ve enjoyed your life at home. DH just needs to adapt and help so he doesn’t prevent it.

My Dad was lucky to retire at 55. Mom was skeptical, but they talked it out and spent many decades in “semi-harmony” until he passed away a few months short of 91.

When Dad retired, I bought them a wall plaque that hung in every kitchen where they lived. It said, “Retirement is twice the husband with half the income”.

Enjoy this new chapter.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

Hi there @pattypeep,

Good for him on his retirement. Question! Who let him get away with not picking up after himself etc., and for 25 years? Twsant me!

=^..^=

hckynut

hckynut(john)

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

My advice is to embrace it, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

My husband lost his job suddenly 9 years ago. He rode out unemployment, then applied for his disability due to progressive diabetes. I gave up my job and took early retirement to be home with him, at the end of 2012. I have absolutely no regrets.

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

@hckynut LOL ! Twas' me and his mother before me. I refused to be a "nag", so gave up and did it all. He'll change, I'm confident of that.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein

mare54 · ‎08-14-2011

My hubby is retiring in about 17 days (but who's counting haha). I can't wait. He has a photography gig lined up which will keep him busy. Photography is his hobby and very good at it. I think we'll do fine...... I hope. I'll report back in a couple of months!!

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

Interesting subject and there would certainly be concerns as lifetyles change. Each individual and couple are different. Husband was going to reitre at end of 2019 and I was going to retire a year later but last summer we looked at one another and said, let's retire at the same time. Our personalities and interests are different enough that we hopefully won't be hovering. And we've learned to express what we need. Still, it's going to be a transition. Good luck to you, twopeas.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

@pattypeep

We are retired -- being together 24/7 has been a real challenge for me. I do know for a fact I've perfected my "🙄" and some days I thank the good lord for giving me patience! lol

I'm sure it will workout - you both just have to find the "right" mix...for us - we do our own things. I love the days he golfs (3/4 days week) that's when I really enjoy my day!!!

although, my spouse is very self sufficient & neat. I travel a lot home or on "my" vacations and we have a standing joke: I come home house clean & neat -- he always says "not bad only took 3 hours to make it messy😉!"

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

@pattypeep wrote:
I've been retired for 10 years and love being home and taking care of the house and yard. I knew dh would be retiring next and honestly, I am really scared. I love my quiet time and he talks non-stop when he's home. He doesn't pick up after himself. He never has helped with housework. His household "job" in the 25 years we've been married is mowing the grass except when we hire it out. I love him, I really do, but can someone give me some advice on how to adjust to this change?

@pattypeep I think we are married to the same man.......

my husband has been home, retired now for two years.... does NOTHING. He mows the grass too....in the summer..... 🙄

Bridgegal · ‎03-09-2010

@Venezia

@Venezia wrote:
@HLP- I don't think there's any need to scold other women who are simply discussing the adjustment that many face when one partner retires.

I'm sure no one here would dismiss the trauma of losing a spouse, but retirement does change the dynamics of a relationship and good, healthy couples can and do discuss these things.

I was just starting to type almost the exact same thing you posted. Thanks for saving me the typing.