Re: HOW SHOULD I HAVE HANDLED THIS?

sophiamarie · ‎08-08-2013

@bootsanne wrote:
Party was today. He was the only male there. It was not a fun time and yes we were at an upscale restaurant. The niece whose husband came---in separate vehicles--looked like she just rolled out of the laundramat. He looked slightly better. He is a very nice guy and when have our big get togethers, his company is always welcome. But this was to be a girl's day out. The jewelry gifts were a huge hit, all the girls crying and very touched. But I'll stick by my guns, he should not have been there.

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They came in separate vehicles and she looked like she just rolled out of the laundromat.

This tells me that they had an argument (she didn't want him to go) and he insisted, even taking his own vehicle. This sounds like there is much more to the story than everyone knows. Sounds like a very controlling man IMO. I don't think he is a "very nice guy".

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

My first thought, after reading a few posts, and right or wrong: Could be that he didn't want his wife saying anything bad about him, and he wanted to make sure that she didn't. Could be that they've been having a few disagreement(s) lately, and he was thinking that she possibly would have asked the girls their opinions, etc. Just thinking out loud, as usual..........OR: Wait a minute! Could be that she wanted him to be there so she wouldn't be asked 'How are things going?' (with their marriage), etc., etc.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

I'm not seeing where there was anything to "handle". Unless it was my husband or boyfriend who insisted on going, I would have stayed out of it.

I love girls-only events, and I think that sometimes they can be boring for men. But that's their problem. If I wanted to only socialize with women, then I would spend my time talking to the women. There's no reason to let this spoil a good time.

(I also don't see any need to over-analyze this couple, his motives, or their relationship. Not everything has something sinister behind it.)

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Just a footnote sort of comment. Do you remember that one NY Wives show when Jill had some get together and the blonde wife had to bring her husband along? I think they were among the first who had to leave the show. His name is on the tip of my tongue. He was very tall. They had two kids. One was (sp?) Francoise....

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

Something is going on with that couple.......possibly physical......I would have someone in the family see what's going on....

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I'm sorry your get together with the gals didn't go as planned. I feel like it was your niece's responsibility to honor your request. You were the hostess and you had the right to call the shots.

With that said, I do know men who are more comfortable around women then they are men.....or he may have a problem....I don't know.

Regardless of that, to me..... it is only polite to honor the hostess wishes (not to mention the other guests who seemed to feel the same way). After all, she is the one putting her heart and soul into such a gathering for one she loves and just wants it to be as nice as possible.

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

At least you had a heads up that he was coming so you would not be surprised when he showed up.

People bring kids to adult only events, too. We had our annual holiday party for work. It is an evening cocktail party and has been adults only since the earth was new. Someone brought their infant and another person brought their 11 year old. Both asked if they could bring their children ahead of time and I said no, it was adults only and the DJ music would be very loud for the infant as there was no place to go where it was quiet.

They brought they anyway.

===================================
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chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

What a shame that he had to show up and make everybody else uncomfortable. Clearly, it's all about him.

As to him seeming to be a nice guy - Like others here, I have my suspicions about his private life and possibly controlling his wife.

I've known some bad guys and they always seemed nice outside of the private life where they did their damage.

Reminds me of the one who brings gifts to a 'no gifts' party. They have to make it about them and bring gifts, thereby making everybody else uncomfortable and disrespecting the host's request.

Glad the girls did have some fun, though!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

It sounds like my cousint Paul...lol He goes everywhere she goes, even if he is expressly not invited. Even to girls only things like this. He says he'll keep hisself busy but he always butts in where he isn't wanted. It has ruined some things. His wife says she can't control him but I know she doesn't try very hard, if at all. When I gave my daughters a baby shower in November, I chose not to invite Mary. I called her myself and told her why and that she would be more than welcome, we all wanted HER at the shower but it was not a co-ed shower and Paul shouldn't come. You are not being petty at all and your are right, he's going to insert his presence and drag things down. Nothing you can do about it. I had another relative who always dragged her son with her to everything until he rebelled when he was around 13 and just refused to attend adult parties and all girl stuff.