@this is my nic I always taught my daughters, "If something or someone says or does something that really bothers you, you tell them. Then if they don't AT LEAST make an attempt to improve whatever it is, either they don't care how you feel OR they can't do anything about it. If it's the latter, you need to decide how to live with the problem or rectify it."
Sound simple? Not really when you're married. But don't expect anyone to give you an answer when you, yourself has not confronted the problem.
If YOU haven't discussed with your husband how you feel, how is he supposed to know AND for goodness sakes, how is the forum supposed to respond?
Do I sound matter-of-fact? Well, yes, because that's the only way to put it. You sound like an intelligent person. Think about how you want to approach the subject and get it straight in your head before you do.
My advice would be to never come 'at' someone. For instance don't say, "You really p...i..s.s.ed me off when bla bla".
I think you'd do better if you approach the problem by talking about his need to be precise in a positive way. Then maybe talk about how you usually estimate. Talk about what you love and admire about him. Maybe even ask him what he loves about you.
Then, after that discussion tell him that your feelings are hurt when he corrects you in front of others (or even when you are alone). Tell him as you've gotten older you've maybe become more sensitive to that. Tell him you'd appreciate it if he could discuss the discrepancies later.
You see what I'm saying. Appeal to his own self-worth. Talk it up. I don't see it as 'giving in'. I just think (as with any problem) you come at it or someone with negativity you will be met with negativity.
Obviously, it sounds like you two love each other. Work with that.
Please come back at some time and let us know if the problem is better. You might have to settle for better at this stage.
I am a person who goes crazy trying to be precise when I talk about something (see the use of the word paraphrasing in my posts). If I'm giving out numbers I go crazy trying to give the precise number....I know it drives others crazy because it drives me crazy.
On the other hand I was married to someone who did everything perfectly. If he said something, he was right. Me, not so much. See, there is a difference in what I'm saying. When giving DETAILS I'm precise. But otherwise, it's not important. It sounds like you are dealing with someone who is precise.
To sum up all of this bla bla. Please go to him when all is well and try to approach the subject like I suggested. Take care. Annabelle/Linda
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