Among Friends

[this is my nic]

I am a "mature" woman, married with grown children.  We are very close, everyone lives in the same small town and we see each other often.  Wonderful!

Last summer my best friend moved away, far away.  A couple weeks ago, my neighbor, who is a very good friend, announced that they were moving away.  

So, now I'm facing having no friends to drop in for a visit or have lunch.  It used to be so easy to make friends, but as the years go by, it gets harder.  Once there was a party every weekend.  I can't tell you when the last party was that we intended. 

How do people who are retired make new friends?   I have done enough volunteer work and don't want to do that again.  Our neighborhood is lovely and we simply do not want to move.  

Suggestions?  Thanks! ❤️

[QVCkitty1]

I can't suggest how you make new friends, to me it seems random, and it is harder as you get older. My best friend lives in another, and we can't visit often, but we talk a few times a week and email almost daily. She is the nicest ,funniest person I know and we are still close. I know it's not the same, but it can still be good.

[Dusty1]

Do you knit or crochet? Both of my local libraries have a night that people get together & do that.

They seem to have a good time & I would love to join them, but I don't have time right now.

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

My mother and I were talking about this, it seems like senior people have their friends from 20/30 years back so new people are delegated to associate status.  She and I both are having the same problem.  My suggestion is make sure you stay as close to your old friends as possible because it won't be easy to replace them!

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

Also is there a senior center in your area?  My mother 's center goes on a lot of lunch, theatre, shopping, museum trips which helps pass the time!

[this is my nic]

Great idea, but I don't do either!  

I started taking yoga last year and enjoyed the classes and could envision making a few friends.  Unfortunately, a bad back, problem hip and a new issue with my shoulder caused me to stop the classes.  I'm stuck in "Child's" pose!  LOL!  

We moved a lot, never lived in our home state after marrying, yet we had many friends in just a few months.  I enjoyed living in different parts of the country.  Now, I think those who never left their home area might have had it right.  

[Silkeej]

I would seek out the Senior center to be around mature people who have the same life style as you do, kids grown, out of the PTA phase, and like you enjoying retirement. They have trips they go on, lunch is served every day, card clubs, exercise equipment, classes you can take, and even a small library where you can take out books of interest.   It seems there is always something to do, they also have dances, dinners, and entertainment that come in for special weekend programs.

[Peaches McPhee]

Whatever your hobby is, find a group for that.  For example, a gardening center might have a gardening club.  Your library might have a book club   Your local YMCA might have a walking group -- or check with your local mall to find indoor walkers.  Good luck.

[Mom2Dogs]

@this is my nic....I am in the same boat...two very good friends have retired and moved far away in the last few years.   One lived right across the street and we lunched, shopped, did crafting projects for Christmas....I miss her terribly....we were very compatable and laughed a lot when we were together, I really miss that laughter.

The other friend was a quite a bit older than me and the things we did together were different than what I did with my neighbor.  We would get together often for coffee, we had worked together many years earlier and hit it off right away...miss her a lot as well.

I have no family in the area so I don't have any events that involve family.  I have two other friends that I do things with that have been friends since child hood.   One is still working fulltime and has a stressful job the other was widowed earlier this year....finding friends at an older age is difficult, which If I had an answer.... I'd follow my advice.

DH is not social like I am so he's fine the way things are, I reallly miss my girl friends.

[Kalli]

Sorry your friend situation is changing. A few months back I realized my former coworkers, whom I always considered to be among my best friends, are getting together fewer times each year and I haven’t even been retired 2 years yet!  Most have grandkids who keep them busy and others travel to warmer climates all winter. 

I help my elderly Dad so there are some weeks when I’m really busy myself. I notice I do most activities by myself now, from going out for coffee to going to the gym...even trailriding. I have a friend who would always go whenever I called her but her sister moved closer now and she spends more time with her. 

I’ve adjusted and accepted this change.  I just do what I want on my own. I told my son I’m becoming more of an introvert and didn’t see this coming! Oh well.