Among Friends

[Mom2Dogs]

I have a longtime girl friend she is 68 years old, never married and has no children.

 Last year was tough for her, she lost her job and had a health issue. Fast forward to about 10 months later...she is a hot mess.  Her health did improve but she still has no job.  She will not take just any job...she wants the job she wants.

She has two sisters that she is relatively close to and me...we all run around together.  It has gotten to the point that we no longer know what to say to her as far as trying to help her over the hump of not working and being home a lot.

Any suggestion we give she shoots down...I don't want to look back and think of my self as not being a good supportive friend to her but oh my, it is  tough.

She cannot stand to be home more than 1 day before she is wanting to go somewhere, anywhere, to the point of inviting herself to tag along if she knows one of us is going somewhere.

She has always been very independent and took no 'guff' off anyone... we are just very surprised about how she is handling things in her life.  I think she is depressed, she is tired, anxious and very irrtable.

I realize no one can tell me how to 'fix' this... I guess I am just venting.

I realize going from working full time to not working at all is a big deal.  Financially she is ok...

[RetRN]

The people I know who are 68 are retired and loving life. If she thinks she is going to find her dream job at this stage of life I think she needs an attitude adjustment. She will only continue to be miserable if she doesn't face reality.

[Mom2Dogs]

@RetRN   I agree..she seemed to think when looking for  work that she should get the same hourly wage she had been receiving before she lost her job (which she loved, but covid made it difficult for the business to stay open).  Her job was her life.

[On It]

I wonder if her job skills could be compatible to a volunteer role. Maybe she is missing her work family, and it needs to be replaced with a new one.

I agree that she will have difficulty finding her dream job or for that matter any job at 68.

[Kachina624]

Why doesn't she retire and file for SS Benefits at her age?  Then maybe she could work part-time doing something fun.

People just don't hire 68 year olds for high powered career positions.

[RetRN]

I loved my career, but it was never my life. That is unhealthy and she will now suffer the consequences of that choice. You may have to pull away from her at times and not get dragged into her bitterness.

[ninjawife]

It must very hard for someone her age to find a job.  Employers must think she will be ready to retire soon and are looking for long term employees. I recently quit my current job because I did not agree with the policies of administration and I was not treated with respect.  I could have retired as I am finanically able to but I was just not ready to retire at my age - 55.  So I understand wanting to work but if she is not finding what she is looking for there comes a time to move on and make another plan.  She could use her working skills to volunteer for an organization that would appreciate her skills if she really wants to be "working".   Of course there are tons of other things she could do as well which I am sure you have suggested.   

[Mom2Dogs]

@Kachina624   She is collecting SS.   She is looking for part time, but wants what she wants.  This is a small area, there are not a lot of jobs to be had especially a 'fun' job, and volunteering is not something she will do.

[NEvans2]

@Mom2Dogs  I have to agree with @RetRN . I am 68 years, retired since I was 62, and loving life. Your friend is being delusional if she thinks she can get a high paying job at this stage of her life. If she's that bored and money isn't an issue, she should volunteer somewhere. Apparently she doesn't like her own company. I'm perfectly content spending time by myself. My husband still works, so he's gone a good part of the day.

       Maybe she should talk to a professional therapist. JMO

[KathyM23]

At age 68 she will most likely never find the "perfect" job that suits her.  Since she is OK financially perhaps she can volunteer somewhere so she would be around people.  Or join the Senior Center for activities that interest her.  Dances, swimming, cards, crafts. lunches, trips - all kind of things are available at Senior Centers.  A good way to meet people with your interests.

Seems like her major problem may be that she is lonely after having been around people during her working life.  Never being married ithout a family life at home, her life consisted with working and that is where she got her "family" fix.  She needs to do something to be around more people for her mood to change IMO.