Re: Feeling cheated

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

Did you ask for a detailed copy of the estimate 2 1/2 years ago or did you just pay it? If you didn't, then I don't think there's much you can do, yes you feel cheated but it's your own fault for trusting them. When it comes to money, whether it's family or friend, you really can't trust people. I wouldn't bring it up to anyone else again. If this nephew ever gets married, has children and you don't feel like giving them a gift, then just give them a lovely card expressing your happiness for him. Never, ever mention the incident from years ago, their memory will be totally different from yours anyway. The only thing to do is "to take the high road". Lession learned on your part.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@embgm wrote:
Cherry yes now I know the morals of my nephew. He was 24 at the time. We physically bad the dealerships estimate in our hands we just didn't realize that my nephew had already damaged the bike himself. We were talked into not dealing with his insurance so his premiums wouldn't rise. Big mistake on our part. Trying to keep the peace cost us plenty! My husband would definitely confront him. I just want this to be between us and my nephew and not have my brother get involved like he did in the beginning.

Honestly, I don't know why you would say anything about this to your husband if you know he's going to confront his nephew. The nephew isn't going to hand over a wad of cash. You are angry with the nephew, rightly so, but it's been years and you know full well that your brother most certainly will get involved and he's going to support his son because the son is going to say you misunderstood him or made it all up to start trouble. If confronation and bad blood is what you want, go for it. Otherwise, accept that you brought this on yourselves and just move on.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@cherry wrote:
Do you think your brother knows what he did to you? I have a hard time believing, he doesn't know how his own child behaves

What child ?????? There was no child involved, the nephew was grown man. A young man but not a child and whether his father knew what he did or not is irrelevant. Parents are responsible for the actions of their grown children.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@embgm wrote:
Well of course my relationship with my nephew has changed. I would like to think my brother had no knowledge of the previous damage and he only was trying to make sure my nephew escaped this unscathed Right now I think i should confront my nephew and tell my brother what happened and how upset I am. And of course tell my husband. Even if we don't ever see the money it would put my nephew in an uncomfortable position. I will keep thinking about it. Thank you for all your responses I appreciate all of them.

@embgm

I am on the same page as you and probably would handle this exactly as you are thinking about. My motivation would not be in hopes of getting any money back, rather hurt and disgust that my nephew, who I love, would do something like this. This is not acceptable in my world. Before I make that call to my nephew, my brother would know about it.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Well, lesson learned there for me. Get the estimate of repairs on paper from whomever is making the repairs. Legit.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Hindsight is 20/20

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Shouldn't it have gone through the insurance of the person who was driving it ? Which would have been your husband's insurance, not your nephew's.

Irregardless - what is done , is done. I'd consider it a lesson learned.

PenneyT · ‎02-27-2015

OP, perhaps look at it this way: Your husband's insurance might have gone up because of the accident. By not reporting it, you probably saved money. Maybe in a few years it will balance out, the money you were 'cheated' out of, and the rise in insurance that may have followed.

Anyway, it was years ago, I would just say it was a lesson learned.

CouponQueen · ‎10-21-2010

Yes, I would tell hubby and I would ask my brother right out "Did you know Joe's damages were only $1100 when he damaged Jr's bike..." put it right out there to him. If they cared about keeping the peace they would of never lied to you like that.

That is LYING and STEALING from family! I am not sure you will ever get the money back..but I would make sure my husband and brother knew what Jr told me this holiday! And let me say this.... If Jr admitted to me during this holiday that he lied and fleeced me, I would of said something to him there and then too...Family..holiday etc..he obviously has no concept of truth and family...no way would I ignore it. Maybe not press to get the money back hut I would make sure ALL parties involved including my husband and brother were well aware of what little Jr fessed up to.