Among Friends

[ROMARY]

Open your window, and throw out your thoughts and feelings about this situation into an open trash can below.  (I recall reading something similar to that suggestion somewhere about twenty or more years ago.)  Just try to toss and forget.  (Said in a nice, caring way, because I do understand.)

[Happiness Is Inside JOB]

For me, many families are not as close as they believe, if so they would not steal from you. I do not believe the original poster will ever see that money.

I do believe the brother knew, and they may have always been jealous of the financial situation of the poster.

Learn the lesson, this nephew has gotten every future gift from you --- no matter what, wedding, baby shower, moving to new house, etc. No more financial assistance from you or your husband.

Wash your hands of him, be polite but distant, and make sure you and your husband are in agreement. I have washed my hands of a few people myself and it is the best revenge indifference to whatever happens to them.

[occasionalrain]

Your brother had no concern about causing family discord when he pressured you and your husband to pay the 2k. I would, in person, tell my brother what his son had said and watch for his reaction. I'd know from that whether he was in on it or not. 

If he was, I'd want nothing more to do with him. I don't believe a person should get a pass just because they are related.

[embgm]

Happiness this has certainly opened my eyes. You are correct I obviously misjudged this nephew and now wonder about others. I agree there will be no more gifts of any kind from us to our nephew. I haven't decided yet if I think my brother knows about this. All these responses have given me much to think about. I thank everyone very much.

[occasionalrain]

Why would your nephew tell you? Did he want to upset you, cause hard feeling between you and your brother? Perhaps he felt guilty; perhaps it wasn't his intention to cheat you. Maybe the whole thing was your brother's idea. Maybe it's  not even true. In any case, how can you possibly continue to care for them, want to spend time with them?

[embgm]

Occasionalrain Exactly I don't know what to think. I mentioned earlier I was wondering if he was drinking. We were at a party and maybe that slipped out. I definitely don't want to spend anytime with him. My brother I am not sure about.

[ROMARY]

Yes, I feel terrible for even mentioning that I've been wondering why he even mentioned it to you to begin with.  I'm actually scratching my head right now.   Still, better to first stop and think about whether or not you should say something to him or to your brother.  As I said before, try 'throwing it out the window', just to see if it works for you.  Sending you wishes for good luck in this matter.

[luvdoodles]

Hmm...I would be very upset with your nephew taking advantage of you like that. I would have a talk with him and say we will pay for the damages that we caused but you need to step up to the plate and pay for your own. Offer him a payment plan over a few months. He probably may not have it all at once. If he is a descent responsible guy, he should accept that.

[Isobel Archer]

You said you ended the conversation because there were so many people around.  Did anyone else hear this?  Because as others have said, it is likely that if you raise the issue, he will deny having said it.

It's times like this that I actually admire drama queens who would have shrieked - What OMG you charged us over $900 for damange YOU caused?  And you hounded us for the money?  How could you do this to family?

Oh well.

[goldensrbest]

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@hckynut wrote:

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@embgm wrote:

Two and a half years ago my husband had a small accident with my nephews fairly new motorcycle. Of course my nephew being young didn't want to go through his insurance and wanted us to pay out of pocket.

There was no other vehicle involved so no worries there. The estimate came in rather high at a little over $2000.00. Of course I was very upset at both my husband for driving it and at the high dollar figure for the damages. Well while discussions were going on about the price of repairs my brother called us many times very upset causing tremendous stress on us to pay the $2000.

After a few days of discussion despite feeling the estimate was too much we paid my nephew and he got the bike fixed. Now push ahead to Christmas night 2016 the bike accident came up. I said " I still can't believe how much those repairs cost" .

My nephew said to me and I Quote"  Uncle Joe's damage was only $1100. The rest of the damage was mine". I was shocked!  Since there were so many people around I ended the conversation but now I feel I should privately  confront my nephew.

I am hurt and angry. Haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. We are a very close family and see each other often and don't want to rock the boat but feel he should refund $945.00 to us. Should I keep the peace or not? 

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John, why do you do that?