Among Friends

[Q4u]

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@Marienkaefer2 wrote:

Only you know your family best and all that were involved.

My initial gut reaction when I first read your post was this:

You'll never see that money.

Think about what would be involved in trying to get it back.

If you think that your brother (who pressured you, per your post, into paying the two grand) is going to pressure his son into paying you a refund, then go ahead and try.

I'm just on the outside, looking in.

I don't think they will budge, and it's a question of how much aggravation you want to go through for a zero result.

In my view, it's water under the bridge, and karma has a way of making things right.

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I agree with a lot of what is said here however I would do what it takes to make the nephew return (at least) some of the money even if it means taking them to court.  This child/man needs to understand that this kind of behavior (especially to those in the family who love you) is NOT tolerated.

[drizzellla]

One thought keeps rattling around in my head - is this going to cause a stink between your brother's family and you? Do you think it will turn into upset feelings on both sides?  

Not sure what your brother knows about the accident and repair. And not sure how he will feel about your asking for $945.

I know what the "right" way to solve this. BUT we are talking about family. And things don'r always work out like you think they should.

I would hate for this to cause a permanent sore.

[embgm]

I could not believe that he told me he did some of the damage. It was a CHristmas party and I have been wondering if he had any liquor. But I don't know. I have not known my brother to be dishonest but now I am questioning everything. Since it came out of his mouth yesterday I'm wondering if it will come out again. There was a picture of the family gathering that this accident occurred at on my sisters fridge which is how the discussion came up. 

[DiAnne]

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@drizzellla wrote:

One thought keeps rattling around in my head - is this going to cause a stink between your brother's family and you? Do you think it will turn into upset feelings on both sides?  

Not sure what your brother knows about the accident and repair. And not sure how he will feel about your asking for $945.

I know what the "right" way to solve this. BUT we are talking about family. And things don'r always work out like you think they should.

I would hate for this to cause a permanent sore.

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How can it not?

[Sooner]

Unless you enjoy this sort of dust up, you'll pay WAY more in grief than money you MIGHT get back unless you simply let it go.  Sometimes it will pay for itself down the road in lesson learned.   Education is always expensive.  

And don't get on someone's bike. . . BAD idea. 

[embgm]

Well of course my relationship with my nephew has changed. I would like to think my brother had no knowledge of the previous damage and he only was trying to make sure my nephew escaped this unscathed Right now I think i should confront my nephew and tell my brother what happened and how upset I am. And of course tell my husband. Even if we don't ever see the money it would put my nephew in an uncomfortable position. I will keep thinking about it. Thank you for all your responses I appreciate all of them. 

[hckynut]

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@embgm wrote:

Two and a half years ago my husband had a small accident with my nephews fairly new motorcycle. Of course my nephew being young didn't want to go through his insurance and wanted us to pay out of pocket.

There was no other vehicle involved so no worries there. The estimate came in rather high at a little over $2000.00. Of course I was very upset at both my husband for driving it and at the high dollar figure for the damages. Well while discussions were going on about the price of repairs my brother called us many times very upset causing tremendous stress on us to pay the $2000.

After a few days of discussion despite feeling the estimate was too much we paid my nephew and he got the bike fixed. Now push ahead to Christmas night 2016 the bike accident came up. I said " I still can't believe how much those repairs cost" .

My nephew said to me and I Quote"  Uncle Joe's damage was only $1100. The rest of the damage was mine". I was shocked!  Since there were so many people around I ended the conversation but now I feel I should privately  confront my nephew.

I am hurt and angry. Haven't mentioned it to my husband yet. We are a very close family and see each other often and don't want to rock the boat but feel he should refund $945.00 to us. Should I keep the peace or not? 

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[sunshine45]

keep the peace......

and next time, if there is a next time,  be in touch with the body shop that did the repairs OR the insurance company and ask which damages were the fault of the driver......and ALWAYS take your own photos.

[deedledeedeedle]

That's horrible. If you can't trust family not to rip you off, just who can you trust? I think your brother is also culpable because he acted as the go between. How you handle it is up to you, but it is a good learning experience to never cut a family member any slack at the risk of this happening again. Your husband should have filed a police report & insurance claim ASAP and the extra damage would have remained your nephews' responsibility. Shame on him for cooking up the scheme to defraud you & chalking it up to fear because of his age. Is small claims court an option for you to recover this money? Your husband probably was not given an estimate or receipt. What a mess.

dee

[Gram W]

@embgm. Do you have anything in writing regarding this whole transaction?  In court I imagine you would need to prove your claim.  Without proof it becomes a he said she said.  Do you have a cancelled check and a copy of the actual repair bill or estimate?   It often does not pay to trust family and friends when money transactions are involved.  Very sad but often true.  Good luck whatever your decision.