Among Friends

[RainyDayGal]

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@missy1 wrote:

I read that sad story. That man could have snapped with anyone. I don't blame dating sites, I put the blame on him. He could have met her at her party, through a friend, etc.

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Exactly.  I met my husband through match.com.  I know several people that are happily married after doing the on-line dating thing.  There's crazies out there everywhere. 

[Q4u]

Meeting the guy the first time isn't the problem IMHO.... it's feeling comfortable enough to continue seeing someone a few times and letting your guard down!!

It's true that not every guy is out trolling for a victim, but the low percentage that are won't (probably) do anything the first, second or third dates.....

I think it is worth every penny to go on line and learn as much as you can about the person.  There are sites that can tell you just about everything if you're willing to invest the money!  

[Adamlambert]

a friend of mine is desperate to get married.  She finds men on dating sites and always sleeps with them the first night. She must have been w at least 20 so far.  She's still living and nothing bad has happened to her, other than a lot of rejection!!!   I can't get her to stop either.  Just stating the other extreme to simply meeting in a coffee shop. 

[GCR18]

I might as a double date.  Bring your friend and her guy.  Definitely in a public place.  

[MalteseMomma]

About 16/17 yrs ago or  more ,I met 3 or 4 guys  online. not on  FB ,it wasn't  there yet..lol.. but  in AOL  chat rooms  online.They all were from my neighborhood or very close by ,like the next town. I had "chatted quite a long time in groups with them before  we met. I always met them in a very public place,like my town dinner.  I have remained very  good  friends with all of them over all these years.They all were very nice,including one guy I sent home to get back together with his wife.He was not cheating just going through a divorce and really loved his wife,so I told him to go try to get back together with her and he did   

I have made many lasting friendships that way I still go to lunch on occasion with one or two of them or maybe a movie. now i am quite old..lol......78   

[KingstonsMom]

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@missy1 wrote:

I read that sad story. That man could have snapped with anyone. I don't blame dating sites, I put the blame on him. He could have met her at her party, through a friend, etc.

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I agree, I wasn't blaming online dating at all, just that there's a lot of crazies in this world and I would do everything I could to be sure he is who he says he is, if it were me.

As others mentioned, for $10 you can do a background check online.

[missy1]

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@MalteseMomma wrote:

About 16/17 yrs ago or  more ,I met 3 or 4 guys  online. not on  FB ,it wasn't  there yet..lol.. but  in AOL  chat rooms  online.They all were from my neighborhood or very close by ,like the next town. I had "chatted quite a long time in groups with them before  we met. I always met them in a very public place,like my town dinner.  I have remained very  good  friends with all of them over all these years.They all were very nice,including one guy I sent home to get back together with his wife.He was not cheating just going through a divorce and really loved his wife,so I told him to go try to get back together with her and he did   

I have made many lasting friendships that way I still go to lunch on occasion with one or two of them or maybe a movie. now i am quite old..lol......78   

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I loved those aol chat rooms. 

[MalteseMomma]

@missy1  .

 AOL had a great Widow and Widowers group.

I'll never forget the time I met a guy in the parking lot of my towns dinner.There he was leaning against his" Harley Davidson"  and I thought I had hit the jackpot!!!!  (I am a closet Biker.lol)

We rode all over on that bike that day,all through town (my son is Mayor.lol  ) and I thought  what if anyone sees my son and tells him," I just saw your mom on the back of a Harley"  ..lol 

We are still good friends and now it is my,  policeman,grandson that rides the Harley.......lol

[Ms X]

I don't know, but anyone who would should get the info and maybe pay a professional to do a proper background check before any decision is made.  There are too many crazies on the Internet.

[ChynnaBlue]

Meeting a person from Facebook is not much different from online dating sites, which are very common and, if you use your head, very safe.

I've met all kinds of people I know online in real life have done since the 80s. Some of them are my closest friends and I've even been in the wedding party of one person I met through a video game. We played together for years before meeting in person. Some of my friends live in the same city I do and some are in other states. I've been on vacation with online friends I've met in real life.

One of my rules for online friends, whether I meet them or not, is that I don't stay friends with people who make me uncomfortable or send up any red flags. That can be anything from telling inappropriate jokes, flirting with me when I've asked the person not to, telling me too many personal details too soon, telling me NO personal details ever, or giving me conflicting information/lying about things.

I meet the person in a public place of my choosing and make sure my friends and family know where I am. I arrange to call a friend or family member when I meet the person and make sure I check back in with that person later. I've been meeting online friends in real life since 1986 and I'm still alive to tell and say that my life would be much poorer had I not met those friends.