Re: FAMILY LOAN DILEMMA

PABoater · ‎10-07-2015

WHAT????? NO.... you DO NOT take family to court norr do you charg interest!!! My god, what is wrong with you- Lesson learned!

Husband's side of the family??? I would make him pay me back and he can deal with his Aunt!!!

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Well, one thing is clear. The woman's husband removed himself from this ridiculous situation because knowing all the parties, he knew where this was going. His wife was free to do whatever she wanted with her money and she wanted to make that loan. The niece, who is an adult in every way, just wanted the money for the apartment. She had no way to repay it in lump sum. It should always have been a long term loan. Like $100 a month. The parents didn't borrow the money, it's not their debt and I think the daughter is the one who pulled them into it. I can hear her saying "my parents said they'll pay you back in two weeks". I think the young woman who created this mess is a spoiled brat who manipulates people to get what she wants and her uncle knows that which is why she couldn't go to him for the money. Instead she cosied up to his wife who felt good about helping a younger woman out. And now what's done is done. There is no contract. So small claims court would be waste of time. A waste of the filing fee. The girl would just say she thought it was a gift or the agreement was she could repay whenever it was convenient for her. That her parents made a partial payment would support that. I think accept the reality of the situation. Invite the girl over for coffee and explain to her that she must repay the loan that was made to get out of friendship. Work out a payment plan the girl can actually afford. She works so at least $25 a week. Perhaps the niece who is very young will learn something from this. Stop asking her parents for the money. Be thankful they made the partial payment. Take a deep breath, rise above anger because the one responsible for this mess is the one who made a loan that should never have been made. I think there is so much interest in this because so many of us have had the experience of loaning a family member or friend money that was not repaid. More than once for me because I didn't learn my lesson the first time. But it is only money. And not a large amount. It's not something worth ruining family relationships over.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

@chrystaltree

The parents told the daughter they would pay the entire $1250 in two weeks. The niece got the cash but the loan was actually between the daughter and the parents. That they paid $250 and an additional $200 along with the promise of an additional $200 each of the following weeks establishes a loan agreement which will provide ample proof in small claims court.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@PABoater wrote:
WHAT????? NO.... you DO NOT take family to court norr do you charg interest!!! My god, what is wrong with you- Lesson learned!
Husband's side of the family??? I would make him pay me back and he can deal with his Aunt!!!

First, the brother of the husband and his daughter are the ones that took the loan and promised to pay it back ASAP....short term loan.

They paid back a portion of it and now have decided to stop paying.

The lender was the wife. Her husband doesn't want to deal with his brother and niece. The money is a hardship for the family.

Now, the wife wants the money back. This is not her family. It is her husband's family,his brother and niece. They have no respect and willfully cheated to get money.

The husband pay the money back to his wife? You gotta be kidding. He is not responsible for his brother, but he should man up and support his wife in getting the money back.

I can't think of one good reason to just forgive the loan because the borrowers are family. They are all working. The money wasn't used for an emergency, medical expenses or food.

The lender, I am sure has learned her lesson, but she shouldn't have to eat $800.

She should go after her brother-in-law and his daughter toy back the loan.

This family is already broken. Forgiving the loan is not going to make things better or worse.

Small court cases usually happen in a magistrate's office, not the court house.

If it was a small amount of money, i would let it slide, but for $800 I would use the fullest extent if the law to get it back. That's a lot of money and the borrower is not an immediate family member.

This way the borrow will learn their lesson too. When you borrow money, you 100% need to pay it back. Do you think the bank would let this go?

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

Unfortunately a lot of times people who appear well to do are actually deeply in debt - and loathe to admit it.

It may also have seemed that since your daughter had the money immediately available (even though she told them she would need it back quickly) that she could easily assume this expense for a longer time. When she let them know that wasn't the case, they could have been extremely embarassed and unwilling to tell the truth about their financial issues.

IF any of that is the case, pressing them no doubt will cause a rift as they will then see this as some sort of effort to further embarass them. Can her husband shed any light on the true situation at all?

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

That the husband wanted no input, nothing to do with loaning the $1,250 makes me thinking that he's not at all surprised his brother hasn't paid it back.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@occasionalrain I agree. This has probably happened before.

There could be a history of borrowing money and not paying it back with these people.

pdlinda · ‎10-23-2011

@occasionalrain It's the sister and bro-in-law.

The bottom line is that the in-law family was always seen as being very well-to-do, but now it's clear that if ANY OF THEM had $1,250 in available cash they wouldn't EVER have had to ask my daughter, who is a working professional,for the money.

persiflage · ‎02-16-2014

At this point it is a life lesson that currently is financially costing her $800. There are several lessons here about judgement and there is no teacher like experience.

If it was my daughter I would suggest she print up a document that shows amount borrowed, what has been paid so far with date paid, lines for future payments, etc. and email it to them. She could explain that she wants to make sure they all know where they are with the payments and are on the same page. I don't think she should be nasty because it is not worth it.

I do not think a husband or anyone should step in, she is capable, made the deal and needs to manage it. I would not like it if someone took over an agreement I had negotiated. See it through.

I don't think she should even consider court, etc. That choice would likely cause years of bad feelings and might spread unnecessarily to other family members. Not worth it.

She is likely kicking herself for loaning money that she needed so soon. She trusted where she shouldn't have. If it was my daughter and I could I would try to help her through financially and to realize this is not worth risking other relationships beyond the people directly involved.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

Agree that there may have been a lot of assumptions - on both sides.

Here, many are assuming the parents are deliberately stiffing her - and even that they intended to do this all along. That may not actually be the case.