Among Friends

[pdlinda]

@Carmie   Yes, there is proof of what the arrangement was.  Plenty of texts affirm the debt owed.  I'll pass along your suggestion to my daughter.  Thank you.

[Nightowlz]

Your daughter learned a lesson the hard way. I feel bad for her.

It's not right the niece borrows the money & not pay it back. She has a job so she can pay it back? Now she needs to do without to get by so she can pay your daughter back.

I would keep on her until your daughter gets it back. I would go as far as telling her what you think. 

Since she does have proof take her to small claims court?

Suze Orman says never loan anyone money that you cannot afford to get paid back.

[Poohbear52]

It seems like the person who loans the money always end up being the bad guy for wanting to get paid back. My brother and dad always wanted to help my sister and her husband out because of bad credit and she was upset that they actually wanted to get paid back. I gifted them money because they needed repairs on their condo. I gave what I could afford and that was that.

[pdlinda]

@Nightowlz  I don't think my daughter is giving up on getting this loan repaid.  It would be one thing if it was a few hundred $$ but $800.00 is in another category.

[bikerbabe]

Just keep in mind taking legal action will likely alter any relationship your SIL has with his family.

My advice is to stay out of it.

Loaning $ to family or friends should only be done without expectation of repayment. If they do, great. But don’t expect it.

[sabatini]

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@GingerHead wrote:

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 I learned the hard way to never loan money to family or friends because when they don't pay you back and you ask for repayment like they promised, you become the bad guy and are hated for it.

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@GingerHead, & it's not just about borrowing money, but almost anything!

My dad once loaned this long armed tree pruner to a friend. It was a nice one, & could prune really high tree branches.

Anyway, the guy promised to drop in by right after he'd used it, thanked my dad & left.

IDK how many times my dad had to call and ask for it back. Months and months and months.

After about a year, my dad made a heated call, and later on that day, the guy pulled up to the house and furiously threw that pruner into the garage.

Crazy.

[skatting44]

   My motto is the same as others , never lend  any money that you plan to never be repaid . I've been burned in the past by  family and learned my lesson .

  I would stay out of the dilemma. Be supportive to your daughter  but I would not say anything to anyone else.

  That 21 yr old  should  the one responsible  to  your daughter  for the loan .

  Your daughter should  stay in contact  and so should her Husband since it's his niece. If, it was my husband I'd be on him to get him to have his family  repay the debt .

[Lucky Charm]

I guess what stands out to me the most is how or why would the cousins relationships deteriorating in any way because of this.

Unless their adults, kids should be left out of money matters.

Do kids need to know that everyone involved is living on such tight means? No need to worry them with that in their heads.

[PhilaLady1]

I am sorry you are going through this @pdlinda 

My philosophy about lending money, to family or friends or whoever, is that I do it with the expectation that I may never see that money again. I don't lend any more than I can afford to lose.

[pdlinda]

@Lucky Charm  The cousins range in age between 10 and 21.  I won't get further involved but my daughter and her niece have been close and both are very kind hearted.

I don't think my daughter had any hesitation about making the loan because my son-in-law's family was always seen to be "well to do."  The thought that there was a problem coming up with $1,250 was kind of astonishing; however, my daughter thought nothing of it because she thought something "unusual" must have occurred and the repayment would be smooth and timely.

Now she thinks differently...and KNOWS differently.