Among Friends

[house_cat]

This is going to sound nutty, and it probably is, but I'm going to say it anyway.  DH and I have a new house in a new part of the country, prompting weekend guests twice a month or more. As the holiday season approaches and things get busier and busier at home and at work,  I find myself with "lock-down nostalgia".  I don't want to disrespect those who suffered mentally, physically or financially, but I'm feeling overwhelmed as things pick up, and nostalgic about those days when I could shut myself in and slow the world down.

[gidgetgh]

And I am the opposite.  I'm still being very careful because of Covid, but I am way lenient compared to some of my friends who, even fully vaccinated, don't feel comfortable doing anything, even walking for exercise outside with other people.  So I can't get together with them.

I have been spending way too much time home alone and I hate it with every fiber of my being.

But I do understand what you're saying @house_cat .  Too much company can be overwhelming.

[cotton4me]

I hear you. That’s a lot of visiting, having guests every other weekend (and more). I too would find that stressful. I like a certain amount of quiet time.

The thing I notice is more traffic, clogged rush-hours once again. I was trying to get home the other day (before rush hour) and I was caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic.  

[jackthebear]

do you need to have guests just

about every weekend?

sounds like they are using your place to avoid a hotel, 

I would not like people coming from all over right now 

[aprilskies]

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@cotton4me wrote:

I hear you. That’s a lot of visiting, having guests every other weekend (and more). I too would find that stressful. I like a certain amount of quiet time.

The thing I notice is more traffic, clogged rush-hours once again. I was trying to get home the other day (before rush hour) and I was caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic.  

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@cotton4me Yes!  While I wish the circumstances were diffferent, I truly miss the quiet roads.  Everyone was staying home. Now everyone is out and back to clogged and congested roads. I enjoyed it while it lasted. 

[Bri369]

Having overnight guests so often would be like torture to me, especially after working all week.  Are you inviting them or are they inviting themselves?  At some point, I would have to put my foot down and offer an alternative.  I definitely wouldn't be encouraging guests to come and visit.

[SoCal Bred]

@jackthebear  - wrote: 

do you need to have guests just

about every weekend?

sounds like they are using your place to avoid a hotel, 

I would not like people coming from all over right now 

I agree, if you extended an open invitation people will take advantage, some don't think about the inconvenience it puts on the homeowner, only you can put a halt on these visits that are overwhelming you.  Make up excuses, maybe they will get the hint eventually.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

No, @house_cat , I had a problem with recurring guests (family) even well before the pandemic.  Always came when my garden was at it's peak and I enjoyed just being here.  I didn't want company, and I detested the idea that just because we were related, their wish was my command!

It was hard but eventually I told them, just no.  Find another place to stay but if you do choose to come, it will not be with amenities (no guest bedroom, as snorer husband sleeps there now) and I will pump up the aerobed and you can sleep in the den.

Problem solved.  Other "recipents" of her unleashed visitations started making excuses and she got the message, started booking hotels.

[Shanus]

I have mixed feelings. I almost jumped out of my skin staying in and alone for so many months before the vaccine.

I did go out masked, plastic face shield, gloved, etc. near the end to do some bridal conultations, skincare, etc., but at home limited my visitors to close family members....even were alone for thanksgiving last year. My youngest GD is 10 and not vaccinated yet. Because my DH and I continued to work (even though mine was limited),  I stayed masked and required any family to mask up.

We live in the college town where the majority of my family attended, too. Frequently, I get requests to stay here when they all come back to town since they know the entire top floor (4 bedrooms) are vacant. I do limit those visits. I've been spoiled by my privacy at home.

I DO miss less traffic, crowded stores now especially  w/ holiday shoppers, waiting in grocery store lines, etc. 

[NYCLatinaMe]

Hi @house_cat unless those house guests are your children, consider letting them know some of the times when they call to set up the visit that your home is not available.  Space out the guests to dates that are convenient to you.  You are not compelled to take uninvited guests.

If the roads are too busy for your taste, maybe you are in need of a move?

Alternatively, have you considered whether this is an effect the lockdown had on your mental health?  You may want to seek counseling.