Among Friends

[BunSnoop]

I work with a woman that calls me twice in the day - 1st thing in a.m. and also 15 minutes before the end of the day.  I guess the purpose is to say good morning & have a nice evening??

95% of the time she adds nothing to the conversation.  In the past I would talk briefly about my plans for the weekend, the evening, etc.; however, I'm so tired of her adding nothing to the conversation.   So....now I started only saying I had a "nice" weekend a "nice" evening and don't tell her anything else.   I wanted to see if she would add something, but she still will say nothing.  When I ask her about her evening, her weekend, etc. she'll just say something like they were "too short"!   Then there is awkward silence on the call and she yawns loudly in my ear!

I try to talk about "general" conversations that I think the average person would be able to add something to (weather, general news stories I read or heard on the news), pretty flowers or little critters I see on my morning walks with my dog, etc.)  but after I'm done speaking she adds nothing or she'll make a comment like "I suppose" "who knows", etc.  Also, she yawns loudly during majority of the calls too!   Also, she'll never follow-up on anything and say - whatever happened, did it work out, etc?

Gosh, I just hate those calls.  I keep saying "I don't have anything else, so I'll let you go."  And she'll say, I don't have anything either".  Sometimes I take the phone off the hook so she'll get my answering machine.  She then sends an IM message saying she got my machine.  I IM back, just saying that I'm on the phone or my husband is.

 She never adds anything to our work team meetings either - she will only say something if a question is directed specifically to her.  

Oh my, I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed and needed to vent.  Anyone else experience something like this?   Any suggestions?

[SloopJohnB]

@BunSnoop  No, I don't know anyone like this, but she sounds kind of passive aggressive.  I mean, to initiate the calls, not add anything to the conversation, yet loudly yawns?  Either just rude or clueless?  🤷

[kaydee50]

Why does she keep calling you twice a day???  At home???  I'd let the calls go to the answering machine.  If she asks why, I'd be honest and say that it seems we don't have much to say to one another.  Does she call her other co-workers??  Weird situation, IMO.

[Snowpuppy]

Hate to tell ya but with texting, social media and twitter this is now how we converse. I wouldn't take it personally.

I have two co workers who are to check in daily with me as we're on WFH. In the office we are pleasantly chatty. Since we've been home it's only catch up on work flow and is anyone in our group taking PTO?

I had a chance to chat via IM with one of our IT people. Haven't caught up in ages. She resolved my issue and stopped in mid sentence. Guess we were done?

[ALRATIBA]

No - everyone I can think of is a "chatterbox"  It's almost like dueling to get a word in.

[Venezia]

I'm also wondering why this co-worker (?) feels the need to call twice a day or that @BunSnoop feels the need to answer.

If none of this is work related, I'd simply let it all go to voicemail, then delete and not return the calls.  Sooner or later the woman would (should) get the message.

Same for IMs.  Not work related?  Delete.  There's nothing in the OP to indicate this person is a friend outside of work.  Maybe she's lonely and this is her way of connecting with someone else, but it doesn't have to become the OP's responsibility.

[jlkz]

I once worked with a woman in a busy career center and we discussed present, pending and future work volumes and strategies.  Walked to transportation center and still talked about work issues.

Many times I asked her not to call me at home around 9 PM as that was when we ate dinner.  Inevitably, she would call 5 minutes till 9.  She must have tired of me telling her I had to hang up now as we were sitting down to eat.

[on the bay]

@BunSnoop,

That is weird. I woudn't know what to do except maybe like someone else said, let most go to voicemail and if she asks why you aren't answering you could say, just felt you both were trying to have conversation but couldn't find it!😄 

Now I wonder if she is doing something else while talking to you. You know emails, or reading these forums lol!

[Susan in California]

I worked with a woman who was basically a listener and added almost nothing to the conversation.  She did have a very 

sweet disposition, and I liked her.

She knew how to ask the right questions to get me talking. 

When I would reflect on our conversations, I felt embarrassed

that basically I had done all the talking.

Even now, when we are in communication, via text or phone,

her open-ended questions are right there.  Our travel, our kids,

our grandkids, our dog(s)?

For talkers, this can be nervana, haha.

[ScarletDove]

Caller ID works for ignoring a call, so does ignoring and deleting IM's.....your time, your decision how to handle!