DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS - Page 7

Lakelife62 · ‎05-09-2023

@Sooner wrote:
Mother and daughter at war, grandson taking advantage when he should be working. People have to work or live on the dole. It's a life choice. And he needs to wake up. Go to work or bum off grandma.

You don't help your kids or grandkids? Sometimes life happens and as parents we are called to step up. As someone upthread wrote, this is temporary. The OP is doing the lord's work.

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

Let him checkout different data plans-----and pay for them by doing chores working part time etc. Sit down with him, his mom and make a budget you can all live with.

Good luck---maybe his gifts for holidays and birthday can be $ towards his needs.

Good luck---you are a wonderful grandma

Effie54 · ‎09-08-2010

@Lakelife62 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
Mother and daughter at war, grandson taking advantage when he should be working. People have to work or live on the dole. It's a life choice. And he needs to wake up. Go to work or bum off grandma.
You don't help your kids or grandkids? Sometimes life happens and as parents we are called to step up. As someone upthread wrote, this is temporary. The OP is doing the lord's work.

Helping and enabling are two different things.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Luvsmyfam and others: I don't understand the hesitancy in just laying it on the line to the grandson. If he's living with you, eating your food, using your electricity, data, comfort of location, etc. why is he not responsible for paying anything?

If your daughter does not want to cover your extra expenses, you need to have a "sit down" with you grandson and hopefully your daughter, too.

Sailing through life thinking you can mooch (harsh) off others and not take responsibilty is a life lesson that will get him nowhere in the future. If you love him, this is the time to give him a taste of real life.

Please handle this now or he may need a swift kick out the door and see how expensive it is to live on his own. He'll sink or swim or come back to your home with a willingness to help out financially.

Definitely some tough love w/ you daughter and grandson needed here.

Lakelife62 · ‎05-09-2023

@Effie54 wrote:
@Lakelife62 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
Mother and daughter at war, grandson taking advantage when he should be working. People have to work or live on the dole. It's a life choice. And he needs to wake up. Go to work or bum off grandma.
You don't help your kids or grandkids? Sometimes life happens and as parents we are called to step up. As someone upthread wrote, this is temporary. The OP is doing the lord's work.
Helping and enabling are two different things.

I'd enable my young grandson to finish college any day of the week. If he were laying around watching tv all day, that's a different story.

The OP is helping this boy, not enabling him.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

The kid won't work, he won't get a drivers license, he doesn't walk across the street to go to classes. Where is his dad? You are being manipulated and used by your daughter. Give him a month to get a job and if he doesn't give him the boot. You've done more than enough. The enabling needs to stop! He is not entitled to anything. I would be interested in knowing what his major is as well as his GPA.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

I don't know if these questions have been asked before: Where is your grandsons father in all this? Is your daughter a single Mom? If so, does the father contribute anything? Obviously not living on campus is a huge savings for your daughter out of pocket costs (no dorm, no meal plan, no fee for having a car there, etc). So, I'm thinking money is very tight and having your grandson stay with you helps her out a lot? I'm just guessing. The "polite" thing your daughter should of been doing is helping with the cost of your grandson staying with you. When I stay at my sister's , I contribute to groceries and take her out to eat several times. And that's just for a couple of days or a week. She does all the driving (I'm out of state) and I offer to pay for gas. I think what's done is done at this point but going forward if you want things to change, you're going to have to have a conversation. Sooner than later because planning needs to be done. It's too late for next semester but I'd say way before the beginning of next school year (2024 -2025) some rulesguidelines need to be in placce. Maybe he can live on campus, share an apartment nearby? In the back of my head I'm also thinking that the school he is attending was also based on the fact you live across the street. I'm in the thick of college planning and I can assure you, it's a huge savings. I'm not a tech person, but I'd look into your cable/internet package some more. My husband is IT, works from home and has 3 computers he's on all day everyday. My daughter watches Netflix, Disney + all the time and I have a desk top in kitchen.

paixmcdao · ‎04-16-2022

There are three sides to every story..

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” -Mark Twain

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@Lakelife62 wrote:
If you can afford the extra $10 a month, just pay it. It's your grandson afterall. Not a stranger.
If you legitimately can't afford it, your daughter should be asked to contribute. I can't imagine she would object.
Let the kid study. Why put the pressure of a job on him for an extra $10 a month? School is his job right now.

I agree @Lakelife62 Pay the extra if you can. His job is getting an education. That will be your reward. He will be able to take care of himself. He will have you to thank for that!

Lakelife62 · ‎05-09-2023

@manny2 wrote:
@Lakelife62 wrote:
If you can afford the extra $10 a month, just pay it. It's your grandson afterall. Not a stranger.
If you legitimately can't afford it, your daughter should be asked to contribute. I can't imagine she would object.
Let the kid study. Why put the pressure of a job on him for an extra $10 a month? School is his job right now.
I agree @Lakelife62 Pay the extra if you can. His job is getting an education. That will be your reward. He will be able to take care of himself. He will have you to thank for that!

Exactly @manny2 . Right there with you- the OP is setting the stage for her grandson to be independent. He will always remember her for that.