Among Friends

[Malcontent]

What is the difference between a Hippo and a ZIPPO?

One is a little heavy and the other is a little lighter.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

[PhilaLady1]

What did the Alpaca say to his girlfriend?

"Want to go on a picnic?  Alpaca lunch."

[LTT1]

Hahahah!

[just bee]

I went to see a psychiatrist to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.

She put me on Xanax.

[just bee]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

HIPAA.

HIPAA who?

I can't tell you.

[Malcontent]

How do you wash a water proof rain jacket?

You dry clean it.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

[just bee]

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

[Malcontent]

What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?

A watermelon.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

[just bee]

I went to the psychiatrist because I keep acting like a dog.

She said, “Lie down on the couch and we’ll discuss this.”

I said, “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

[DSD2]

These are all little treasures. 

Thank you for the wry humor, I smiled at every single one.