Assisted Living Advice

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

Neighbor whose friendship we cherish. Our neighborhood is changing. Older forks like ourselves are moving out and being replaced by younger generations. Those of us left are holding on to what we know and love. Recently our best friends and next door neighbors told us they were looking into a retirement communities in three states. House keep up, stairs, help with repairs, etc the reasons. I listen carefully and I hear all about them having to give up most of what they own to be in a retirement facility. My mother was one of these who moved and then lost everything to some plan.

I guess my question is: Can older couples find a way to avoid handing over a lfetime of savings (that they collected and earned) just to be in a place that gives them what they need in their "golden years." Are all places TAKE IT ALL ending up with nothing left.

I am not trying to save inheritance for my children although it would seem that our funds should go to them and not some housing facility. There has got to be some plan or program or help making a good decision.

Anyone have advice.

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

@bonnielu Not all facilities require a buy in. When you are asked for major upfront money, make certain you understand what you're buying and that the company you're buying into has a good credit rating. The financials are at least as important as the services and appearance of where you'll live!

Even then, make certain you and whoever who want to leave money for understand how much of your buy will come back to you plus when and how to apply for it. Don't assume - make certain you understand the legal financial details. Not knowing is the surest way to lose big money!

Ainhisg · ‎03-09-2010

Yes, consult an estate planning attorney. You can get a specific kind of trust, and after 5 years, Medicaid can't touch anything in the trust. We preserved our parents estate and money by doing this.

ValuSkr · ‎03-15-2014

You could rent a flat - no stairs and maintenance is handled by the landlord. What could be easier? If you need assistance, say for meals or personal, hire an aide.

eadu4 · ‎06-14-2011

@bonnielu I lucked out. And many will not have this option and it's not for them but the stars actually aligned for me (a first lol). My daughter was building a new house and one of the plans had an in-law suite option. She asked if we were interested in going in on the house and since all we have seen is our 401K shrinking we said "yes". We sold our house July of 2022 and never looked back. I have my grandkids next door and I love every minute. It's a separate front entance, the basements are linked via a door that can be locked. It's worked out perfect. We are separate but still together. Again it won't work for many but it worked for us. We don't have the funds for "assisted living" and knew in the end our house would end up needing work that would drain us. We still work so we can contribute and pay our way.

I watched my aunt hand over $10,000 and more a month for her assisted living for years (she sold her home on Maine oceanfront property). And even that wasn't enough. She ran out of money shortly before she died. I am blessed and thankful for how it worked for me. We only moved 6 minutes from our former house. But gained 11.5 acres in the process. That was the only thing we had open to us. It is a sad reality and it breaks my heart reading these stories of people who are paying so much or worse have no where to go.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

At some point I might be faced with a similar issue as there is a large age gap between me and my husband, me being younger. Our house is on two floors - we have lived in the same home our entire married life 40+years. All bedooms are on the 2nd floor.

Housing is so expensive so if my husand would die before me I will be tasked with most likely finding a smaller place to live, upkeep is also an issue.

In my area we don't have the facilities where you 'buy in'. Out right purchase is what is available, There is one nice area that are small detached homes and condos. They are pretty small less that 1500 sq feet, and typically they are snatched up as soon as they come on the market.

I did see recently in our local paper that a nursing home will be building small homes beside the nursing home facility... from what I understand these will be a 'buy in' and when needed you can leave the detached home and have a space inside the nursing home if needed.

That is probably several years down the road but if need be I could look into that...since I don't have kids or family nearby, I try to always have my ducks in a row, I don't like being caught with my pants down...so to speak.

I think most people buy into the facilites so that everything is taken care of for them and they don't have those particular worries. If there is money left for their children, fine if not...so be it. I sure would not worry about children receiving money after death.

D Kay · ‎04-20-2010

There are many assisted living facilities that don't require upfront money. There are also lots of services that are available for in- home care, other than home health care, that would allow you to stay in your home as long as you're physically able to. I agree that talking to estate planning attorney would be helpful as well as your local agencies that provide such services.

sugarbee · ‎08-30-2014

In years past there were all kinds of financial options for independent living and assisted living.

Today, in most independent living retirement centers there is a buy in with no return as well as a large monthly fee - both are based on the apartment size selection and ammenities.

Normally in assisted living facilties you pay monthly fees based on levels of care.

The financial owners of these facilities normally own many others throughout the country. If they do not see a profit on owning an establishment they sell out.

People interested need to visit various centers, take a tour, have lunch and talk to residents and family members. They are all regulated by the State's Social Services agency so you can review facilities' inspection reports on line.

It is a very hard decision to make for prospects and their families. They should not wait till there is a need. They should start looking ahead of time.

Others like to stay in their own home and pay for the chores and care as needed.

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

I would definitely avoid so called "life care" communities that involve a large buy in and a hefty monthly fee. My SIL was in such a place. It was a not for profit and had been in business for over a century. Thought it would never go out of business. But it did. Bought by a "for profit" company which has since sold it to another "for profit."

My SIL died before all this occurred. I cannot imagine what has happened to those residents who thought they were set for life.

I would look into an independent "active adult" community that also offers assisted care if needed. Otherwise, as a previous poster noted, rent or buy an apartment and hire people on an as needed basis.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Ainhisg wrote:
Yes, consult an estate planning attorney. You can get a specific kind of trust, and after 5 years, Medicaid can't touch anything in the trust. We preserved our parents estate and money by doing this.

@Ainhisg Can't stress enough: Get a lawyer.