Among Friends

[LindaSal]

@Snowhite714   @software  said it best, you have to remove the temptation.   Many of us are guilty of this and have basically overcome it.   I think the therapy thing is a bit much, but of course I drink a couple glasses of wine a day too!!  LOL........Not making light of your situation but I started to limit myself to only shows that I really liked, I started to "save" items and would think about it for a day or two, most  times I would not end up buying the item after all.  The secret is for me to take the time to think about it.  The returns is also a big thing, I asked myself what if there is a sizing issue (that's happened about a thousand times!) and I need to pay to send it back??  I realized it's absolute nonsense and wasteful on my part.   Try to pick up a good book and turn off the television, you are truly not missing anything special.  Best wishes.

[momoftwo2007]

@Snowhite714 

I agree with @CAcableGirl2 on try to set small goals for yourself.  For example, I have done a NO BUY for lent for fashion and beauty products for the past two years.  I find 40 days doable.  But for you, you can set a goal for two days or for a week, like CAcableGirl said.  But make sure it is accountable to someone.  I share my NO BUY for lent here when Lent started, that way I won't break it. You can start a thread on your No Buy and update your progress, that way we can hold you accountable.   A NO BUY forces you to shop your closet instead of getting new ones.  

Good luck on your progress!

[hckynut]

@Snowhite714 

I am an addict to several things, which I will always describe as a "recovering addict". I am not going to try to fool myself by thinking there is a cure, there is not.

For each addiction my method was "quitting cold turkey". For me that is THE ONLY WAY.  I first make sure I  know I can do this, mentally. No "I hope so's". Strictly Optimism and faith in myself.

EVERYTHING starts with the very 1st move, and from there it is "1 day at a time".  Been many decades, but I  am still successful at recovering.

Nobody can do this for you, but YOU. Give you positive reinforcement and tips/suggestions etc, but success rests solely on you. I wish you well.

hckynut(john)

[DAD]

I just went on a 2 month shopping spree on QVC. My problem was weight gain during the winter. I had been sick & housebound. I got some good clothes on LTS & primetime. Now it's time to stop looking for anymore! I think you first should try not watching QVC or looking for specials. Find something that interests you. If that doesn't work you probably should talk to a therapist.

[RedTop]

I agree with others that you are addicted to the ease and convenience of online shopping.  It’s so easy to see exactly what you want from the comfort of your home, and know that with a few simple clicks it will be yours.  Having the power of that ease and simplicity overrides the feelings about the increasing credit card balance.

I only know one person who fell into this buying trap, and that was my MIL.   After she passed, my SIL found her mother’s closet packed full of new, unworn clothing and shoes, lots of bath and body items in the bathroom, and a freezer full of food. We also ran across her notebook of where she recorded her purchases and saw that in a  span of 30 months, she had spent well over $20,000!  

While my MIL could well afford her purchases, and there were no issues about the money, it was clear she had made TV shopping a hobby, and bought things just because she could.    

If you’re not happy with your new habit, figure out how to stop it before serious financial problems are in the picture.

[x Hedge]

   @Snowhite714 

I think it's premature to say it's an addiction. I think it's something else. Either way, more info is needed.

But the goal is not to name it, but rather to recognize and harness the behavior so that you have control of it rather than IT controlling you.

 From your post, I do see:

1.  a compulsivity for acquisition (but not for keeping/saving what you've acquired; and not for the act of spending money).

2.  It's primarily focused on (QVC) clothing (as opposed to overbuying perishables, services, etc)

 Tell me, which of the following three aspects of your behavior is most rewarding? Where in this process do you feel a sense of satisfaction? Is there any sense of doom/futility anywhere in this process?

•Acquisition

Placing orders/receiving parcels/unpacking and examining new clothes (do you try them on? Do you hang them up or store them back in their shipping boxes?)

•Living with it

Managing/ moving/constant shifting the storage problem within your home as more arrives.

•Disposal

Deciding what/ how much you need to donate to make needed space, and then actually letting those things go.

Try to isolate where in this process you feel a sense of regret. Is it only when the bill comes?

Or maybe as early as when the parcel arrives, before you even know what's in it?

And for starters, imagine what you think would happen if you de-selected all the shopping channels on your tv?

Does that thought make you feel anxious?  Or relieved?

[Snowhite714]

@x Hedge   Thank you for the time and thought evidenced in your response.  You certainly have given me much to think about and in many instances have hit the nail on the head, because my issue is indeed QVC and the ease of purchasing, returning, etc.

And to all who have responded and suggested that I put things in my cart and ponder the purchase, I have started that and it seems to work, not always, but it's a start.  Thank you to all of you for your encouragement.

[chrystaltree]

If you truly feel that your shopping is problem.  If it is making you unhappy and frustrated.  If there is no joy in it, if you want to cut back on the shopping;  you need to see a therapist.  I'm in a similar situation but I don't think of it as a problem.  I work from my home and never go into the office now.  While I have stopped buying work type clothes, I still buy a lot of casual clothes.  I still buy a lot of jewelry from ShopLC too.  I have the tv on while I work and I have tendancy to click over to my shopping channels during commercial breaks.  So, I see more than I did in the past.  This weekend, I cleaned out all my closets and found too many things that I never wore or only wore once or twice.  I am a recreational shopper.  However, it doesn't have any negative effects on my life so I can't consider it to be a problem.  I put almost all my shopping channel purchases on a designated debit card so I am essentially paying cash.  I still take care of all my other financial responsibilities.  I think you have to  decide for yourself if your shopping really is a problem.   

[Puppy Lips]

Sorry you are dealing with this.  I too buy more than I need, though not to your extent.  With every purchase I tell myself that that is the last one for awhile, only to turn around and order something a few days later.  I rarely buy anything from the stores.  QVC is literally about 85% of my closet.

For me I think is is the thrill of getting something delivered to my home and then trying it on to see if I like it and how it will fit in my wardrobe.  I do return things I am not thrilled with.  I have two dresses to go back at the moment.  I shop mostly while watching QVC, but will look at lunchtime and primetime specials on my phone.  I am slowly breaking the TV habit though, and some of the newer hosts are helping me break that habit.  There are other things to watch, and it is no big deal if I miss out on something great.  I have plenty to wear.

Good luck to you and I hope you can help yourself or get some outside help.  Feel free to share on these boards if you get any insight, as I know some of us (me included) would be interested to find out what you learn.

[Mom2Dogs]

@Snowhite714 ...I like clothes as well but do not spend what I do not have... I also only work 3 days a week, and do not need a lot of clothing anymore and thank goodness everything fits.....for me in order to declutter, not just clothes, I had a goal of moving....(which never happened) and when going thru clothing, drawers, closets I always asked my self, do I want to to take this item to the new place.  It was a simple process for me, others may have struggled and it's a process I enjoyed doing.  I love opening a drawer, closet, etc and finding it empty.

I also sold some gold jewerly that I no longer wore, I have no kids and thought why leave it to my estate, I can enjoy the cash now or save the money, which I did.  I loved seeing my bank account increase...maybe that would be an incentive for you...don't purchase and save some money for retirement.

If you find you really struggle then you probably do need some 'help'.....the other poster was correct, we do things sometimes to fill a void.  If that is you find what that void is and fill it....I wish you great success....