Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,041
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Yes, you are overreacting.  I'm on a strict meal replacement diet myself and I take my food with me when I go to friend's homes.  Most of them know but once or twice a hostess has forgotten or thought the diet was over.  No has ever resented that I wasn't going to eat the food they prepared.  They've been gracious about letting me use the microwave and even the blender.  They are friends and we meet o socialize...the food is incidental.  I don't drink but sometimes I drink wine....sometimes I don't.  I can't imagine any hostess becoming upset because I didn't care to drink her lovely rose to today.  Perhaps the meal replacement girls should have given you heads up before they did but I don't think it's a big deal. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@cherry wrote:

I think a day in advance was rude. I have dietary restrictions and I would have told you when you invited me

 

The wine not so much, some people don't drink. I have never heard of giving up wine for the month of Jan, that sounds strange.  If you drink, you usually drink


 

 

ITA. Only one day in advance IS thoughtless towards a hostess, period. Just me, but I would say 5 days in advance at least.

 

Yes, some people don't drink and that's fine; I think if I knew that most of the attendees routinely didn't drink, i.e. only a couple of people did, I wouldn't bother serving wine. But saying they weren't drinking "for the month of January" sounds bizarre. It's not Lent. It sounds like they spent December plastered and thought they'd better detox in January.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,041
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@Vivian Florimond wrote:

In my opinion you are not at fault. There are just so many accommodations hosts should be expected to make. Beyond that, it becomes absurd. You are not running a health food restaurant. You do the best you can. I am a lifetime Weight Watchers member. When I've been invited to dinner and I'm watching my diet, I make the best of it. My dietary needs are not the problem of my host. Any accommodation is a favor. 

 

Her friends didn't ask her to prepare special meals for them.  They said they were bringing their own special meals. 


 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,490
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@catmama

 

It is so hard for people to stay on their diets and all these places tell them to let your friends know your needs.  Also giving up something should not be a problem and everyone may fall off their diet and get back to drinking and eating everything but you need to support their best intentions.

 

Maybe they could have given you more notice but let it go.  Next time plan your party accordly and lesson learned.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,041
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@151949 wrote:

If these are good friends I would have said - I wish you would have told me before today for cripes sake! Ok more for the rest of us. 

The wine thing - I have nothing to say about that - seems pretty goofy.


 

      I never understand these people who have "friends" but apparently they don't actually talk to them about anything and what's up with a level of formality that Queen Elizabeth would find silly amongst good "friends"?  I don't get it.  I agree with you, I would have just said "and you couldn't have told me this last week??"   And then I would have laughed and said "bring your food but you have to heat it up and plate it yourself".  If she'd just been honest and open with her friends, OP wouldn't be lugging all that resentment around now. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@hopi wrote:

@catmama

 

It is so hard for people to stay on their diets and all these places tell them to let your friends know your needs.  Also giving up something should not be a problem and everyone may fall off their diet and get back to drinking and eating everything but you need to support their best intentions.

 

Maybe they could have given you more notice but let it go.  Next time plan your party accordly and lesson learned.


 

 

Next time, the OP might want to opt out of hosting - or tell the *next* hostess about HER dietary "restrictions" the day before that dinner and see how it goes over.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Moonchilde@cherry, I agree.  One day in advance is rude.  I don't drink and a lot of people are this way so no big deal about that.  Make a punch or something.  If I were the guest, I would be making my way around the food without making last minute demands on the host.

 

Don't let this throw your game.  Next time it's your turn to host, ask in advance if anyone has any special needs.  If they don't speak up, it's on them.  LM

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,940
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

If one is unwilling to eat what a host has prepared than she should decline the invitation. Bringing food, unless it's a pot luck, is unacceptable; there is no excuse.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:

If one is unwilling to eat what a host has prepared than she should decline the invitation. Bringing food, unless it's a pot luck, is unacceptable; there is no excuse.


I would rather explain  my situation to the hostess , than have her think I didn't want to attend. It's not a matter of being unwilling  to eat what is prepared, but a matter of can't eat certain foods

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

@occasionalrain wrote:

If one is unwilling to eat what a host has prepared than she should decline the invitation. Bringing food, unless it's a pot luck, is unacceptable; there is no excuse.


I love pot luck dinner's and also the BYOB thing, that way nobody is put out and you get to try all the different foods and you don't have the expense of buying alcohol. No you are not being sensitive, your friends are just taking advantage of your friendship.