@CatLoverDogsToo wrote:
"@Mominohio I completely agree with you. To add: parents need to be parents, not "friends". Teachers need to be teachers, not parents in absentia, or "psychologist/social workers" dealing with horrendous behavior.
You said:
"My son is now 21, and we didn't allow any social media for him until he was 17. He avoided a lot of the drama that goes on during middle and high school, and actually was grateful to us after he did start to participate, that we had kept him out of it for so long."
"One of the first things parents have to do is cut the technology use, and monitor heavily what they do allow."
That is exactly what I did with my two children, now adults. I did not give them a cell phone until they started high school, and the phone was a basic "no frills, no text, no internet" phone, for emergencies only. They did not have access to Facebook until they were in their junior year. I monitored internet at home and neither of them had a computer in their bedroom. We had a central computer they used.
My daughter now teaches second grade in a Title1 school where all the children are considered "poor". All get free breakfast, lunch and dinner. All school supplies are provided by the school district as well as backpacks and many other free things for them and their parents. These "families" are on public assistance. These same children come into school with iPhones, designer clothes, all the latest gadgets. What they never come to school with are school supplies or completed homework. Very few are there to learn, and the few that are cannot because the disruptive ones make it impossible. They physically fight with others to include punching and kicking the teachers. One actually made a "shank" intending to stab his fourth-grade teacher. The school district does not discipline these kids and the teachers are not allowed to "speak harshly to them" or send them to the office for discipline. It is all about "understanding" and "loving" and worrying about their self-esteem.
There are 22 - 26 of these kids in a classroom. If one is being violent, the other 21-25 kids must leave the classroom, while the violent one gets to destroy the classroom. This is the district and principal's policy, not my daughter's. There is a no violence or bullying policy, but it is not followed at all from what I have observed. The kids bully the teachers and when they walk off school grounds, violent fights take place continuing what went on during lunch or hall skirmishes..
She has tried to transfer out of the school, but because she is an award-winning teacher that administration "loves" because she is so effective, she cannot get out of that school. Her principal will not let her go. She is now considering leaving teaching next year because of all of this.
To her credit, she does manage to improve these kids scores every year. She does get the kids that come in at the beginning of the year unable to read, reading near their grade level when they leave her, or she gets them in special education. But she is in danger every day.
One wonders how a child gets to second through fifth grade and beyond unable to read. What a mess we have.
"I needed to rant, because I have spent the whole summer helping paint and decorate her classroom for the coming year, knowing these children will come in and destroy everything as they do every year. Every summer she spends $1500 on her classroom to make it beautiful for the kids in the hope that they will want to take care of the nice environment."
edited for typo
Wow @CatLoverDogsToo
Your daughter is sorely needed where she is, but I can see that she can't even begin to be effective because of the lack of support from administration. And I'm afraid this is the case in many more districts across the nation.
I honestly don't know how we have gotten to the place where so many schools are such a failing place, other than the ever unpopular and politically incorrect notion that the breakdown of the family unit, where kids are supposed to be taught first, has crumbled in this country.
It used to be about poverty, but so many 'rich' district schools are facing similar issues, as parents are too wrapped up in their own lives and relationships they don't parent first.
So as not to be accused of including 'all' in this view, we all know great families, great teachers, nice and wonderful kids and even school districts that are performing wonderfully and turning out smart and engaged students.
It's just that I believe there are fewer of them all the time.
Oh and your first paragraph is profound.
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