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Super Contributor
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Registered: ‎09-12-2015

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

I got an invitation that stated "Greenbacks ONLY".  Sort of soured me on any wedding gifts.  When I questioned it, I was told they already had everything they needed.  I replied that they then wouldn't miss anything I could provide.  Such a greedy culture.  A gift used to mean something given from the heart.  Now it seems to be considered an entitlement to the extent that the (possible) recipient feels permitted to dictate the terms.  So sad.

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Registered: ‎03-28-2015

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

Fondue pot

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,453
Registered: ‎03-19-2014

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

It''s something from their registry or cash/gift card.

 

I didn't even know there was such a thing as an egg poacher....LOL!  I don't eat poached eggs though and whenever I am watching a cooking show, it's always made in some sort of regular sauce pan.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
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Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

I'll never forget what my brother, normally a pragmatic person, said to me at his son's wedding years ago.  I wrote a check for $100 and put it in a lovely card.  When the bride and groom finally came around to the back of the room (just once, as we had been seated right next to the exit door, because she had a huge family), he remarked that "$100 is nothing anymore."  They had already collected my envelope and left so I couldn't retrieve it (I would have).

 

Each of my girls, all still struggling with college debt and just starting to work full time had given $50, so that was a total of $300 from my family.  Also I had given the bride a pair of beautiful crystal candlesticks at her shower.

 

As I said, this was many years ago . . . it must be much worse by now.  And it made me recall that at my wedding in 1961, we had received dishtowels and aluminum trays and the like for our wedding presents.  I don't recall getting any money from anyone.  And we were grateful for what we got, we never thought twice about it.  And there were no gift registries then either . . . at least not in our area.

 

My beautiful wedding gown, hand sewn by the best Italian dressmakers in the area, cost $150.  Our entire wedding cost slightly over $2,000 and it had all the bells and whistles required for the times.

 

I won't go into detail about what my four daughters' weddings cost in the eighties, except that none of them exceeded $5,000, I made two of the bridal dresses, plus my own mother's outfits, plus the dresses of the flower girls.  They did get money in those days, but certainly $100 was considered generous (and rare).

 

I haven't been to a wedding in a very long time . . . my adult grandchildren seemingly have no interest in getting married any time soon.  But I hear about $50,000-$75,000 weddings these days where the parents put mortgages on their homes to pay for them.  I can't imagine what an acceptable cash gift would be.  OMG!

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,549
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

Business card for a good Divorce Lawyer. Smiley Wink

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,119
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

[ Edited ]

@LilacTree wrote:

I'll never forget what my brother, normally a pragmatic person, said to me at his son's wedding years ago.  I wrote a check for $100 and put it in a lovely card.  When the bride and groom finally came around to the back of the room (just once, as we had been seated right next to the exit door, because she had a huge family), he remarked that "$100 is nothing anymore."  They had already collected my envelope and left so I couldn't retrieve it (I would have).

 

Each of my girls, all still struggling with college debt and just starting to work full time had given $50, so that was a total of $300 from my family.  Also I had given the bride a pair of beautiful crystal candlesticks at her shower.

 

As I said, this was many years ago . . . it must be much worse by now.  And it made me recall that at my wedding in 1961, we had received dishtowels and aluminum trays and the like for our wedding presents.  I don't recall getting any money from anyone.  And we were grateful for what we got, we never thought twice about it.  And there were no gift registries then either . . . at least not in our area.

 

My beautiful wedding gown, hand sewn by the best Italian dressmakers in the area, cost $150.  Our entire wedding cost slightly over $2,000 and it had all the bells and whistles required for the times.

 

I won't go into detail about what my four daughters' weddings cost in the eighties, except that none of them exceeded $5,000, I made two of the bridal dresses, plus my own mother's outfits, plus the dresses of the flower girls.  They did get money in those days, but certainly $100 was considered generous (and rare).

 

I haven't been to a wedding in a very long time . . . my adult grandchildren seemingly have no interest in getting married any time soon.  But I hear about $50,000-$75,000 weddings these days where the parents put mortgages on their homes to pay for them.  I can't imagine what an acceptable cash gift would be.  OMG!


The one I am going to on the 16th we put a limit of $70,000.00.  I work for the family for decades and the bride's mother wants to spend the same amount on her daughter's wedding that was spent on her son's law degree.  Not the same.  The wedding will not make any income but being an attorney will. 

The Bride's Mom/The Widow now does not see it that way.  My deceased boss would be horrified to see how a chunk of his life ins. was being spent (there would not be nearly this much $$ if he had not died he was tight).  His brother the Executor of the Estate and my new boss these past three years tried to explain but his niece wants the wedding.  Country Club Wedding and all all the trimmings.  Oh well.  

I still have some of my Mom's wedding gifts from her and my Dad's wedding on Dec. 23, 1960.  Silver, platters, and such.  I love them so and bring out for special occasions.

 

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,958
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?


@Nataliesgramma wrote:

Fondue pot


HAHAHA, they are awful!!  Almost every bride got one years ago!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,606
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

The last wedding I actually attended was in 1987; very simple and down to earth, and cost about $2,000.   Formal church ceremony at noon, and reception at the local VFW, with great food.  Very frugal bride.

 

The last wedding I was invited to, but did not attend, was a huge event, and cost over $25,000.   Formal evening wedding, hotel reception with sit down meal, big party, and $4,000 spent just for alcohol.   That was 3 years ago, and the marriage is already over, because the bride did not "find marriage exciting".   

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Posts: 2,796
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

test note

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,796
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: What is one gift now you wouldn't give as a wedding gift?

Money . How dull and unimaginative.

 

I know it's what people want today.

 

But 30, 40, 50 years go by, and you look lovingly at something given at your wedding....and remember the day, or the uses of that item....and I'm talking FINE items like china, crystal or silver.....not fondue pots or egg poachers.

 

Who remembers a check, that probably went to pay a bill?