Wellness

[CouponQueen]

As long as You ..the host is not an alcoholic...or in recovery..and you have not told them you do not want alcohol in the house.

Is it anybody drinking alcohol in your home or just your brother because you preceive him to have a problem?

You also cannot force somebody to stop drinking..If you think he is an alcoholic..he will just sneak it outside the home or in his room..in the car..in the garage et c.

She can't force anybody into a program or call a program for somebody who does not admit they have a problem.

It is easy for others to say kick him out..don't let him in..etc..but when it is your family and they need a helping hand you do what you do because you love them and they are your family.

I just read a few other posts. He has a career in Special Ed and can't find a job. Unfortunately Teaching jobs are really hard to come by due to School Systems laying so many off due to budget issues. He may need to try a developmental school that is primarily for the developmentally disabled..sometimes they house/live on Campus ..many get their start that way.

[LilacTree]

My beloved sister lived with me for several years when she and her husband separated. She smoked almost two packs a day, and she downed at least a six-pack of beer every day as well. What little money she received from SS, she spent on these two items rather than meds she was supposed to take.

She had already been diagnosed and surgery was performed to remove a huge malignant polyp from her colon. Yet she continued her habits, and even seemed to increase her intake.

We fought a lot because I kept asking her if she was seeing the doctor for checkups on the state of the colon cancer. She told me he said she was cured. But I knew better, I knew she had decided right then and there that she would rather just die of cancer than alter her lifestyle.

She had to leave when the crash in 2008 made it impossible for me to keep my home. She was unable to help me financially (which I was okay with) but I was somewhat miffed that her children would not help me. I had to live temporarily with one of my girls. My sister's kids were mad at her and wouldn't help her.

She went back up to Sussex County and lasted, believe it or not, six more years. She finally found a small apartment where she could pay the rent after her SS increased when her husband started receiving and it was ruled he had to give her a certain amount of it.

Then Stage IV lung cancer was discovered, huge masses in both lungs, and she was too far gone and much too weak for any kind of treatment. She died six months later in hospice three and one half years ago. She smoked the day before she went into her final coma. It is a tragedy I will never recover from.

The question is why did I let her live with me? She was my sister and had nowhere to go. And I loved her. That is my only excuse.

[Perkup]

Not if they plan to stay for more than four hours. We don't have any alcohol in the house except for a couple of bottles for cooking, and I don't want any around. Spent enough time in my earlier years fighting with people who couldn't leave it alone. Don't plan to spend my last years doing the same.

If they must drink, there are dozens of hotels nearby.

[qualitygal]

On 3/18/2015 Ford1224 said:

My beloved sister lived with me for several years

The question is why did I let her live with me? She was my sister and had nowhere to go. And I loved her. That is my only excuse.

Bless your heart Ford. You have answered your own question. You loved her, she was your sister and you, my dear, are a very good person. You don't need any excuses for your kindness to someone you loved.

[scotnovel]

My brother and his wife were here just this past weekend. I hadn't seen him for years and had never met her. I seldom drink and didn't drink any alcohol when they were here. However, when I found out they could stop here on their way home from vacation, I asked them what they liked to drink and I bought that so it would be available for them. They are adults and can drink what they like, they did not get drunk, they weren't driving and drinking, and they didn't care that I had iced tea instead of alcohol. We had a very enjoyable visit. His lifestyle isn't exactly like mine, but I don't judge his and he doesn't judge mine. It was just nice to see him.

[LilacTree]

On 3/18/2015 qualitygal said:

On 3/18/2015 Ford1224 said:

My beloved sister lived with me for several years

The question is why did I let her live with me? She was my sister and had nowhere to go. And I loved her. That is my only excuse.

Bless your heart Ford. You have answered your own question. You loved her, she was your sister and you, my dear, are a very good person. You don't need any excuses for your kindness to someone you loved.

OMG, thank you, qualitygal, for your kind understanding.

[chickenbutt]

I'm late to the party but my answer to the question would be - it depends on what rules/limits were set at the onset of them moving in. That would determine if there are any things I would NOT want the person to do while living in my house.

Obviously, if there were some specific things I wouldn't want the person to do in my house I would have set it up that way. If they agree to the rules of MY house, then - welcome. If not, then there is no deal. If they don't play by the rules, as also set up in the beginning, out they go.

All that said I have to just say *whew* that I don't have to worry about that happening since we have almost no family between us. I don't think I could deal with it, no matter who it was.

[judgejudith]

My older brother is an alcoholic and I draw the line that I will not purchase his alcohol.

If your brother is not doing any damage to your house or is not hurting you then I believe you cannot change him. If you did not establish the rules prior to him moving in, it will be difficult to establish the rule now. Also, I would rather he drink in your home than drive home from a bar.

[drizzellla]

Ford1224 - how are you doing now? Sorry to hear you lost your house and sadder to hear how things went with your sister and her kids.

Wonder how things are going with the OP.

[AuntG]

Having a drink, fine. Drinking to excess, not in my house.