Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,765
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: Reflections on good doctors and not so good

@Seannie wrote:

Hot Street, I totally agree.  Your post made me so sad for the pain to your family

which was caused by people not doing their jobs as they should have.

You, dear, have suffered huge losses and I am sending you a tender hug.





What a heartfelt and kind post!    Your post made me cry in a good way.  I'm often badgered and bullied on this site for my comments and opinions.   Thank you for understanding and coming on here to share your caring and dear heart.


Bless you!!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,772
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Reflections on good doctors and not so good

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

Generally speaking, I want my doctors to be extremely COMPETENT, and personality is truly secondary.  That is not to say that I will excuse incomplete or faulty care.  


I think it's important, whenever possible, to look up ratings on your physician(s).   


My rheumatologist is always listed in the annual Who's Who of Top Doctors in Los Angeles.    She is a godsend.    


In your case, just move on.    Selecting doctors, like any profession, can be a process of trial and error.   It is what it is.

Most of those Who's Who and Top Ten List are paid for by the Doctor, Attorney, Dentist etc. The amount of publicity the doc receives and the size of the trophy depends upon the amount paid. 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Reflections on good doctors and not so good

[ Edited ]

This is my general advice:

Having dealt with many physicians during my parents declining health, I agree with the original poster.


One thing everyone needs when visiting a physician is an 'advocate.' I would never EVER recommend that someone visit a hospital or doctor, even a routine visit, without another person being there taking notes and asking questions. If you need to pay someone to be there, do it.  Advocates only become exponentially more important as the illness becomes more serious.


Although I was there for my parents, i see a real trend in my co-horts who seem to drop their parents off in a care-facility or "mostly ignore" them in their older age. I'm watching this in action now with a half-sister/cousin situation. It infuriates me.  I've also stopped interacting with certain friends who have put their own well being "beyond" first. Ie: Buying designer accessories and international vacations while their parents are on welfare and can't pay heating bills and then having to listen to them b---- about how they have to help them, while also carrying the latest LV purse. PL-EASE.  Those 'friendships' are done (after giving them a piece of my mind.)


I think that professional nurses need to start selling their services as professional 'advocates.'  Who really understand how the medical system works and can help patients who aren't being supported by knowledgeable and invested friends or family. 


Please don't leave your family members to deal with the medical system alone. Please be there to support them and get involved with their long term care.  I have seen individuals (doctors/nurses,) and organizations (hospitals,) make HUGE mistakes and if I hadn't caught those, it would have been bad. You need to double check them but introduce yourself (and behave,) as a 'team player' for the patient, and that you're on their side to help. But also watch, listen and take notes like a hawk. Don't be afraid to speak up at the drop of a hat.  (Many patients won't speak up on their own for fear of retribution, being ignored or getting treated badly. And guess what: many spiteful and childish nurses and medical players behave exactly in that fashion. So be prepared.)


The medical system is too varied and complicated to negotiate all on your own and get decent treatment. Please always have someone else involved as your advocate or advocate for others.  Know your options! For instance, every hospital I've been in has a patient advisor who will get involved with disputes or problems with medical care. Get their name and direct number as soon as you enter, so you can call them as needed.


And have your medical plans and contact numbers and info in your phone, in your wallet, and files in a known location that others can access (same with all important documents, papers, etc.)


If you have not gotten your important papers done and all in one place, check out Suze Orman's system here. Its inexpensive and FABULOUS. Highly recommend it. I got it for everyone and its come in handy at least once where I had to grab the materials from a friend's place in an emergency and bring them to her during a very serious family medical emergency. It made a HUGE difference in everyone staying calm and getting through it.


Ok, off soapbox.


But in summary!

Be aware and take ACTION as needed.  In all aspects. And if you're not prepared, stop reading this thread and get prepared, thank you Smiley Happy


[Ok, Suze Orman's Protection Portfolio is no longer available here. I spent less than $50 for my version. You may find it on ebay or at your local PBS station drive (just call up membership and see if they're offering any.) I do see she sells it for three times that price from her website, but there must be other options.  She offers a lot of free info there and you can put together your own for less too!]