Wellness

[lulu2]

On 9/10/2014 LipstickDiva said:

On 9/9/2014 lulu2 said:

There is no easy answer to that question. We hate to see our loved ones suffer so there are times we welcome their death. When a loved one leaves us suddenly, we feel cheated we were not given a chance to say good bye.

In July we had a 4 generation family trip to Ireland. The flight over I sat next to my 90 year old father. The second day there he died in his sleep. I brought him home in my carry-on. We should all be so lucky to live to be 90 with few bouts of sickness. That does not make my grief any easier to bear.

lulu, this is just awful. I'm very sorry.

I recently lost an aunt who was like a second mother to me. She too was 90. She was fairly recently diagnosed with cancer and had a myriad of other health issues. So while she was suffering greatly at the end and we didn't want her to suffer anymore, it was still a very hard loss.

Thank you, LipstickDiva. Little things make you laugh and cry. I missed him terribly at last Saturday night's game. I know he was loving it.

I am sorry for the loss of your dear aunt. We have to believe our loved ones are in a better place and we will one day see them again.

[adoreqvc]

My Dear Violann,

Thank you for your very kind words Violann.

I have had enough grief journeys to build my own stairway to Heaven. Losing everyone and being an orphan makes one wonder why am I left abandoned by all those I knew and loved so much?

We know we are placed here for a reason and only God above knows what that is....so hang on my friend because eventually your tears will become acceptance, and it will be easier at the end of the journey, I promise.

How are you feeling now?......I hope you have more good than difficult very sad days.

The grief and the tears come in waves when least expected as you probably do know, so have your tissues close by, drink and hydrate well, and eat....even smaller meals like 6 small meals a day if you can't eat three regular size meals. You must keep your strength up.

If you have not yet please do call your Physician, Priest, and make appt. for grief group therapy as I noted in the posts above. You will eventually get through this Violann, and in time eventually come to the 5th stage of your grief journey.

I will check back more often so please continue to reply, and before I leave for our continued trips abroad I will post and advise here on this thread.

God Bless you dear friend, and I am sending prayers, and plenty cyber hugs and many blessings to you, and wish you only the best......always!

[adoreqvc]

Please accept my deepest condolences Rottie_mama,

Many times when people commit suicide with no warning it is a desperate act.
Usually a botched suicide is a call for help. When they receive that help and meds, they begin to understand that the depression they feel and the sadness, or loss of will to live is a temporary state brought on by various problems....in these instances many times they survive and get well, but still need continuous therapy counseling and medications.

For the really depressed which may or may not show since some really hide it so well...they have a death wish brought on by various factors which may include the following:

The complete hatred of continuing to live for depression reasons, very painful illnesses, losing a loved one, lack of friends or employment....it could be a number of anything mentioned....or just the fact that they do not wish to continue living anymore. That is when they will chose an act of successful suicide where they know they will be totally successful achieving instantaneous death with no chance of survival.

It is very sad, but many times the outward appearance does not display any issues at all, so we have no clues whatsoever, and when they interact they seem perfectly normal. (Many totally hide their suicidal thoughts and depression very well when interacting with others).

There are no answers as to what we should have done, which we did not do.....If they wanted others to know their attempts would be botched and unsuccessful, as that is their way of alerting everyone that it is a failed suicide for a reason, and that is their cry for help.

All you can do is pray for her because now her earthly suffering has ended.
I will include you in my daily healing prayers and hope you take the time and read the entire delayed grief thread which gives much insight. It is listed under health and fitness. You can easily find it by doing a search up above. Chose health and fitness from the choices and underneath that type in delayed grief and the thread should display. Please read it in it's entirety as it will help you so very much.

I asked QVC to reopen it so they will leave it open if there is activity and a need for others to read and receive replies, as well as understand the many contributions so many members have made to that thread to help others also grieving.

Please just post something on it so QVC will see it is still needed. I personally asked they reopen comments which they had closed.

I hope this communication answers some questions as I also used to assist those who were dying, and know the suffering and pain of illnesses, and feeling lost when your family abandons you and never comes by to visit you ever again.

[adoreqvc]

On 9/9/2014 lulu2 said:

On 9/8/2014 violann said: Dear ones, this may have been mentioned previously, but I'm having one of my "bad mornings" (I think you all know.....) Anyway, are sudden losses always worse? My latest was relatively well at the beginning of March and died April 7. I'm still feeling absolutely blind sided. Just can't seem to move forward yet. I think of you all and hope we will all soon start progressing forward, however slowly.

There is no easy answer to that question. We hate to see our loved ones suffer so there are times we welcome their death. When a loved one leaves us suddenly, we feel cheated we were not given a chance to say good bye.

In July we had a 4 generation family trip to Ireland. The flight over I sat next to my 90 year old father. The second day there he died in his sleep. I brought him home in my carry-on. We should all be so lucky to live to be 90 with few bouts of sickness. That does not make my grief any easier to bear.

Dear lulu2,

I am so sorry for the loss of your father, and he was very blessed to live to 90 without serious painful illnesses. It is a comfort but I know it does not lessen the pain and loss.....only time will make it somewhat more bearable.

We will always keep them alive in our memories, hearts, watching family video's, displaying their photographs, and many keep the ashes at home and find that also comforting.

I also hope you will also find the Delayed Grief by Ravgirl thread, as it contains information which is so valuable to everyone who has lost someone.

[adoreqvc]

For those interested I hope you take the time and read the entire Delayed Grief thread by Ravgirl which gives much insight into our numerous shared grief journeys and other valuable information, especially the 5 steps of grief.

It is listed under health and fitness. You can easily find it by doing a search up above. Chose health and fitness from the choices and underneath that type in delayed grief and the thread should display. Please read it in it's entirety, as it will help so very much.

Also I personally emailed and requested QVC to reopen that thread since it is very much needed and helps everyone come to better terms and understanding as they encounter their own grief journey(s).

QVC read it and email replied that yes they agreed it was a very informative, sensitive wonderful thread, and they would re-open the comments so anyone could post again and receive advisements and help from others.

QVC will leave it open if there is activity, so please just post something on that thread instead of this thread, so they will see it is still needed and keep it going.

I will reply there as well since it needs to remain active and not again stating the period for comments has been closed.

[Rottie_mama]

On 9/11/2014 adoreqvc said:

Please accept my deepest condolences Rottie_mama,

Many times when people commit suicide with no warning it is a desperate act.
Usually a botched suicide is a call for help. When they receive that help and meds, they begin to understand that the depression they feel and the sadness, or loss of will to live is a temporary state brought on by various problems....in these instances many times they survive and get well, but still need continuous therapy counseling and medications.

For the really depressed which may or may not show since some really hide it so well...they have a death wish brought on by various factors which may include the following:

The complete hatred of continuing to live for depression reasons, very painful illnesses, losing a loved one, lack of friends or employment....it could be a number of anything mentioned....or just the fact that they do not wish to continue living anymore. That is when they will chose an act of successful suicide where they know they will be totally successful achieving instantaneous death with no chance of survival.

It is very sad, but many times the outward appearance does not display any issues at all, so we have no clues whatsoever, and when they interact they seem perfectly normal. (Many totally hide their suicidal thoughts and depression very well when interacting with others).

There are no answers as to what we should have done, which we did not do.....If they wanted others to know their attempts would be botched and unsuccessful, as that is their way of alerting everyone that it is a failed suicide for a reason, and that is their cry for help.

All you can do is pray for her because now her earthly suffering has ended.
I will include you in my daily healing prayers and hope you take the time and read the entire delayed grief thread which gives much insight. It is listed under health and fitness. You can easily find it by doing a search up above. Chose health and fitness from the choices and underneath that type in delayed grief and the thread should display. Please read it in it's entirety as it will help you so very much.

I asked QVC to reopen it so they will leave it open if there is activity and a need for others to read and receive replies, as well as understand the many contributions so many members have made to that thread to help others also grieving.

Please just post something on it so QVC will see it is still needed. I personally asked they reopen comments which they had closed.

I hope this communication answers some questions as I also used to assist those who were dying, and know the suffering and pain of illnesses, and feeling lost when your family abandons you and never comes by to visit you ever again.

Thank you so very much. I will read the thread when I get home. I guess I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head.
Thank you. I will include this y'all in my prayers as well. A prayer for peace for those struggling to get back up. Please do not ever give up.

[lulu2]

adoreqvc, how kind and caring of you to take the time to respond to each and every response. You are a most special person.

[adoreqvc]

Dear lulu2,

Thank you for your very kind words, and please if you desire lulu2, do join us on the Delayed Grief thread, as that will be the thread where I will be checking on while not traveling abroad.

Just click on the health an fitness category to the left, and you will see it display.

I would like to keep it active since QVC kindly reopened the commenting protocol for me after also viewing and reading all posts.

[adoreqvc]

To all my QVC....( pals and you know who you are), please come to the Delayed Grief thread under Health and Fitness, as I will be there and will keep checking.

I would like everyone who feels the desire to join in to also come and post there, so we can keep the Delayed Grief thread active. It will remain open allowing commentary, provided it is kept active with some posts and replies.

It has such a wealth of all our grief journeys, helping others, miracles which occurred, and of course the explanations of the grief journey itself, and the 5 steps of grief and what that entails.

I feel this thread is the most valuable to those who need support and comfort during the agonizing time of their initiation, and continuation, of their own grief journeys. Since there is no timeframe when it comes to grief, please feel free to post any time.

I hope my pals will come aboard again and I know if I leave for global travel with my husband, many of you will check on the delayed grief thread to see if others are in need of some kind words, understanding, comfort, prayers, and Delayed Grief journey support.

We have always helped each other, and I would like to think we all still care, and will continue to do so, on the Delayed Grief thread.

[shoekitty]

On 9/11/2014 Rottie_mama said:

Can I say this.

My best friend committed suicide a week ago. A woman who hated heights jumped out of a window. She was my best friend since college. My family thought of her as one of ours.

I have no answers. She was a NYC gal. I lived in So. Cal. and now Florida. I regret not dragging her out of that city and forcing her in to therapy.

It is surreal not being able to pick up the phone and chat, text a joke, or send a picture. How do you fill a void after 20+ years. I have experienced loss, it is part of my profession. It is the intentional act that bewilders and confounds me.

Does anyone ever figure it out? What did I miss?

My 41 year old daughter lost her best friend to suicide last year. It was violent, awful suicide which always is etched in her mind. She tells me all the time how she misses their nightly conversations, the txts, and fun. She holed up all last summer with the blinds drawn. IMO the people who suffer are those left behind to always wonder, "what if", "why" and and what they could have done. personally, there is nothing that could have been done. I think when they actually commit the ac the feelings of others are so far from their minds. But that is just an opinion of mine. I have had 2 cousins commit suicide. It is just so devastating. Because they aren't there to tell you why. We are left with unanswered questions.