QVC reopened the Delayed Grief Thread upon my request...Thank you QVC!!!

adoreqvc · ‎03-09-2010

I thanked QVC via email to their email reply that they reconsidered and decided this delayed grief thread should be reopened as many need help and understanding from others who have already posted on that thread.

As long as I am at home and not traveling abroad I will check it daily and reply as needed, but in my absence if my friends who I also helped on that thread could please also find a few seconds to just check the thread, and reply to anyone needing a response

I hope this Delayed Grief Thread again proves to be invaluable to those who are grieving, and may you all find comfort, acceptance, wisdom, and solace, from reading all the replies.

The information already posted really makes the difference in any grief journey.......especially the post I posted for the 5 steps of grief and what to expect.

adoreqvc · ‎03-09-2010

I also posted this information on the other grief thread but that reply is all the way in the back of the thread....I want to ensure this is read should anyone need grief support.

I kept checking the delayed grief thread to see if there have been any grieving visitor's, and do not know if I should feel relieved that no one has visited yet.

I do hope at this point in time no one is grieving and needs support....but somehow I find that to be impractical considering how many thousands of QVC participants there are on the bb's, both as guests and members.

Regardless I hope this delayed grief thread will remain active if someone really needs it, but if no one visits I am sure it will eventually close again, and even though QVC said I should contact them again to reopen it I probably will not. That thought that would make me so sad again, because this month is the 3rd year I lost my beloved husband of 45 years and 2 weeks to the day my beloved Mother also died.

They were both unexpected swift deaths and I never had the chance to say goodbye, until we meet again in Heaven, I love you.....I never had any closure.......just this big jumbo hole my heart, and that hole will always remain.

My point is I hope this thread does not close again due to inactivity this time.

I know in my heart others will eventually need it for all the experiences and wisdom so many of us have provided in all of our replies, to our own personal grief journeys as noted herein, and the wisdom we learned along the way as well as all the great QVC friends we encountered.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

Adore, good to hear from you and I will check in here frequently to see how everyone is doing.

What you just wrote: "They were both unexpected swift deaths and I never had the chance to say goodbye...." That's what is so difficult to get over. I don't think we get over the deaths, but we have to learn to adjust to them.

That's how I feel about my little sister's unexpected death when she died in my home in her sleep, one year ago. Oh, to just have one more hour with her to say goodbye......

adoreqvc · ‎03-09-2010

Hello biigsister,

ITA........Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you big hugs.

We have come a very, very long way on our grief journey's haven't we?

Thanks so much for checking this thread. I just hope it helps others as it really helped us, and hope it remains active.

I know how you feel.....I wish I could have all of them, back even if only for a second, wouldn't that be great!!!

You know I always felt that when the exited into that open door and were taken to Heaven all their earthly suffering ended, but that is when ours began.

The pain, the guilt, the loneliness, the abandonment, all of these emotions take a toll on those left behind. I believe not having closure with them is also a great pain that never subsides. (When a person loses all their immediate family and relatives it is very difficult to want to even try to go on....but we must, and we pray for the strength to continue to do God's earthly work.

As time and years pass yes we go on, but it does not mean we forgot or it has become easier for us.....We will never forget, and at times it still is not easier for us.

It signifys that we have hope. There is that saying and belief "Where there is life there is hope". We at least have hope bigsister. Through our religious beliefs in Jesus Christ, we will also enter Heaven, and be reunited with those we loved who just went a little ahead of us. They are smiling down and waiting patiently........after all Heaven is eternal and Father Time does not reside there.

Now every year as August approaches I become more sad as their anniversary approaches. Same with every holiday.......but as they say dear friend, life marches on and that blasted Father time does not slow down for anyone, or anything.

Still even getting remarried can not take away the sadness I feel for losing them all, and I truly love Philip, but they will always have a place in my mind, heart, and spirit.

This is a very sad month for me my friend.....but alas this too shall come and then the holiday rush begin....that is when I will be reading my Bible even more for wisdom and even more understanding and comfort.

Take good care bigsister and please know wherever my footsteps take me you will always remain in my heart....

lobstergal · ‎12-03-2010

Mine is not delayed grief as I've been grieving nonstop since my husband died unexpectedly in December. It's an unbearable pain that I know will never go away.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

On 8/10/2014 adoreqvc said:

Hello biigsister,

ITA........Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you big hugs.

We have come a very, very long way on our grief journey's haven't we?

Thanks so much for checking this thread. I just hope it helps others as it really helped us, and hope it remains active.

I know how you feel.....I wish I could have all of them, back even if only for a second, wouldn't that be great!!!

You know I always felt that when the exited into that open door and were taken to Heaven all their earthly suffering ended, but that is when ours began.

The pain, the guilt, the loneliness, the abandonment, all of these emotions take a toll on those left behind. I believe not having closure with them is also a great pain that never subsides. (When a person loses all their immediate family and relatives it is very difficult to want to even try to go on....but we must, and we pray for the strength to continue to do God's earthly work.

As time and years pass yes we go on, but it does not mean we forgot or it has become easier for us.....We will never forget, and at times it still is not easier for us.

It signifys that we have hope. There is that saying and belief "Where there is life there is hope". We at least have hope bigsister. Through our religious beliefs in Jesus Christ, we will also enter Heaven, and be reunited with those we loved who just went a little ahead of us. They are smiling down and waiting patiently........after all Heaven is eternal and Father Time does not reside there.

Now every year as August approaches I become more sad as their anniversary approaches. Same with every holiday.......but as they say dear friend, life marches on and that blasted Father time does not slow down for anyone, or anything.

Still even getting remarried can not take away the sadness I feel for losing them all, and I truly love Philip, but they will always have a place in my mind, heart, and spirit.

This is a very sad month for me my friend.....but alas this too shall come and then the holiday rush begin....that is when I will be reading my Bible even more for wisdom and even more understanding and comfort.

Take good care bigsister and please know wherever my footsteps take me you will always remain in my heart....

adore, once again, thank you for reaching out to me. I believe you and Philip truly love each other and you are on a new, happy journey. I also know that there is also a continuing sadness just under the surface, but its focus becomes dimmer, not extinguished, but dimmer. I send my love to you and Philip.

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

On 8/10/2014 lobstergal said:
Mine is not delayed grief as I've been grieving nonstop since my husband died unexpectedly in December. It's an unbearable pain that I know will never go away.

lobstergal, your grief is so new and raw and I feel the pain you are in. The unexpected death of your DH is what makes your grief so intense. There are just too many things we have to bear, i.e. "I wish I had," "I should have," "If only." The sadness and disbelief are always there. You just can't believe he is gone; it's not real. I believe that the "unbearable pain" you feel every minute of every day will become less unbearable as time goes on.

I am so sorry for your loss but I am glad you opened up to us here.

Oneanddone · ‎03-10-2010

I don't know what "delayed" grief is.

In 2006 I had a marriage of 20 years end and then I lost my whole family seven months later. I was 46 years old and left completely alone.

There was no delay in my grief.

It all hit me like a ton of bricks.

I think a very tall well constructed building falling on me would have been less painful.

I tried my best to stay strong but I ended up in the hospital two years later with a nervous breakdown.

Now I take Ativan every morning. I don't like that I have to take it, but I have to take it.

It balances out my brain because after all of the loss, my brain took a big hit.

I've since put the shattered pieces of my life together as best I can and I am still working on it and I am doing better than I ever thought I would.

But there are those days.

And the grief doesn't delay, it's there and it always will be.

Some grief lessens as time goes on, some doesn't.

Everyone handles grief differently.

Just pray, reach out for help when you need it...and you know when you need it...do the very best you can and take care of yourself.

Remember, you still have a life to live.

A life and a gift that God gave you.

He doesn't want you to give up, so don't give up.

Recognize your grief, cry when you need to, accept the bad days just as they are and know tomorrow is another day.

A brand new day, a new day to heal a little more. Even if you don't feel it, just look at it that way.

Also, don't ever forget, your loved ones who are not on this Earth anymore, love you.

They are always with you in your heart. You carry them in your heart every single day and night.

You grieve the loss because you love them and always will.

And what is better than love?

Nothing as far as I know.

adoreqvc · ‎03-09-2010

Hi Lobstergal,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear husband.

Please if you have not already do go to the beginning of the delayed grief thread and read the replies.

Many offer insight as to what to expect during the grief journey. Others offer real miracles they have read about which were published, as well as real life miracles they also personally witnessed along with others in the room.

The help and support system displayed in the delayed grief thread is miraculous. On that thread and everyone tries to support each other with understanding, compassion, kindness, wisdom, and a humane love for others, knowing they too share in the grief journey.

Even though this is the 3rd year anniversary for my Beloved Mother & Husband it is not ever easy....None of the holidays are.

Those who lost loved ones will always look at those places which held their plates and recall the shared laughter, joy, wisdom, and tears, all of us shared and our hearts and spirits still weep with loss.

Nothing and no one can ever replace them even though life does go on, and perhaps we also must move on, but the truth is for me I know I can never forget my first love, my first kiss, my first everything.........and that was with my husband of 45 years. Now I am building a new life with my new husband, but I will never forget my departed husband.

As for my beloved Mom yes she is gone but while she was here I had the best most wise loving kindest Mother and felt very blessed, as did my husband who also adored her....now it is as if I can still feel her watching over me at times.

This month she has come to me in my dreams more so than ever before....perhaps she knows August is the moth I lost her and my husband, and so she comes in my dreams to offer her comfort, and I recall the dream quite well when I awaken. It does comfort me.

I lost everyone and relatives too.....being an orphaned sole survivor is not fun...but I do believe when one door closes another opens for the departed and for the survivors.

We just have to have a belief system in a higher Creator who knows what is in store for us all, and believe that we will again see our loved ones when it is our time to travel into that Heavenly plane of eternal life and spiritual existence.

Lobstergal I always said take small steps and if you need to cry......cry.....no need to explain. We are humans and feel the loss and pain deep within our spirits so understand the process and eventually it hopefully will become a bit easier to bare....We all need to remember they are now pain free in a wonderful place as younger people without the burden of the outer shell of our earthly vessels. A place filled with religious love, loving angelic spirits that bring joy, and everyone reunited with their clan, pets & friends....now that is a glorious vision and one I do not fear to eventually become part of with God's Grace.

Tale good care Lobstergal.....and remember small steps lead to larger steps filled with never ending strength and wisdom.