Need advice on dealing with a bad patient/family i... - Page 7

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I think you have a family of drama queens who need to grow up. I managed to get through a complete hysterectomy while living alone with just a friend to drive me to the hospital. Hormones are not an excuse. They give the patient a big dose in the hospital and start on HRT.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I'll give you my two cents. 😀 When you take mom to the Dr on Tuesday, go with her into the room. I would repeat everything she said is ailing her and see what the Dr says. I don't think there's anything ailing her from the surgery. I had robotic surgery and was up and about the day after. I had to remind myself I had to take it easy. Granted everyone is different, but what you've shared doesn't sound like her issues are physical.

I would also cut back on the calls with the sisters until mom leaves. I'd take the high road and do whatever mom needs done. I'd treat her how I would want to be treated. I also would make this her last stay at my house. Next time she brings up the topic, tell her sorry the hotel isn't open. People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@GCR18wrote:
I'll give you my two cents. 😀 When you take mom to the Dr on Tuesday, go with her into the room. I would repeat everything she said is ailing her and see what the Dr says. I don't think there's anything ailing her from the surgery. I had robotic surgery and was up and about the day after. I had to remind myself I had to take it easy. Granted everyone is different, but what you've shared doesn't sound like her issues are physical.

I would also cut back on the calls with the sisters until mom leaves. I'd take the high road and do whatever mom needs done. I'd treat her how I would want to be treated. I also would make this her last stay at my house. Next time she brings up the topic, tell her sorry the hotel isn't open. People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.

@GCR18 I agree with you. I think this is an emotional shedding by everyone who has been scared to death for the better part of a month or so over the first major illness we've experienced with a parent and, of course on my mother's end, her first real encounter with her mortality.

As I told my sister, if she chooses to sit and feel sorry for herself, that's a choice and I'm not servicing that. You get through it and move on. Cry it out but don't wallow in drama. Had to do it myself just last summer with being frustrated with a broken arm and had a real health scare a year before that, twice.

And I would love to shut the door on all of this and have tried for the past two years in earnest. It's just not going to happen. She and others just show up and come on in. I am moving. I just need to figure out where.

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Why did you ever agree to have your Mom and her husband live at your house? There are many other solutions. She could go to a recovery center OR just go home. This is all so ridiculous!

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Group 5 minus 1wrote:
Why did you ever agree to have your Mom and her husband live at your house? There are many other solutions. She could go to a recovery center OR just go home. This is all so ridiculous!

I didn't agree but you just don't say no to your mother who is having her first major health crisis and she can't just go home. Her home is in FL and we are in GA six hours away. She and the husband refuse to get set up with doctors down that way so they are constantly driving up 6 hours every time they need to be checked for their various ailments. She couldn't jump in a car after having major abdominal surgery even though initially she thought she could after a few days.

I really think this is about other issues that she is dealing with in her life and I'm solving the problem and moving because I agree it's past ridiculous.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Your Mother had a hysterectomy not brain surgery! Within a few weeks she should be up & around , able to do her own personal care easily.She may require assistance with things like housework, but not her personal care. Is she handicapped in any other way? It really sounds like she is milking this for all she can get! If there are no complications like an infection or anything - she needs to be pushed to do for herself. Waiting on someone hand & foot after a simple surgery is the worst thing you can do - the more active she is the faster she'll be over this.

Karie2022 · ‎03-26-2010

Unless there are extenuating circumstances I’m not sure why she’s at your house recovering from a hysterectomy..I wouldn’t label that as a major illness. she has a home and a husband..having said that, I’m sure that kind of surgery messes with your hormones, some deal with it better than others...you said neither sister works, but runs their kids around...depending on their ages, if their school age, they don’t need to run them around til after school, they should be able to help out their mom during the day...I’d say your sisters need to step up, get her well enough to go back to her own home...good luck, families are never easy to deal with, and it always seems like there’s one kid who gets the brunt of taking care of mom and dad....

Take time every day to enjoy where you are without a need to fix it

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Laura14 Your mom needs to get medical care where she lives - why is she doing this? So you or one of the other sisters will "be there" if needed?

Just curious.

If you DO relocate, what about your job?

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@YorkieonmyPillowwrote:
@Laura14 Your mom needs to get medical care where she lives - why is she doing this? So you or one of the other sisters will "be there" if needed?

Just curious.

If you DO relocate, what about your job?

Exactly @YorkieonmyPillow. She didn't really want to move so she keeps coming back. They claim because it's FL the health care is not as personal as GA which I think is nonsense but it's their choice.

I am getting certified as a pharmacy tech shortly so I can work in any drugstore anywhere. I was planning on leaving the job I have in hospitality for the past 16 years because it's so not hospitable anymore.

maestra · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14wrote:
@GCR18wrote:
I'll give you my two cents. 😀 When you take mom to the Dr on Tuesday, go with her into the room. I would repeat everything she said is ailing her and see what the Dr says. I don't think there's anything ailing her from the surgery. I had robotic surgery and was up and about the day after. I had to remind myself I had to take it easy. Granted everyone is different, but what you've shared doesn't sound like her issues are physical.

I would also cut back on the calls with the sisters until mom leaves. I'd take the high road and do whatever mom needs done. I'd treat her how I would want to be treated. I also would make this her last stay at my house. Next time she brings up the topic, tell her sorry the hotel isn't open. People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.
@GCR18 I agree with you. I think this is an emotional shedding by everyone who has been scared to death for the better part of a month or so over the first major illness we've experienced with a parent and, of course on my mother's end, her first real encounter with her mortality.

As I told my sister, if she chooses to sit and feel sorry for herself, that's a choice and I'm not servicing that. You get through it and move on. Cry it out but don't wallow in drama. Had to do it myself just last summer with being frustrated with a broken arm and had a real health scare a year before that, twice.

And I would love to shut the door on all of this and have tried for the past two years in earnest. It's just not going to happen. She and others just show up and come on in. I am moving. I just need to figure out where.