Need advice on dealing with a bad patient/family i... - Page 11

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@Laura14wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillowwrote:
@Laura14 IMHO, this whole thing will follow you. One can't really outrun family situations.

If you still want to move okay but first, before you up and leave, I think you should deal with this situation by making boundaries - if not, you will have to make them later.

Do you know for sure you can support yourself elsewhere - and what about your family - are you going to tell them you are leaving?

@YorkieonmyPillow I've had the sit down about common courtesy and boundaries and it falls on deaf ears. Once I am out of the house in my own true place, no one is coming without my say so. That set up has always been respected. I've lived away before and they rarely came to see me and only did because they were in the area for other things.

The only reason this has gone on here is because her name is on title and my baby sister is down the street and my mother will not be barred from her own property even when leased whenever she wants to be there. I get it to a degree since I am her daughter and I've tried to set up boundaries with when and how as a matter of courtesy towards me but it's obvious that it will never be respected or enforced. I'm just not worthy of it in her mind and that's on me for putting up with it for so long.

My family has known of my desire to move away for a while now. I've made it clear I don't like GA and would rather be North again.

I actually just had a good conversation with a co-worker I don't see much anymore. He offered his references and whatever else he could do for me. He's kind of been following along with this drama of mine for years now and just looked at me and said, "As much as I am going to miss you, I think enough is enough."

It's going to be hard to start over somewhere. He just mentioned that he and another coworker have all moved to a small town a little bit aways from here. He suggested I move there and we could have a block party. It was so nice and took some stress off of me to actually be wanted someplace and appreciated. I almost forgot what that felt like for a while.

@Laura14: That hurt my heart. Yes, you are worthy just like everyone. I am happy to hear that you are planning on a move where you can take care of your own well being.

AspenGrove · ‎08-27-2013

@Laura14, I didn't read all 11 pages on this thread, but just wanted to share that when a friend had a hysterectomy a few years ago, within about a week after surgery she turned into an entirely different person. Everyone around her saw it. We (family and friends) reached out directly to her doctor to report her depression and anger and other odd behaviors we'd never seen before. The doc really appreciated us contacting her and immediately got my friend help -- thru a prescription to quickly re-balance her hormones, which had gone way out of whack, causing her altered behavior ... and having her do some sessions with a therapist who specialized in this very thing. Within a surprisingly short amount of time, my friend was back to her normal self and ended up healing from surgery quickly and going back to her happy, active life.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@AspenGrove Thank you. Several people have mentioned hormones and depression. I really think that's what it is, depression. Not sure about the hormone part since she is 67 but major surgery is major surgery. And the husband has never come back so I am going to guess that's a big part of it too.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Hoovermom Thank you. You know it's taken strangers and acquaintances on here and in person to finally have me say you all are right and enough is enough. Time to start taking care of me as well as I've taken care of others over my lifetime. I really appreciate the kind words.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Laura14wrote:
@AspenGrove Thank you. Several people have mentioned hormones and depression. I really think that's what it is, depression. Not sure about the hormone part since she is 67 but major surgery is major surgery. And the husband has never come back so I am going to guess that's a big part of it too.

Do you think your Mom plans on staying????

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@YorkieonmyPillowwrote:
@Laura14wrote:
@AspenGrove Thank you. Several people have mentioned hormones and depression. I really think that's what it is, depression. Not sure about the hormone part since she is 67 but major surgery is major surgery. And the husband has never come back so I am going to guess that's a big part of it too.


       Do you think your Mom plans on staying????

@YorkieonmyPillow It wouldn't surprise me. Before they moved to FL (allegedly), she was back and forth between the house and the house they shared here everytime they had a fight.

Her car is still down in FL so my honest guess is that he's probably been told to come back when the appointment is which should be sometime this week for the two week checkup. Best case scenario, she has her checkup and then drives away with him in a few days. Fingers crossed but I stocked up on bagels for my bedroom as I continue the prisoner diet of bread and water.

If he's not back at some point this week, then they are probably on the skids again and she'll make arrangements to get her car down there. Either way, I'm done with it and leaving.

It's better than a soap opera, isn't it?