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09-22-2019 10:17 AM - edited 09-22-2019 10:24 AM
09-22-2019 10:18 AM
This is an interesting thread. I used to cry a lot,but I hardly ever cry now. I cried when our Reilly died. I sometimes wish I could cry more.
My Daddy had dementia. That is a hard thing to deal with. I will never understand the awfulness of that illness.
Pinching yourself-don't get it? Can you explain more?
09-22-2019 11:42 AM
@Flatbush, you sound like a very sensitive human being that is just overwhelmed seeing your good friend losing a vital part of who she is. I am pretty sure that having some tears in your eyes will not affect your visit. Don't be too hard on yourself.
As someone who has great difficulty allowing my emotions to be seen, I think crying isn't such a bad thing.
09-22-2019 12:00 PM
@Flatbush So does this friend with advanced dementia know that you are there;.... or is she pretty much out of it? At this point there really is no reason to go and upset yourself if the person does not know who you are or it you are even in the room. Seems mean, but, you have realize that you do not need to put yourself out there for being so upset you are crying. That is not good for YOUR HEALTH.
Instead.... go to a beautiful place that you love and think about her as she was and send love to her. Just a nice walk will do... or sitting in your garden.
09-22-2019 12:13 PM
My sister is in a memory care facility. She's in her 50's and has a 17 and 20 year old. It's been a little over 2 years now. The 20 year old had a tough time with visits. He went once and hasn't been back since.
What makes you cry when you visit? Being at the facility? The other residents? The changes in your friend? At my sister's facilith, there is an option to meet her in a neutral area where you don't see other residents. Can you go more often, so you get used to the situation?
09-22-2019 12:31 PM
@GCR18 wrote:My sister is in a memory care facility. She's in her 50's and has a 17 and 20 year old. It's been a little over 2 years now. The 20 year old had a tough time with visits. He went once and hasn't been back since.
What makes you cry when you visit? Being at the facility? The other residents? The changes in your friend? At my sister's facilith, there is an option to meet her in a neutral area where you don't see other residents. Can you go more often, so you get used to the situation?
@GCR18 My heart goes out to you and your sister's children. Once you are admitted into the memory care/lock down unit the dementia is most likely advanced. She is so young, and the children are so young to have to deal with this. You lose your loved one twice with this disease. My prayers are with you and your family.
09-22-2019 12:46 PM
How kind and helpful of you, @Havarti , to take the time to give us the benefit of your experience. You have no need to apologize for the length of your post -- everything you said in it has great value.
09-22-2019 12:49 PM
Wear dark glasses
09-22-2019 01:01 PM
I saw something on tv a while back where the person (sorry, I forgot who) said that if you press your tongue up onto the roof of your mouth it can stop you from crying.
I wish the best for you and your friend.
As for just crying - I absoluetly hate crying (something leftover from my horrible childhood), just in general, so I look for ways to stifle it when I can.
09-22-2019 01:26 PM
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