Experience with Hospice - Page 5

mary0129 · ‎03-07-2019

My husband passed last December quietly and comfortably at home. My adult children wanted him at home and so they worked closely with the hospice staff to make that happen. We had lots of visitors, friends, neighbors and family in to say goodbye to him. I am very grateful to the hospice program for making his passing a loving event for us.

PilatesLover · ‎08-20-2014

I can't say enough good about Hospice. We got involved with them when my brother was dying of esophageal cancer.

Some of the things they helped us with included:

Guidance on getting a power of attorney so I could interact with the doctors and pick up his medications
A hairdresser came to his apartment and gave him a haircut and shave, and fussed over and pampered him. It makes me cry to remember that day and how he felt like his old self again.
I got to speak with a counselor a couple of times over some complicated emotional / behavioral issues.
Grief counseling for us afterward.

After he died we requested donations to the local Hospice chapter.

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

My mother had Hospice care during her final days. They were absolutely wonderful. This is not a job for these people; it is a special calling. Even though Mom was not conscious at that time, they were careful to advise everyone to think about what they were saying in her presence. When a person is dying, they said, hearing can still happen. Mom’s passing was quiet and peaceful.

My sympathy to all who have lost loved ones and talked about it here. It is a very hard time.

GiantsLover · ‎08-28-2018

Halo117 I am so sorry for what you are experiencing and my prayers go with you.

They also have hospice in Hospitals so you can speak to them if need be.

My beloved Mother died from organ failure and was blind from diabetes and completely paralyzed from a fall years before.

Everything hit me at once when I had to call for help and the ambulance to take her to the the ICU as she stopped drinking, taking her life sustaining meds, and stopped eating. She did speak and smiled a lot and we also prayed together.

She said she saw her dead parents, son, 2 daughters, a sister, and both sets of Grandparents standing by the foot of her bed, and they told her to get her life in order because God's Heavenly Angels would come for her soon, and bring her home to God in Heaven to join her departed loved ones awating her arrival.

This made me so sad but I did what she instructed and just had enough time to get everything done, and then when God called her home my heart broke.

I felt so lost because when the sacred mother daughter bond is severed earthly living loses some of its meaning. I grieved for 2 years day and night, lost 40 lbs and isolated myself until I finally sought medical help and counseling.

I was my Mothers care giver for over 25 years so I had a purpose every day and felt so blessed to be able to care for her, and arrange in home appointments with everyone to come and check her often.

Nevertheless when you lose you Mom for a long time I know I felt I had lost everything........Some days I still feel that way, but know she is at peace in Heaven with her loved ones just waiting for me to live my life on Earth, and then after finishing that earthly journey, to be called home to God's Heavenly Kingdom.......God Willing...

I do believe faith, religion, hope, and love, play a big part, as does final acceptance to accept what we cannot change, and find the inner strength to carry on, until we are again reunited with those we so loved and lost.

lulu1 · ‎03-29-2011

@conlt

I am sorry for what you are experiencing. I too believe HOSPICE workers are angels on Earth. They helped me through some of the most difficult times I have ever faced.

ginirn · ‎04-30-2010

Way too often Hospice is not called in until the very end of life. They can provide so much support if people were aware and sometimes resistant. They can give care and assistance way before the end easing the way for both the patient and family.

conlt · ‎03-16-2010

So far I have been a bit disappointed with the hospice that I chose. They promised pet therapy, music therapy, and massage. None of those has showed up in the 2 weeks my mother has been in hospice. I spoke to the nurse and she said they were ordered on admission. I have a number to call the social worker which I will do for some support. I go from being mentally OK to not being ok.

My mother is bed-bound now and hardly eating but is drinking. The assisted living is letting her stay there, and that is a great help because they turn and change her.

My sister and I spend hours upon hours a day trying to get her to eat/drink and just sit. I help the aides change her.

I am an RN who works in home health care, and I know the nurse who is her hospice nurse. Like many I think the nurses, because they know me professionally, think that I am able to do everything for her just like I do with other patients, however, she is my mother and taking care of her is so different than taking care of someone who is not a family member.

The nurse is leaving for another job on Friday so maybe we will get a nurse who does not know me.

Things are really difficult right now. I did get my leave from work, which helps. Thank you everyone for the continued prayers and support.

BeautyLver · ‎09-09-2018

@conlt wrote:
So far I have been a bit disappointed with the hospice that I chose. They promised pet therapy, music therapy, and massage. None of those has showed up in the 2 weeks my mother has been in hospice. I spoke to the nurse and she said they were ordered on admission. I have a number to call the social worker which I will do for some support. I go from being mentally OK to not being ok.
My mother is bed-bound now and hardly eating but is drinking. The assisted living is letting her stay there, and that is a great help because they turn and change her.
My sister and I spend hours upon hours a day trying to get her to eat/drink and just sit. I help the aides change her.
I am an RN who works in home health care, and I know the nurse who is her hospice nurse. Like many I think the nurses, because they know me professionally, think that I am able to do everything for her just like I do with other patients, however, she is my mother and taking care of her is so different than taking care of someone who is not a family member.
The nurse is leaving for another job on Friday so maybe we will get a nurse who does not know me.
Things are really difficult right now. I did get my leave from work, which helps. Thank you everyone for the continued prayers and support.

Have been exactly where you are with my mom. Often times there is so much work a family member has to do on the “administrative” side...it’s like juggling a hundred balls in the air. When all we want is comfort, quality for our loved one. You are certainly not alone, myself and so many in your shoes. Take care of you, know that’s hard.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@conlt wrote:
Well, I signed my mother up into Hospice today.Thank you for all of your kind words. I have FMLA all set-up at work and tomorrow I will notify them that I am on leave. My mom was awake today, we had a good day with all of her immediate family there. I brought my Sheltie, Halo, for support and that was nice. Mom always loved Halo and Halo loves her.
The Hospice that I chose will take care of mom in the assisted living and at end they will provide a LPN or an aide 24 hours. That way we will not have to transfer her to an institutional Hospice.

BF was in a combined Assisted Living/Memory Care facility and that's what his daughter did. When he could no longer live alone he was in Assisted Living and the criteria for moving to Memory Care part was that he could no longer feed himself and required a wheelchair. The facility he was in would rotate the staff among both wings of the facility so there was some sense of recognition and stability to residents.

At his facility they also had a portion of the staff that were Hospice trained and he was assigned a personal care aid at that point so hospice was done right at the facility. It only meant that he was now on an agreed upon plan of care between the family and Hospice caretakers and I was there when these ppl were seeing others and BF. They were so patient and caring - takes a special kind of person,

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

@conlt I would definitely call the Hospice office and ask them why the programs they promised (such as music and pet therapy) aren't happening. Ask to speak to a supervisor if you aren't happy with the response of the person who answers the phone.

Someone may have dropped the ball in the office....it's good to let them know you are paying attention.

I understand what you say about being a nurse, but it's different when it's your mother you are caring for.

Blessings and peace to you, Halo.