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mistri,I am sorry you are going through a tough time,my thoughts and prayers are with you, I have struggled with depression my whole life, I know what you are going through...no preaching but just know, you are a child of God,he loves you and is there for you...talk to him,he listens.
It's a relief to see ya, Mistri babe; hang in there. 
Sending you good vibes & positive energy for your move & starting anew.
(something I wish could do as well)
You're a tough chick - please know you can do this!
Keep us updated if you can, and in the meantime...
@mistriTsquirrel wrote:"Also, a cousin of mine was admitted to a psychiatric hospital because of a suicide attempt. Her husband found her standing on a chair with a scarf around her neck that was tied to a beam. She has also been struggling with depression for years, and I worry about her, her daughters and her husband."
The cousin I spoke of...
Her father killed himself last month. I had no idea he was so depressed. When I spoke to him on FB, he seemed fine. I've been thinking of him quite a bit lately. I'm keeping in contact with the family over FB to let them know I'm available to help or to listen. I worry about all of them.
However, I was sickened by what my mother had to say after the memorial. She kept talking about how horrible she felt for my cousin who lost her dad, ad nauseum.
I asked her if she remembered telling me that I wasn't allowed to cry at my dad's memorial. I also asked her if she remembered pushing my brother's hand off of my shoulder when he was trying to comfort me (during the service), and giving him a dirty look. I also asked her how she could care so much about relatives she barely ever sees, but not give a s*** about her own daughter. She said, "oh, come on!" I got out of the car and stood with my brother.
Unfortunately, neither one of them seem to want what's best for me. My brother has made it clear to me that if I leave the area, I will be abandoning our mother.
I am tired of putting my life on hold for people who only see me as a utility.
I'm just about done here.
Once this house is ready to sell, I don't see any reason to stay.
Wish me luck getting everything done that I need to.
@mistriTsquirrel, I didn't realize you'd checked in with us. How wonderful to see your name. I'm so sorry for your loss. You've never left my heart, or the hearts of so many posters here who care so much about you. Positive vibes always coming your way as you take the next steps toward the joy you deserve.
Mistri, I have been waiting to see you back as I've been wanting to tell you something. My little daughter and I moved in together in April to a new apartment. It is on the ground floor and I have a window right next to my computer desk and a large tree not more than 10 feet from the window.
This tree houses at least 30 squirrels and many different birds. Every time I watch the squirrels, I think of you. They play, they fight, they (ahem) make love, they are always busy, and sometimes they are so clownish, I laugh out loud. They are part of my daily life and in a way, actually keep me company. They are starting to do their fall storage and are very, very busy. The babies I saw when I moved in are almost adult size now.
I have wanted you to know this for several months and I am so glad you posted so that I could tell you. I think of you every day because of my "family" of squirrels. Whatever you decide to do in the future, my hope is that you will find happiness . . . maybe even a window right under a squirrel tree.
@LilacTree wrote:Mistri, I have been waiting to see you back as I've been wanting to tell you something. My little daughter and I moved in together in April to a new apartment. It is on the ground floor and I have a window right next to my computer desk and a large tree not more than 10 feet from the window.
This tree houses at least 30 squirrels and many different birds. Every time I watch the squirrels, I think of you. They play, they fight, they (ahem) make love, they are always busy, and sometimes they are so clownish, I laugh out loud. They are part of my daily life and in a way, actually keep me company. They are starting to do their fall storage and are very, very busy. The babies I saw when I moved in are almost adult size now.
I have wanted you to know this for several months and I am so glad you posted so that I could tell you. I think of you every day because of my "family" of squirrels. Whatever you decide to do in the future, my hope is that you will find happiness . . . maybe even a window right under a squirrel tree.
What a sweet post, @LilacTree. I'm so glad you're enjoying your new home.
I hope our @mistriTsquirrel will check in with us again, soon.
@qualitygal wrote:I didn't read all these replies. You are much loved. You're going through a really tough time right now for sure. I'm sorry, I know it's difficult. While I have no words of wisdom to magically make this go away I do understand. I'll keep you all in my prayers, thoughts, and best wishes at one of life's most horribly hard things to go through. I know it does bring a person down into the depths. Please hang on the best you can, and I hope your extended family can too. It just takes time and you have to take it one day at a time and please try to make the best of it, I'm sure you are. Hang tight. Honestly, it seems like it will go on forever, it won't. My heart goes out to you as you go through this horrible time.
That's so eloquent and so accurate, @qualitygal. I think one thing this thread has shown us is that we never know who's dealing with difficult issues... and that we're not alone in trying to find balance and solutions.
@dooBdoo wrote:
@LilacTree wrote:Mistri, I have been waiting to see you back as I've been wanting to tell you something. My little daughter and I moved in together in April to a new apartment. It is on the ground floor and I have a window right next to my computer desk and a large tree not more than 10 feet from the window.
This tree houses at least 30 squirrels and many different birds. Every time I watch the squirrels, I think of you. They play, they fight, they (ahem) make love, they are always busy, and sometimes they are so clownish, I laugh out loud. They are part of my daily life and in a way, actually keep me company. They are starting to do their fall storage and are very, very busy. The babies I saw when I moved in are almost adult size now.
I have wanted you to know this for several months and I am so glad you posted so that I could tell you. I think of you every day because of my "family" of squirrels. Whatever you decide to do in the future, my hope is that you will find happiness . . . maybe even a window right under a squirrel tree.
What a sweet post, @LilacTree. I'm so glad you're enjoying your new home.
I hope our @mistriTsquirrel will check in with us again, soon.
Thank you DooBdoo! And I hope so too.
I'm trying to quote peoples' posts by clicking the reply box under their post, but it isn't working.
What am I doing wrong? 
Thank you all for your kind words!!
--mistri
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