Wellness

[mistriTsquirrel]

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@WaJa61 wrote:

I am thinking of and praying for your strength and comfort through the Father's Day weekend, sweet @mistriTsquirrel. I know you miss him every day, as surely as I do mine (and my mother) but these holidays can trigger yet more sadness and even grief in us. 

Just wanted you to know you're on my mind and heart. 💙

I hope you have connected with some on the chatboards who relate to how you feel, and vice-versa. Seems you have been quiet here, so I hope that's why. I'm not here as much as I would like to be... and I rarely have the words to express myself, or to help you in your struggles. But I do care and will always want the very best for you. 

~Joy 🙏

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@WaJa61  Thank you, my sweet Joy.     You have always been so kind to me, and I truly appreciate it.

I hope Father's Day weekend wasn't too difficult for you.  I kept myself busy and barely noticed the day.  It actually wasn't the day itself that was such a reminder, it was all of the e-mails from websites advertising their great gifts for Dad.

I have been spending more time in a chat room, actually, talking to other depressed people.  It has been good and bad.  One nice thing about it is that there are people from all over the world who go there, so if you wake up at 4 am and can't sleep and feel like you want to talk to someone, you can.  Of course, it is not without its trolls or people who want to be chat room police and all of the things that come with chat rooms and forums.  But what can ya do?

I hope you are well and enjoying yourself, whatever you're up to.  

[mistriTsquirrel]

Hi, @DianeJ2!!  I'm so glad to see you here again!!  I was hoping you were up to something good.  I'm sorry you're "up to" recovering from an accident.  

I can understand why it aggravated your depression to be immobile.  It definitely makes me feel worse mood-wise when I am not able to get up and do things.  I hope Father's Day weekend was not too hard on you.  I'm glad to hear you are back on your feet, albeit in a dorky way.  LoL  If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of a dork too.

I'm sure your squirrel will be very forgiving, as long as you put out some pizza.  heh  Pizza fixes a lot of things.  Pizza and cupcakes.

I would like to hear more about what you are up to now that you're back on your feet.  I hope you will come back again soon, as I miss you, my friend.  

[mistriTsquirrel]

@cbrite!!!  How are you?  Thank you for the beautiful flowers.  I have some for you. 

I'm okay, I guess.  The past several days have been very trying for me.  

When I tried to get a prescription filled, my insurance company required a prior authorization.  Which meant my doctor had to call them and explain why I need the medication.  So anyway, they supposedly gave him the run-around, and he told me he does not want to be my psychiatrist anymore.  He told me he will not deal with my insurance company, and I need to find someone else or else pay out of pocket for this medication.  I will now have to pay out of pocket, because there is no way I can get an authorization before I run out. 

The insurance company claims he never called them.  Then they called him for me, but he said the woman who called him connected him to a department that was closed, as it was 5:30 pm.  He said he will not deal with them anymore, because it is not good for his health.  I'm not shocked that another doctor has failed me, but each time something like this happens, I have to deal with the negative consequences, and it causes me a lot of stress. 

Then I had an argument with my mother.  We were talking about a show on t.v. where a woman had murdered her husband with a hatchet and was claiming it was in self-defense.  But she had purchased the hatchet at a Home Depot hours before the killing, and all of his injuries were in his back.  My mom seemed to identify with this woman, and she said some very ugly things.  Some of them were about my dad, which I really didn't say anything about.  But she said that some people deserve to be killed, which I did say something about.  

She told me that she thought she should've been paid for staying at home and raising my brother and I, and doing some of the home improvement stuff she has done.  I told her that no one gets paid for raising their own kids and making improvements to their own home.  I asked her who she thought should pay her and she had no answer for me.

This has to do with how my dad treated her, but I walked away with the message that she regrets having me, that she thinks she should've been paid to raise me and--based on what she said--that she is glad my dad is dead.

I walked away, and I cried.  Then--against my better judgment--I went back and told her how much she hurt me.  Then she said some other things that just made me feel worse, like that she never should've had kids.

She now says she is sorry.  I think she does feel bad.  But I don't think I will be able to forget the things she said.

This argument just happened, so my eyes are burning from crying, and I'm still trying to process it.  I was going to get some stuff done today, but why do I feel worn out already?  ::sigh::

I'm sorry if that was T.M.I.  I'm just having a hard time right now, and I was really starting to feel like there is no one around here who cares about me.  I think she does, but sometimes she says things that make me wonder.

Anyway, I'm not going to stay on long.  Will check on the other thread later.  I am going to try to get some things done today.  Wish me luck, my friend.  LoL

Sending hugs your way and hoping you're having a great day!!!  (Wow...was that a poem? LoL)

[cbrite]

@mistriTsquirrel I had no notice you'd replied...so I just came here to check....

I'm gad to hear from you......tho it does not sound like you are doing well...... thank you too for the flowers... 

I'm sorry to hear about how your doctor treated you... and what your mom said.... U have a big heart. Take care always.

[mistriTsquirrel]

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@cbrite wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel I had no notice you'd replied...so I just came here to check....

I'm gad to hear from you......tho it does not sound like you are doing well...... thank you too for the flowers... 

I'm sorry to hear about how your doctor treated you... and what your mom said.... U have a big heart. Take care always.

I was thinking of unplugging...the phone/desk top/everything... 

(I am far more than depressed-need to go.) 

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Oh, @cbrite. 

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.  I hope you will hold on tight until better days come.

I feel like anything I could say to you right now would be inadequate.  I wish I could make things better, my friend.

Love and hugs to you.     I hope you will come back and let me know what's going on.

[mistriTsquirrel]

Hoping everyone is doing well. 

Have not heard from you @DianeJ2.  Hope you are doing alright.

Life has become more confusing for me.  I met someone online who I feel strongly for, but I don't see it working out.  I have such sadness in my heart about that.  Truly a bummer.

Anyway, my best to everyone reading this.

[cbrite]

@mistriTsquirrel I had left u 2 replies, which I removed as I stated on those 2 replies..... Did u read them?....There were about 65 views...was about my personal ex issue.... I am VERY worried as I come to log in today, well on the 28th my time, and THERE is a large photo of my ex's face, which there was only 1 copy of........ it was on this forum, under my photos 😳 .... I almost fainted....I am furious.. I did not put it on here or anywhere on this forum... I did not put it on the replies either......... I do not know who got it, or who put it on here in these forums..... I had one copy... the mods allowed it and put me in danger...really not cool..... just want to know if you saw it on these forums over the last 2 days?...... I'm so angry I could spit.

Someone has/had my password on here.... I did not ask over at the 'Among Friends' site/thread...... I am just too upset...

My privacy was violated big time. 😢

If you did see it, tell me where it was posted? 

ty....... (I'll remove this also after u read it)

[cbrite]

@mistriTsquirrel You add a lot of cute squirrel photos/pictures but they do not show up listed anywhere on here..... How do you do that ?? How can I hide all my photos like you do ?? I don't want a list under my images, to show all my photos/pics I put into posts on here either.......Tell me your secret!!  

Sorry to read about your online thing going south.... You must be very down, which you do not need..... OK, I'm out of here, waiting on a call......  

[mistriTsquirrel]

@cbrite  I am so sorry about the photos.  Only one I saw was that little one on the other thread.  I am not on the site as much as I used to be.  And no, I did not read the replies you deleted.  I'm sorry.

I have no idea how my photos don't wind up saved.  I copy and paste images I find on Google or Bing, and they don't wind up on my profile page.  Not sure how the magic happens.  

As far as my online friend who I am interested in...we are so alike.  But he is interested in someone else, and lives so far away from me.  It would be ridiculous for me to think it could work out, but I can't help wishing.  Will have to try and keep some distance emotionally.  He is a good friend, so it's good to have him in my life.  Just kind of bittersweet.

I'm so sad you are going through such a hard time.  I wish I could fix it, my friend.  

[GingerPeach]

@cbrite

Are you making sure when you post any photo you check the box that says "hidden album" instead of "public album"?

By "photo" I mean your own personal photos uploaded from your own computer, not pictures you might simply insert as copies with the "copy and past" technique and that came from some other website.