Wellness

[adoreqvc]

Big SIster I am so happy to see you post here again.

Lord knows when we first began with this thread I was the first reply to address rav girl, and I posted Elizabeth-Kubler-Ross' 5 steps of grief, and other helpful information.

I found that thread just in time because losing hubby and then 2 weeks later losing Mom really sliced through my shattered heart, and wailing soul.

I know losing you Sister also caused that intense horrific torment which was never ending.

Now dear friend I believe there really are no steps to grief since grief remains within our spirit, evolves,  and constantly changes.

(Also on this thread  yesterday I printed a very informative piece regarding that steps of grief are a lie, so if you have not read it yet please do. You too shall understand that what it states is true. the grief remains as long as we are alive because it is always with us, changes and evolves, goes away, then resurfaces......and that is exactly what I have experiennced each time I lost a loved one, relative, friend or pet.

I do believe since I know my grief has not stopped and gone away that yes time did help a tiny bit, but I still do grieve when I think about everyone who died form my immedaite family, all USA relatives, and the last to fo 2 weeks apart were my Beloved Husband of 45 years of marriage, and then my  Beloved Mom. Also my POW brother the VIet Cong  captured and tortured for over years, and then slowly tortured until he died just a few days before our guys liberated the rest of the POWS in that remote Vietnamese jungle camp/prison.

With this new 6/15/2015 move to the new web site design I again asked QVC to keep this delayed grief active when they made the move on 6/15/2015, but I also asked them to keep the entirety of all posts and also alllow new commenting, and that is where I see inconcistencies now. 

We are missing so many informative posts form the original, thread and it is a shame, but I am thankful they did add some posts, although all posts and replies would have really helped everyone coming here grieving looking for help and answers.

At least some posts are better than none.....and they did leave the commenting open for new comments, so for that I am also very thankful.

I hope the QVC Team finds all the missing posted information and also adds it all back in its entirety on this delayed grieg thread....I am not sure that they may, but really hope that they will.

Big SIster I hope you are well, since we have not cyber chatted for quite a while.

I will try very hard to keep this thread going, and if you can please check back periodically,  because now retired we do travel throughout the year, and only post when we return home, so if you check back and see I am not replying if you could help others in need until I return I would greatly appreciate your kindness and efforts.

( That is if it is not very sad for you to do this.....if it is too sad then do not, and I guess when I return people who waited would have read this communication, and also checked back for my replies every so often).

Big Sister please be aware that I am mainly on Kitchen and Recipes ....Posting my recipes as usual, when I am home.....and also on the delayed grief thread under Wellness. (Even if no one needs help I do leave a reply that I have left to travel for a while, or I have returned from my travels).

Well dear friend I enclose many Sisterly blessings, daily prayers, and hugs, and hope you can also visit my threads often, and I too will enter yours when I see them. 

God Bless.....

[adoreqvc]

I hope everyone is having a better easier day today, and hang in there, time helps with grief.

[adoreqvc]

Just checking in again....

[adoreqvc]

Checking in again, and it is Sunday 6/21/15.

Cyclone Depression Bill is in the Northeast area.

The thunderstorms and winds will be increasing soon, along with chance of flooding which may lead to electrical power failures and inability to get around, so we hope for the best.

May the Lord keep everyone safe from harm, and may "Bill fizzle out quickly".

If I can't post please know everyone is in our prayers, and will resume when up and running again.

[adoreqvc]

The dangerous weather for now is no longer a threat, so back to business as usual.

[adoreqvc]

I really hope you will come back Apple Head, and I will check back in to see if you did reply here, some time later this evening.

[adoreqvc]

Hi sunshine&rainbows,

I hope you are enjoying your visit with you dear SIster, and please know when you return I hope you share some highlights from your  trip and your visit with her.

[Apple Head]

AdoreQVC,

Thank you for inviting me back to the thread.   I didn't know where it ended up after the upgrade.

Thank you for your kind and understanding comments on my thread about missing my Dad on Father's Day.   There are days I just feel so empty and scared.

I have my twice a month grief group tomorrow, so I am glad about that.   The people in the group are so nice and kind.    

I think the loss of my job of 20 years only has contributed to my grief for my parents.   I feel so disconnected to my former life.    I find no joy right now.   I stay at home (don't want to spend money) and sometimes am afraid to leave the house, although I run errands, etc.   Job interviews have been good, but I'm "over-qualified" for so many positions.   I'm scared for my future.

Problems with siblings only exasperated things for me.    They never helped when my Dad was ill and one didn't even come to his furneral.    He was so good to them.  He sacrificed so much so their dreams could be realized.    Now, they are completely out of my life.   I "did a good job" when I was my Dad's caregiver, but not so much when I was left to handle his Will.   And I had hoped we'd grow closer after he passed.

I think I'm just shell shocked.  I feel numb.   I feel like everything is a chore.   I'm exhausted from just having to deal with so many major issues.   Not one so called friend ever invited me over or came to my house to comfort me.   I guess people don't want to be around grieving people.

Anyway, thank you for reminding me about this thread and knowing I have a place to come when I need some support and comfort and compassion.   Your kindness is so beautiful.

[adoreqvc]

Oh Apple Head I  am so glad to read your post now.

I also have learned much since losing everyone I loved.

About the so called friends, many heard and never called or said a word of comfort, but the best were the ones I have as great kind caring compassionate neighbors with the exception of one, who remained totally devoid of any human compassion at all, smiled, and laughed, as though nothing happened at all.

The Church gals, Clergy, my entire congregation and quite a few great neighbors and select close friends were always there for me, as was my Physician a long time after I fell into a very frightening sad black hole, of constant  isolation and depression.

Some neighbors and so called friends who knew my beloved husband for 45 years had died in a fatal car accident, and 2 weeks later my beloved Mom also died refused to say a kind caring word, not even an I'm so sorry you have my deepest condolences.

Nothing at all so I stopped communicating with everyone who abandoned me when I needed them the most. One kind word, one phone call, one visit with some fruit as a you have to eat, and keep up your strength visit, would have been so wonderful.

One thing I also learned Apple Head is in your situation I can totally understand your cutting your siblings out of your life.I definitely would have done the same, but when they did not show caring, love, respect or interest at the time they were most needed, was when they would have become history.....at least for me.

I hate to say this but with horrible inhumane siblings many times you actually are better off alone.

Your beloved Dad must have been so hurt when he became ill and terminal with cancer, and they never came to see him, or call, or anything. That saddens me too.

Oh but the reading of the will is when they always gather......I hope he left them their just desserts.

It infuriates me when people turn away from their ill parents who gave them life, raised them, loved them, comforted them, educated them, and helped them in any way they could, and are intentionally forgotten by their children. How very sad, but your Dad had the best child he could possibly wish for Apple Head.....He had you to comfort and love him, and always be there for him, and for that you should know God has and will continue to bless you.

I will say Apple Head this must have been quite a shock for you and your beloved Dad, but sweetie believe me you have emerged stronger and wiser.

You learned the truth about your siblings, and greed and inhumane actions are a wake up call that really cut to your core, but you did emerge stronger, and you are a survivor and your beloved Dad is smiling down watching you in all you do, and I just know in my heart that he is so proud of you with every step you take as you walk life's earthly journey.

Life should go on, and do not be discouraged, because you are a kind loving sensitive person and for those who befriend you, they are also quite lucky.

Continue the employment search and do not give up, and I will also pray you find a good job very soon.

Remember when one door closes another opens so be strong.

About your resume take a good look at it and if you placed too much emphasis on certain points rethink them because many times just listing qualifications can make us look over qualified.

(Had my own business with 1st husband and we traveled often to meet with clients, so we too learned a lot through the years).

There are many internet companies and individuals which will peruse your resume and restructure it with key words so you stand out before you even have your interviews. That may be something you could utilize.

Apple Head, when interviewing your main objective is to offer your expertise and services in a very unique way, and make yourself stand out from the competition.

Your sincerity, demeanor, and professionalism, will be critiqued, and you want to make a glowing impression of someone who would be highly valued as an asset to the firm.  

Here is some tips which will help.....Before any interview try and research the company to know what it represents, and what their goals and strengths are.

"Then refer to some of those key points when you begin your interview, and start off by saying the reason I am so excited to have this opportunity for an interview with you Mr. or Ms. ________ is because I would greatly appreciate the opportunity of also expressing my interest in your organizations accomplishments of _______________________.

Believe me an interviewer will be so impressed if took the time and research the company and knew what they were about and knew their accomplishments .

Not everyone knows to do that, but that is being insightful, knowledgeable, and smart. That also displays character and leadership.

In addition to that say I also enjoy and welcome corporate challenges, and am a team player who will also go the extra mile. 

I am also very willing to learn new strategies and apply my talents to the end result for success. 

I am excellent at problem solving, and and would truly welcome the opportunity to grow with, and contribute to the continued success of this firm.

By all means Apple Head rearrange the words to suit your professional background.

"Remember a clear mind and body, helps project assets highly valued by every organization".  

AgaIn I wish you mucho luck Apple Head on your interviews, and hope you can use some of my suggestions to your advantage.

Now as far as being in isolation in the house and being fearful you must stop those feelings. You need fresh air and also need to realize no matter how many blows life gives us we need to eventually pick ourselves back up, and continue living again.

Apple Head "fear holds a person prisoner and that is something which is definitely not healthy". 

You must combat against fear, and live your life. It is the only one you get.

Do not fear your future, welcome it and become a part of it,  and it will justly reward you.

Live each day to the fullest because it is a present from God....The present day is a present, and we are never guaranteed a tomorrow, so live each day, and enjoy it.

I would imagine your Dear Dad would want you to be strong now and live.......So live for yourself Apple Head, to become the best you can be, in spite of it all.

"Many times bad things happen to good people Apple Head,  but eventually good things also surface again, so in essence we all do become even stronger, persevere.

Apple Head I understand about you're still feling shock and being numb, but that too will pass.

"Eventually we all learn to accept what we know we must accept, especially if we cannot change it for the better".  

Apple Head if you still feel everything is a chore and you are exhausted have your Doctor do a urine and blood test to see all your stats and perhaps you need some prescription vitamins to give you energy.

You may be anemic now......you will also find out if that is the case from the tests,  and the Doctor can also help with that and any other meds he feels you should take now, but you must be truthful and tell him exactly what the issues are. Also if you have problems concentrating, or sleeping advise the Doctor.

I believe seeing your Doctor is imperative Apple Head so do that first so if you need vitamins, pres. meds, etc., begin taking all of that to help build up your system again, and then continue with seeking employment.

I hope I have helped you, and look forward to reading your reply, and your thoughts about what I outlined above. 

Remember you do not have to accept ay suggestions, unless you feel they can really help you.

Apple Head you can do this, and with God, and your Dear Dad watching over you, I know you will be triumphant.

God Bless.....and I hope you will reply when you can.

[qualitygal]

Adore and Mistri! Please consider this a big hug for you both. My dad passed last Sep. and some days the missing him is hard. I feel for you both, and understand your pain. Mistri, I check in now and then to just see if you check in now and then. Wish I could help you both. I think this will all take time. Peace be with you both.