Wellness

[adoreqvc]

On 1/30/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Thank you so very much adoreqvc. THANK YOU~

I, along with rac71 posting(s) are on the forum `Among Friends`.

I had taken this over to the quiet place so we could talk. Somewhere on the board explains how I had come to meet dear rac71, from another thread- another day; (I believe) just before she knew about her mother's heart attack and the complications that would follow. I (try) to stay, having constant postings between us. I do hope I have not worn my welcome out. Everything happened so quickly then took a turn for the worse. She is a very devoted daughter. I feel as though I know she and her dear mother.

_Naes

YOU COULD NEVER WEAR OUT YOUR WELCOME!!!!!

Caring pals are always needed.

They are so greatly appreciated and treasured, especially on the internet when they reach out and seek caring people to internet communicate with.

This is most evident in times of losing a loved one, and at that time a person can really use all the caring and support possible.

[Anglophilly]

Today marks 48 yrs since my first husband died, leaving me with a 7 mo old and pregnant. He was 26 and died suddenly.

At this point I'm not sure if it's grief or PTSD I feel. Maybe both. The month of January & its weather brings me right back to that day. I don't dwell on it, but that anxiety & sadness is still there, though dulled by years of living a full "2nd life".

We carry on. Quite a blessing.

[adoreqvc]

On 1/30/2015 Anglophilly said:

Today marks 48 yrs since my first husband died, leaving me with a 7 mo old and pregnant. He was 26 and died suddenly.

At this point I'm not sure if it's grief or PTSD I feel. Maybe both. The month of January & its weather brings me right back to that day. I don't dwell on it, but that anxiety & sadness is still there, though dulled by years of living a full "2nd life".

We carry on. Quite a blessing.

I am so saddened to read about your loss Aglophilly.

I do not think our age has any bearing as far as the pain we endure.

I do agree that time may offer acceptance and the pain is not so great, but I feel the pain of losing our loved ones no matter how much time has passed will always be a constant companion.

They live on in our memories, video's, letters, cards, gifts, photographs, and that is as it should be, but for me the pain is still there from losing my entire family and my husband of 43+ years. (Lost my husband then 2 weeks later my Mom died. Both unexpectedly).

Being able to carry on is quite a blessing.

All I can offer is reading this delayed grief thread does console many and also offers a wealth of information which has helped many, and i hope it will also help you.

[NAES1]

On 1/30/2015 Anglophilly said:

Today marks 48 yrs since my first husband died, leaving me with a 7 mo old and pregnant. He was 26 and died suddenly.

At this point I'm not sure if it's grief or PTSD I feel. Maybe both. The month of January & its weather brings me right back to that day. I don't dwell on it, but that anxiety & sadness is still there, though dulled by years of living a full "2nd life".

We carry on. Quite a blessing.

Anglophilly, HELLO~,

I had to read this twice because I thought , "No", this could not have happened to your 26 year old husband dying so suddenly, although I know it is more common (heart attacks/ strokes), within the last -SIX- years, more frequently, than before.

I had heard of this {very same thing}/ men having heart attacks & strokes at a very younger age- Stats appears that the 40s & 50s are the upper numbers-which was on national news only yesterday, also.

What a WhamO punch for you!

~I know that PTSD does not CARE WHO owns "IT"!~

As I read your post, I find nothing unusual to have anxiety-type-saddness. I am happy for you, though-now.... being in a positive position, rather than being in a very dark place.

You are to be admired, being so young....

I agree: QUITE A BLESSING to carry on. You could write a book.

_Naes

[NAES1]

Also, I am thinking of rac71, today, her mother's memorial service ( I am believing today, the 30th) was to be earlier than the funeral. The funeral will be sunday.

There was a hold, out of the normal, due to a medical intervention, due to the complications (mom) had in the hospital.

My prayers, today, are for rac71. She had become very ill from the pending service meeting, earlier and had to leave.

[rac71]

On 1/30/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Also, I am thinking of rac71, today, her mother's memorial service ( I am believing today, the 30th) was to be earlier than the funeral. The funeral will be sunday.

There was a hold, out of the normal, due to a medical intervention, due to the complications (mom) had in the hospital.

My prayers, today, are for rac71. She had become very ill from the pending service meeting, earlier and had to leave.

I was able to be big at the funeral for my mommy. I got through my writing, and added some statements. She had to current Hebrew school students in the shul. A number of former students, ages 8 through 30 were there as well. My first teaching mentor was there; my mom had been her daughter's 4th grade Hebrew school teacher before she moved to first grade. My dad has been calling out in his sleep. I'verushed to his bedroom every time I hear him. He's broken down several times and I know he doesn't want me to see it. I knew my mom was generous of heart but I had no idea how many people had been touched by her. I also had my own friends and colleagues there. When a now-10th grade boy said "I feel like I should hug you," I told him to go ahead. I understood that at that moment, he was the one who needed the hug. I didn't really eat until after 5:30 tonight. I couldn't. Someone brought me a few strawberries, but I didn't take in protein. I wouldn't let myself have the cookies and sweets. Even on an empty stomach, my stress levels have kept my sugar too elevated. The only sugary stuff I've indulged in this whole time has been coca cola. My mom was as big a cola addict as I am; more so, maybe. She guzzled Slurpees but still had that tiny body. Apologies for the babble. My mind is numb yet racing, and the idea of going to sleep and waking back to this living nightmare....Two days, fourteen hours and fifty minutes since she drew her last breath.

[adoreqvc]

Dear rac 71,

Please accept my prayers, and deepest condolences on the loss of your dear Mother.

Please join a grief therapy group asap. Hospitals offer them, and so do religious organizations. It really helps understand the loss and the grief one feels.

Losing a mother is very difficult to say the least, and when that Mother Daughter bond breaks due to death that is extremely difficult to accept on so many levels. I know I lost my Mother too.

My last dual loses were my husband of 45 years of marriage, and 2 weeks later my beloved Mom died a few minutes before I walked into the room. They both died unexpectedly. I also lost my entire immediate family.

Grief journeys are no stranger to many of us and that is why we have all contributed to the delayed grief thread.

Please know you are still experiencing shock and to a certain degree your grief journey although has begun still has not become reality yet.

Please if you can take a little time in between grief therapy sessions and read this delayed grief thread it may really help you understand what a grief journey entails and what to expect.

It has such a wealth of information which may help answer many of your questions.

Keep your family close and your friends all within reach.

Try and avoid isolation because that leads to depression and do not be afraid to speak to your physician if any of you need some meds to help with depression, sleep, coping. Using them for a short time does help.

I wish you all God's inner peace during this very difficult time of loss.

God bless...

[adoreqvc]

Just checking in again.

I wanted to again remind everyone if anyone needs support in this area of losing someone and what their grief journey entails I do check back pretty often, and will reply accordingly if anyone asks or posts and needs some more support.

[dooBdoo]

This thread was discussed in another forum, and I wanted to bring it forward for Pqfan.

Sending you prayers and good wishes, (((Pqfan))). Please, remember to take good care of yourself.

[Pqfan]

On 5/1/2015 dooBdoo said:

This thread was discussed in another forum, and I wanted to bring it forward for Pqfan.

Sending you prayers and good wishes, (((Pqfan))). Please, remember to take good care of yourself.

Thankyou so much doo b doo.