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Regular Contributor
Posts: 156
Registered: ‎04-16-2013
Hi everyoneSmiley Happy. I thought I would check in. I was so touched to see that you were thinking about me. I am doing the best I can. Regardless of how we get along with our partner or spouse, experiencing his/ her death is something that I can't really explain. The depth of heartache, anxiety, regret, panic, denial and loss is like nothing I could have ever imagined. I'm so, so sad that he's not here to enjoy all the things that he loved- the weather, the water, diving, his friends, the pool, the yard work, his home. His loss is senseless to me and its hard to comprehend this thing we call life. He should have lived many years beyond the 63 he had. When I think of his last day and he was told he was dying, I can't imagine what he thought and how he felt. When I think of it I feel sick to my stomach. And, reactions to Dennis'' death from alleged friends who don't contact me anymore to people who have actually said to me, You've lost weight, it really looks good, it's too bad the way it happened but you look good! W T F and I wasnt heavy to begin with. But, anyway, I am going to a counselor, on an antidepressant and trying to take it a day at a time. I have ok days, some better days and days where I just cry and cry. I know it's all part of the grieving process, blah, blah, blah, I had to get an attorney in NJ because the pension still hasn't given me his monthly check. They want his divorce judgements and other crazy stuff. So many things unsettled and that I had no idea would be a problem. Grief is an emotionally and physically devastating assault on your body. On a more positive side, I met a woman whose husband died 10 days before Dennis. (That's not the brighter side) He was an infectious disease doctor in town. He had a lung disease and finally got called for a lung transplant. He died a couple of weeks after the operation from a heart embolism. So she and I are helping each other. And while I have been disappointed in so many people, there are people who have become friends that I never expected. My neighbor who has lived next to us for barely a year has become my angel-and I hate the cliche- but she calls me, texts me, every day, invites me over for dinner, calls me to run to the store with her, have a glass of wine, So there are some very good, kind, decent, caring people in this world -- like all of you!Smiley Happy. ??Diana
Regular Contributor
Posts: 156
Registered: ‎04-16-2013
The 2 question marks at the end were supposed to be a heart!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,500
Registered: ‎09-23-2011

Rizzo, have your hissy fits, your entitled. With chemo you get set backs like low WBC's and platelets. Comes with the territory. Unfortunately you have a lot going on in your life right now. You'll have to put some of it on the back burner for now.

Hey Diana, good to hear from you. Your doing everything right. Happy pills are always a good thing. We live on them. Post traumatic stress disorder from cancer treatments and Dr's appointments. I'm so happy to hear that you met a good friend and that your neighbor is wonderful. Yes there are good people in this world. Everything takes time so be gentle on yourself. You were a wonderful wife and caregiver. An inspiration.

Lynn I hope your cousin is doing a bit better.

Jxx

Regular Contributor
Posts: 158
Registered: ‎01-03-2015

Sorry guys for posting those immune booster things, as the intention was to help. I guess that shows the difference between "chemo" and other cancer "treatments". My eye caught the spinach, yogurt and garlic, since these are things I eat almost daily and during my immunotherapy I was encouraged to keep these in my diet. So sorry!

I'm glad the MRI didn't show anything horrible, although I was hoping it would indicate something fixable that would help with the adrenal issues I'm having. I increased the steroid, but still severely fatigued. I went out earlier tonight to get the mail. Decided to get the dogs in my car, drive around the block to our little community mailbox area. I got the mail and as I leaned over to pick up a darn ad paper I fell right on my face between the sidewalk and gravel. One if those moments that plays out in slow motion as your inside voice is yelling, "NOOOOOOOOO". Luckily my big boobs caught most of the fall. So they are good for something.

Cocoablue - I'm so glad to hear you're taking steps to help during your time of grief. I think about you often, still so sad I made Yervoy seem like the wonder treatment. You were such an inspiration to me, as you did everything for Dennis and still took time to stay in touch with us. My angel.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,500
Registered: ‎09-23-2011

F1, you could have caused some serious damage with your fall. Glad your OK. Don't beat yourself up over recommending immune boosters. You would think they would help during chemo but they actually can interfere with it. they can lessen the effect of the chemo. Hmm gets you thinking.

Please tell me what I am doing up so early in the morning?? It's nuts.

Jxx

Regular Contributor
Posts: 158
Registered: ‎01-03-2015
On 1/15/2015 JackieHN said:

F1, you could have caused some serious damage with your fall. Glad your OK. Don't beat yourself up over recommending immune boosters. You would think they would help during chemo but they actually can interfere with it. they can lessen the effect of the chemo. Hmm gets you thinking.

Please tell me what I am doing up so early in the morning?? It's nuts.

Jxx

The melons saved me. {#emotions_dlg.w00t}

Immune boosting foods can interfere with "chemo"? Now is this all types of CA treatment or only traditional chemo? I ask this because, as you know it's my little pet peeve, some still refer to any type of CA treatment as chemo...and assume the same side effects will take place. I guess it's always safe to ask your oncologist or better yet, your oncology nurses.

BTW, I haven't been to bed yet. My internal clock is beyond messed up. I'm still sleeping all the time. I hate this!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,592
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

F1---omg, how you make me laugh!! Not about you falling but the "casabas of life" that saved you.{#emotions_dlg.laugh}

And I knew you were stating good info about the supplements/food. I was told not to take the pill form of any anti oxidants while going thru radiation but I could EAT them in the natural form which I did. I still eat them everyday as you do, in my smoothies except for the garlic. During chemo, I was told to stay away from anything fresh that I didn't clean and wash myself, due to the many hands of other people touching it. There may have been a few things I was told not to take but that is a distant memory.

Diana---so good to hear from you!!! You sound....ok! And sounds like you are slowly managing day by day. That is what it's all about. So glad you are seeing your therapist and taking our good friend, anti-D{#emotions_dlg.rolleyes}---keep it up. And bless your next door neighbor---and also the woman who lost her hubby before you did. These are the people that will lift you up and you will do the same for them even if you don't realize it. And as for the "friends " who are not so much anymore---forget them!! We all went thru that too. Not worth fretting over. Keep in touch!! I think about you every day!!!

PAM

Valued Contributor
Posts: 837
Registered: ‎04-14-2010
F1, we all know you were only trying to help, but every kind of cancer and treatment is different. So it's always best to seek advice from your dr or chemo nurses. I had a nurse friend tell me one time that any type of chemical therapy, like an antibiotic for an infection, was technically "chemo therapy" I don't know if that's actually true or not, maybe our nurse jackie can straighten us out. Cocoa, so good to hear from you. Please keep in touch , as we never know when someone might post about a spouse and you would be the perfect one to help them! I'm so glad your neighbor and others are being kind and helpful. Take care and post again . Goldie ,
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,070
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

I tried posting something, and it went to "no-where land", so I'll try again.

I spoke with my cousin last night and this morning. He may be going home from the hospital today, but hasn't heard anything definite yet. He won't be taking any more chemo, and will be starting in-home hospice on Monday.

He hasn't heard anything about the test results on the fluid that was removed from his abdomen. The tumor had grown (according to his last CAT scan), but it is confined to the area between his esophagus and stomach. After talking with the doctors, he and they felt the risks of more chemo might be more than the rewards.

His friend (a woman he's known for many years, and who took him to the hospital) will buy him groceries and whatever he needs. She also cleans and washes his clothes.

His sister can't be here, as she is older than he is, and she also has medical problems. However, her son (his nephew) flew here from Arizona, and will spend time with him this weekend.

Do any of you know anything about hospice care?

Valued Contributor
Posts: 837
Registered: ‎04-14-2010
Lyn, my father had hospice , they were very helpful. They came in I think every other day and bathed him, and took care of his personal care. This part was done by nursing assistants, they were kind and gentle. The licensed nurses took care of all of his medicines, kept him comfortable , there was no charge to the family for his medications. The supplied a hospital bed, a lift and other equipment.if we had any questions they were only a phone call away and would come anytime day or night, if we needed them. They helped my mother deal with what was happening. And when he passed, they were there and were authorized to pronounce him, therefor his body could be taken directly to the funeral home. I do t know what the laws are in your state, but in my state, had hospice not been involved , it would have been a very upsetting ordeal when he actually passed away. I only have good things to say about them. The nursing assistants that did his personal care even attended his funeral. I'm sorry if all this information is upsetting to some, but when my time comes I definitely want hospice care. Goldie