Suggestion Box

[Moonchilde]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@nomless wrote:

How about just Grief?  Grief is grief no matter when it is experienced.

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@nomless    @adoreqvc

I was wondering the same thing ... what's the difference between "grief" and "delayed" grief?    Nothing.    

And there are PLENTY of other sites that have this camaraderie.

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After reading here, it sounds as if the OP needs it to be her way for some reason. I get the feeling that if QVC created a Grief subforum, she would continue to campaign for a Delayed Grief subforum because that's what SHE wants - backed up, of course, by information that is in any book on grief that's out there, and freely individually interpretable. 

Except, while the stages MAY be long and drawn out, most people go through them within a time frame that the average person would not consider delayed. Someone exhibiting first acute grief 12 mos. after death would be delayed - and fairly rare.  A month later, no.  

Someone who has been grieving, and continues to actively grieve for 12+ months, is not "delayed", either.  By most people's definition/understanding of "delayed", that would be very few people - and not sufficient to have a specially, compartmentally-designated subforum. On a shopping channel. Which encourages people to buy things.

[chickenbutt]

I agree with Moonchilde.  Not only are there a zillion places on the internet where one can find such a board, it's not appropriate to a shopping board.  I really doubt that they want to attract negativity (enough of that already, eh?) and bad feelings when all they need to do is sell stuff.  

My educated guess is that they want this place to be a positive place.  Granted, everything in life isn't positive.  But there is a time and place for everything and this place is not the place for EVERYTHING.  

[Moonchilde]

I took a look at the Delayed Grief thread. A lot of it seems to be people whose loved ones died years ago, who have continued to "grieve" to the point that it seems to have assumed a regular place in their everyday life and become a part of them. To me that isn't grieving, it's obsession with the loved one's death.  Almost making oneself feel bad on a regular basis (holidays, etc) as a sort of penance/monument to memory.  

I don't think most people grieve in such a protracted way. I now view the OP's request as a monument to a "cult of grieving." And I understand QVC's silence on the matter.

This is just how I view what the OP has said, and the posts I saw in the other thread. I'm not trying to insult them or "be mean", but I don't feel that choice is a healthy one, and such a thread only supports the unhealthy aspect.

[dooBdoo]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I took a look at the Delayed Grief thread. A lot of it seems to be people whose loved ones died years ago, who have continued to "grieve" to the point that it seems to have assumed a regular place in their everyday life and become a part of them. To me that isn't grieving, it's obsession with the loved one's death.  Almost making oneself feel bad on a regular basis (holidays, etc) as a sort of penance/monument to memory.  

I don't think most people grieve in such a protracted way. I now view the OP's request as a monument to a "cult of grieving." And I understand QVC's silence on the matter.

This is just how I view what the OP has said, and the posts I saw in the other thread. I'm not trying to insult them or "be mean", but I don't feel that choice is a healthy one, and such a thread only supports the unhealthy aspect.

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          Since I occasionally post on the thread in question, I'll respond both in defense and also in agreement, @Moonchilde.    We've all experienced grief, and I'm not ever going to try and judge someone.   While we share it in common we also have our own individual path.   To your point about making it a sort of monument or keeping the pain alive instead of finding effective ways to sooth, calm, and make peace with it...  I do think that's unhealthy and it worries me when I see someone appear to be doing that.   (One good commentary on "letting go of loss," although there are many:  "You May Mourn, But Don't Succumb to the Victim Role" at link:  http://ezinearticles.com/?You-May-Mourn,-But-Dont-Succumb-to-the-Victim-Role&id=5476832.)   However, that's a sensitive, complicated aspect of mourning, and I know I'm not qualified to judge.

          In defense of the posts on the existing thread, I don't post there often but for me it's been a place to add an article, quote, etc., now and then for those who recently have lost a loved one or who found their pain suddenly re-heightened due to an event, something of that nature.   I think the title ("Delayed Grief") isn't the best one -- the original poster was indeed discussing the concept that grief that can hit us later, after the fact...  but now the thread's being used as a gathering place for general grief info or thoughts.   

          I wish I could support @adoreqvc in her request, but I need to agree with those who say it's not especially appropriate for QVC to dedicate a sub-forum to this topic.    A thread now and then, in "Wellness" or in "Among Friends," or wherever a poster feels comfortable, to share, vent, encourage and support -- that's wonderful, and it's an example of what's good about this Community.

          I hope none of my comments come across as judgmental.   It's a complex topic, and my heart goes out to all who miss their loved ones.

[Moonchilde]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I took a look at the Delayed Grief thread. A lot of it seems to be people whose loved ones died years ago, who have continued to "grieve" to the point that it seems to have assumed a regular place in their everyday life and become a part of them. To me that isn't grieving, it's obsession with the loved one's death.  Almost making oneself feel bad on a regular basis (holidays, etc) as a sort of penance/monument to memory.  

I don't think most people grieve in such a protracted way. I now view the OP's request as a monument to a "cult of grieving." And I understand QVC's silence on the matter.

This is just how I view what the OP has said, and the posts I saw in the other thread. I'm not trying to insult them or "be mean", but I don't feel that choice is a healthy one, and such a thread only supports the unhealthy aspect.

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          Since I occasionally post on the thread in question, I'll respond both in defense and also in agreement, @Moonchilde.    We've all experienced grief, and I'm not ever going to try and judge someone.   While we share it in common we also have our own individual path.   To your point about making it a sort of monument or keeping the pain alive instead of finding effective ways to sooth, calm, and make peace with it...  I do think that's unhealthy and it worries me when I see someone appear to be doing that.   (One good commentary on "letting go of loss," although there are many:  "You May Mourn, But Don't Succumb to the Victim Role" at link:  http://ezinearticles.com/?You-May-Mourn,-But-Dont-Succumb-to-the-Victim-Role&id=5476832.)   However, that's a sensitive, complicated aspect of mourning, and I know I'm not qualified to judge.

          In defense of the posts on the existing thread, I don't post there often but for me it's been a place to add an article, quote, etc., now and then for those who recently have lost a loved one or who found their pain suddenly re-heightened due to an event, something of that nature.   I think the title ("Delayed Grief") isn't the best one -- the original poster was indeed discussing the concept that grief that can hit us later, after the fact...  but now the thread's being used as a gathering place for general grief info or thoughts.   

          I wish I could support @adoreqvc in her request, but I need to agree with those who say it's not especially appropriate for QVC to dedicate a sub-forum to this topic.    A thread now and then, in "Wellness" or in "Among Friends," or wherever a poster feels comfortable, to share, vent, encourage and support -- that's wonderful, and it's an example of what's good about this Community.

          I hope none of my comments come across as judgmental.   It's a complex topic, and my heart goes out to all who miss their loved ones.

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@dooBdoo, I totally agree with your entire post. 😍

[KALLIE]

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@qbetzforreal wrote:

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@1jenniferjuniper wrote:

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@adoreqvc wrote:

QVC already decided this was a very valuable contribution to all QVC Members experiencing grief and losing a loved one.

QVC already read the entire Delayed Grief Thread and email replied back to me that they were in agreement that this Delayed Grief thread was a QVC asset, shared very important information, and would help any QVC Member who lost a loved one understand about taking their own grief journey, share our own grief journey experiences with each other, and after a while...... finally reach acceptance and begin to heal.

This QVC Delayed Grief Thread has been active on the current QVC Community Forums, since QVC opened and this thread continues to be a source of sharing, understanding, compassion, helpful advice, and healing for so many QVC Members.

It truly is an asset to the QVC Community, and has already helped so many on the former QVC bb's, and will continue to help many more here.

This the reason why QVC decided to move part of The Delayed Grief Thread here, when they formulated our current QVC Community Forum.

This QVC Delayed Grief thread is about helping QVC Members who lost a loved one, as it helped me survive losing my loved ones.

This QVC Delayed Grief Thread also helped so many other QVC Members get through, learn about, and understand how to deal with their own personal grief journeys.

This QVC Delayed Grief Thread was instrumental in the sharing of our Grief, and our own personal Grief Journey experiences, which allowed us to get through very confusing, sad, and most difficult times of grief.

Unfortunately no one lives forever, which is exactly why this thread should always remain displayed on the QVC bb's, but hopefully under the Community Menu.

Those who would like to share on the QVC Delayed Grief Thread can freely do so, and those who have negative feelings, have the option of Freedom of Choice, and can by pass it.  

QVC has always been very compassionate and caring, and will continue to exhibit those wonderful humane traits, and I for one am very grateful to QVC for their  continued understanding of just how very valuable this Delayed Grief Thread is to all of QVC and their QVC Members who lost a loved one.

It all comes down to being human and possessing the human traits of compassion, caring, and the willingness to help other QVC Members understand, walk through, share with each other, and eventually heal at the end of their various grief journeys via the QVC Grief Journey Thread and relative cyber communications. 

"Two other words also come to mind which are options and choices.... as is a given by our wise American Forefathers when they formulated various Laws for the People, and offered to the people Freedom of Choice".

I again thank QVC for all they have done to ensure this Delayed Grief Thread remains on QVC as they, I, and others who participated and continue to participate on the very active Delayed Grief Thread, all know just how important and what a valuable contribution it is for any QVC Member who enters their own grief journey, and loses their loved one.

"They need this QVC Delayed Grief Thread for many reasons listed above".

Another very important reason is for QVC Members to come here, and be able to click on the Delayed Grief Category under Wellness, and reach out to share with other QVC Members their own grief, and receive QVC cyber friendship, encouragement, caring, compassion, understanding, and support from many who have walked the grief journey many times, as I, and other QVC Members have.

We we will continue to offer them the support they need, and  that in turn helps everyone in so many ways, and for that again I thank QVC!!!!!

 I never read your posts ...... TOO LONG!!

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and self-serving

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A PERFECT description of her LONG WINDED posts.

[Juniebugz]

I don't mind long posts if text is legible and they use paragraphs and all that jazz  but if they keep repeating the same thing a gazillion times in the post that's where I draw the line.

I don't see any justification for a separate grief forum.

Got enough categories already.

[Trinity11]

Out of respect for the people who are grieving that participate on the QVC forums, I think a sub-forum would not be of value. It has been shown on these forums that some people are less than kind and have no real interest in anything but demeaning people for their own personal jollies when people enumerate their troubles. It is a protective measure to guide people with grief to another venue to express themselves and obtain some relief from their pain. The QVC forums are not a good place to unload one's troubles.

Let it be known, though, that I think the OP's intentions are well meaning just ill advised.

[dooBdoo]

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Trinity11 wrote:

Out of respect for the people who are grieving that participate on the QVC forums, I think a sub-forum would not be of value. It has been shown on these forums that some people are less than kind and have no real interest in anything but demeaning people for their own personal jollies when people enumerate their troubles. It is a protective measure to guide people with grief to another venue to express themselves and obtain some relief from their pain. The QVC forums are not a good place to unload one's troubles.

Let it be known, though, that I think the OP's intentions are well meaning just ill advised.

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           @Trinity11,   You make such important points here.    I also should've stressed that I do think @adoreqvc's heart is in the right place, her intent is well-meaning.