@ShopperL wrote:
I've been blessed that my daughter was on several lacrosse teams that were phemominal. The coaches never ran up the scores on the other team. The parents even started to cheer for the opponents when they did score or have a good play. It is great that these girls commit to playing a sport and put in the time. It is a downer to play a top team and get crushed. As parents we realized that and tried to keep the spirit up on the opposing team. For the high school state championship playoffs, one team is picked as the best fans. They do this to try to keep the peace and ward off any team rivalry/fights. The three times my kids won states they also won the best fans. The last year or two the changes to the brackets made the final game very lopesided. We ended up cheering for the oponnents later in the game. Even if you are in a championship game, you don't want to be blown out.
When my daughter was in college, my husband and I continued this practice for teams that were being destroyed. The rest of the parents quickly followed our lead and realized that supporting the young ladies in their sport was important, even on the opposing team. Many times their parents were not represented at the games as they had traveled from their college.
It is a game. Played by young ladies. None will ever be professional players. There isn't any big money involved. Let's make sure everyone leaves with their dignity.
@ShopperL I think it is wonderful what you have said, and I admire you compassion. You have done some wonderful things for other kids as well as your own!
I also believe (soapbox ahead warning here--please take the following in context and not that I am talking to the person above--who I truly admire and appreciate--the following is a general comment and pertains to on- and off-field in general): I believe sometimes now there is another success story of sports that maybe gets lost along the way. Sometimes you meet people who are just better at something than you are or even just get more breaks than you did, had more luck that day. And that's ok too.
If you get stomped in a ballgame, leaving with your dignity means you accept loss, congratulate the winner, don't make excuses, and can live with the fact that you lost, but it doesn't mean you are less of a person. It forces you to look at defeat and put it in perspective in your life. Most of us do face crushing defeat at some point, but it's what we do afterward that counts.
It teaches you to accept defeat as a part of life and live to play (or work) another day. It also helps you understand what you are good at and not good at. It gives you the opportunity to get better, change course, and honestly evaluate what you are doing. And it's all ok.
Sports teaches about winning and losing. It's about what self esteem and value as a human is and that it lies within us, not defined by others or scores.
Body image, prejudices, etc. we all are affected by them, but it's how we process it that matters and finding what true success is.
I am happy that I have seen Coach Stoops at Oklahoma help players even after football, after injuries, and he believes his true success as a coach lies most in the lives of the players and how they go forward and pass along the blessings.
Decades ago I lost a dear friend who was a pro athlete and went off the path. I believe with all my heart that more perspective and help in understanding "it ain't over 'til it's over" might have saved his life. So forgive me if it's an issue for me. But winning or losing to me is a secondary skill to getting back up.