Q Talk

[Spurt]

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

I'm overweight and forgot about what she said the day she said it.

I'm torn on this.  What she said was wrong, rude, disgusting, mean, and ridiculous.  One of the last few things that it's ok to make fun of in our society is being overweight.  It's wrong and hurts people.  

At the same time, she didn't incite violence, bigotry, and hate like so many in the public eye these days.  Where are those who are upset with Rinna when people say those things?  Yes, she said something totally rude and insensitive and mean.  

If we fired everyone for what they say on their own time, there wouldn't be anyone on Q.  I thought Joan Rivers was much worse with what she said about others.  It could also be that it has nothing to do with her contract.

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IMO, her words DID incite bigotry & hate toward people who are overweight.

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Bingo. Overweight people are discriminated against in so many ways and it's legal. People still feel 'safe' saying terrible things about overweight people, and that's sad to me. Hate is hate.

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@ChynnaBlue  Case in point is former NBA player and current TNT NBA Analyst, Charles Barkley, who loves to call all the women in our city fat, saying all the women sit around eating tons of deep fried charros.......Our mayor even issued a statement asking him to cease and desist.....the only comment is generated from Charles and his cohorts was our mayor "was hot looking" (and btw she's thin).....

What is ironic is Barkley is no Mr. Universe himself, and seemed to gain the weight he lost when ended his time as a Weight Watchers spokesperson.....AND he claims he is against ALL forms of discrimination and will stand up for the rights of others......"sir" Charles you are an idiot.....

[Spurt]

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@febe1 wrote:

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@Reba055 wrote:

I hate to say this because I hope it doesn't sound insensitive. Some people (I know one) have a very distorted, scary view on overweight people. I think, jmho, at least the person I know, it stems from THEIR insecurities with their own weight issues. Lisa is very thin. I wonder if she has this problem. To me, it's almost like an eating disorder, and they have to view being overweight as vile and disgusting to maintain their own weight. 

Not saying this is Lisa, not saying it's ok. But I do think the person I know fits that to a T. 

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I agree with you, @Reba055. I've heard Lisa called Anorexic several times on Housewives and I've never heard her deny it. If she does have an eating disorder, she would think almost everybody was fat and hate fat.

She also referred to women as "cat" women. Now, who is going to get insulted b/c they have cats.

I don't think anyone should be destroyed b/c of what she said. If you are offended, show it with your $$$.

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@febe1  So how are those of us that never liked her stuff in the first place and never spent our $$$ on her junk and never watched her shows--- what are we supposed to do to express our displeasure to QVC.....we can write, call (which I've already done) and make a little noise on the Forums, which was created in part to gather customer feedback...

[KingstonsMom]

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@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

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@Perkup wrote:

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@GSPgirl wrote:

Joan Rivers was always putting people down about weight and looks.  I remember when people on this board asked for QVC to get rid of her.  Maybe in QVC's eyes she didn't go over the line like Paula Deen did.  Just a thought. 

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Do I remember wrong or what?  I thought what Paula Deen said was said about 20 years ago.  Lots of things that were routinely used 20 years ago are not appropriate today.  If I am out in the yard when the group of four men come to do the yard across the street from me, I know one is named Michael and the other three are referred to (loud and strong and often) as the N word. It's what they call each other. So if it's so wrong and offensive, why do they use it all the time?  Poof me if you lilke - this is a legitimate question on my part.

As for Joan Rivers, she was known for her rudeness. But she made money for QVC's bottom line, so it was okay.  As for Lisa R.  I can do without her, her comments and her clothes.  BTW the dress she had on at Super Saturday was entirely too revealing for a Saturday morning show.  Disgusting as usual.

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@Perkup Paula deen was not let go because of the N word. She had multiple lawsuits pending because of restaurant problems both her restaurants and her brothers. 

She also didn't mind that her brother was watching p**n on the computer in full view of the wait staff. Those were the problems....not her one word!

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@proudlyfromNJ

BTW, those lawsuits were proven to be untrue by a court of law. Google it.

The "porn watching" was just a claim, later proven to be untrue, as was another lawsuit from a disgruntled employee.

Interestingly, most of her employees were black and every one of them testified on her behalf.

[itiswhatitis]

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@Perkup wrote:

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@GSPgirl wrote:

Joan Rivers was always putting people down about weight and looks.  I remember when people on this board asked for QVC to get rid of her.  Maybe in QVC's eyes she didn't go over the line like Paula Deen did.  Just a thought. 

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Do I remember wrong or what?  I thought what Paula Deen said was said about 20 years ago.  Lots of things that were routinely used 20 years ago are not appropriate today.  If I am out in the yard when the group of four men come to do the yard across the street from me, I know one is named Michael and the other three are referred to (loud and strong and often) as the N word. It's what they call each other. So if it's so wrong and offensive, why do they use it all the time?  Poof me if you lilke - this is a legitimate question on my part.

As for Joan Rivers, she was known for her rudeness. But she made money for QVC's bottom line, so it was okay.  As for Lisa R.  I can do without her, her comments and her clothes.  BTW the dress she had on at Super Saturday was entirely too revealing for a Saturday morning show.  Disgusting as usual.

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 Lots of things that were routinely used 20 years ago are not appropriate today. "

Don't you mean 50 years ago?

[itiswhatitis]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Perkup wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@Perkup wrote:

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@GSPgirl wrote:

Joan Rivers was always putting people down about weight and looks.  I remember when people on this board asked for QVC to get rid of her.  Maybe in QVC's eyes she didn't go over the line like Paula Deen did.  Just a thought. 

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Do I remember wrong or what?  I thought what Paula Deen said was said about 20 years ago.  Lots of things that were routinely used 20 years ago are not appropriate today.  If I am out in the yard when the group of four men come to do the yard across the street from me, I know one is named Michael and the other three are referred to (loud and strong and often) as the N word. It's what they call each other. So if it's so wrong and offensive, why do they use it all the time?  Poof me if you lilke - this is a legitimate question on my part.

As for Joan Rivers, she was known for her rudeness. But she made money for QVC's bottom line, so it was okay.  As for Lisa R.  I can do without her, her comments and her clothes.  BTW the dress she had on at Super Saturday was entirely too revealing for a Saturday morning show.  Disgusting as usual.

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Assuming that these hypothetical four men are AA, if you don't see the difference between their using a word with one another and others using it as a racial slur, there is probably no way to make you understand the different dynamic.

And unfortunately, your POV has become a defense of indefensible language used against others.

IMO, we seem to be losing some ground when it comes to kindness and empathy toward others and toward groups to which we don't belong. Blame goes in many directions for this, but I think a lack of kindness, empathy, and just plain common sense and logic, along with exploitation of those amidst us who are just plain angry, has become the calling card of a particular.....

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I understand your point; however apparently you didn't quite understand mine.  I am asking a serious question without malice or any misunderstanding of the meanings involved.  My question is simply, why, considering the negative impact of the word, do people who should share those strong feelings still continue to use it so freely within their own ethnicity. For me, it is a serious question. I would really like to understand.

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Your question is a good one that has been discussed and debated at great length. Yes, it is a serious question, one that has no easy answers. It involves understanding how the word can be used in different ways by different people.

But to your point, is it okay for those who have been discriminated against in every way possible and are now living in a society that has only relatively recently moved away from systematic and institutional bigotry to use the word among themselves? Again, no easy answer.

Please read the FOLLOWING for what I think is an thoughtful and insightful piece on this very subject.

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Society remains virtually the same in this regard.  Systemic institutional racism (not bigotry) is alive and well in the United States. That should be part of the overall discussion.

[febe1]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@febe1 wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

I'm overweight and forgot about what she said the day she said it.

I'm torn on this.  What she said was wrong, rude, disgusting, mean, and ridiculous.  One of the last few things that it's ok to make fun of in our society is being overweight.  It's wrong and hurts people.  

At the same time, she didn't incite violence, bigotry, and hate like so many in the public eye these days.  Where are those who are upset with Rinna when people say those things?  Yes, she said something totally rude and insensitive and mean.  

If we fired everyone for what they say on their own time, there wouldn't be anyone on Q.  I thought Joan Rivers was much worse with what she said about others.  It could also be that it has nothing to do with her contract.

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IMO, her words DID incite bigotry & hate toward people who are overweight.

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Bingo. Overweight people are discriminated against in so many ways and it's legal. People still feel 'safe' saying terrible things about overweight people, and that's sad to me. Hate is hate.

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Cigarette smokers are hated and discriminated as much as anybody.

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Seriously? We're now including those whose habit not only affects them but all of us, who either end up paying more insurance or get sick from continual exposure?

That's not either hatred or discrimination; it's called good public health policy.

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Obesity affects "all of us" in that it exceeds smoking in health care costs, which we all pay for.

Obesity Now Costs Americans More In HealthCare ... - Forbes

www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/04/30/obesity-now-costs...

Apr 30, 2012 · ... exceeding smoking as public health enemy ... Journal of Health Economics. Obese women ... toward their health insurance benefit should ...

[febe1]

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@Spurt wrote:

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@febe1 wrote:

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@Reba055 wrote:

I hate to say this because I hope it doesn't sound insensitive. Some people (I know one) have a very distorted, scary view on overweight people. I think, jmho, at least the person I know, it stems from THEIR insecurities with their own weight issues. Lisa is very thin. I wonder if she has this problem. To me, it's almost like an eating disorder, and they have to view being overweight as vile and disgusting to maintain their own weight. 

Not saying this is Lisa, not saying it's ok. But I do think the person I know fits that to a T. 

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I agree with you, @Reba055. I've heard Lisa called Anorexic several times on Housewives and I've never heard her deny it. If she does have an eating disorder, she would think almost everybody was fat and hate fat.

She also referred to women as "cat" women. Now, who is going to get insulted b/c they have cats.

I don't think anyone should be destroyed b/c of what she said. If you are offended, show it with your $$$.

---

@febe1  So how are those of us that never liked her stuff in the first place and never spent our $$$ on her junk and never watched her shows--- what are we supposed to do to express our displeasure to QVC.....we can write, call (which I've already done) and make a little noise on the Forums, which was created in part to gather customer feedback...

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If enough people are offended, withholding $$ and not purchasing from the Q at all would seem enough displeasure, @Spurt.

[Moonchilde]

Re: Paula Deen - IMO, what was "okay to say" (or do, or think) 20 years ago vs. today is irrelevant. 

It's not okay now - and really, it never has been "okay" to say, or think, racist/bigoted thoughts. It was ACCEPTED in many areas because the voting majority in that time and place all believed it was the way things should be. It was ALLOWED for the same reasons. It's TOLERATED now by people who STILL BELIEVE it. It's not tolerated by anyone else.

If "that's what everybody said back then", it doesn't mean that "back then" they weren't racists/bigots, it just means it was "okay" to say it because you & your friends and neighbors felt the same. And if they're still saying it today, when theoretically they should be aware that it's wrong on more than one level, they still believe it. 

[suzyQ3]

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@febe1 wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@febe1 wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

I'm overweight and forgot about what she said the day she said it.

I'm torn on this.  What she said was wrong, rude, disgusting, mean, and ridiculous.  One of the last few things that it's ok to make fun of in our society is being overweight.  It's wrong and hurts people.  

At the same time, she didn't incite violence, bigotry, and hate like so many in the public eye these days.  Where are those who are upset with Rinna when people say those things?  Yes, she said something totally rude and insensitive and mean.  

If we fired everyone for what they say on their own time, there wouldn't be anyone on Q.  I thought Joan Rivers was much worse with what she said about others.  It could also be that it has nothing to do with her contract.

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IMO, her words DID incite bigotry & hate toward people who are overweight.

---

Bingo. Overweight people are discriminated against in so many ways and it's legal. People still feel 'safe' saying terrible things about overweight people, and that's sad to me. Hate is hate.

---

Cigarette smokers are hated and discriminated as much as anybody.

---

Seriously? We're now including those whose habit not only affects them but all of us, who either end up paying more insurance or get sick from continual exposure?

That's not either hatred or discrimination; it's called good public health policy.

---

Obesity affects "all of us" in that it exceeds smoking in health care costs, which we all pay for.

Obesity Now Costs Americans More In HealthCare ... - Forbes

www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/04/30/obesity-now-costs...

Apr 30, 2012 · ... exceeding smoking as public health enemy ... Journal of Health Economics. Obese women ... toward their health insurance benefit should ...

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Okay. I'm not really understanding your point, though, because I was responding only to your statement that smokers are hated and discriminated against. I inferred from this that you might somehow be offended by society's steps to limit it in terms of exposing others.

Both smoking and obesity are major problems that do need to be addressed. But the latter is, IMO, more complex in terms of solutions. Whereas we can limit smoking in order to reduce dangerous exposure and maybe help reduce the number of smokers through educational programs, we cannot legally or morally force people to lose weight.

[febe1]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@febe1 wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@febe1 wrote:

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@ChynnaBlue wrote:

---

@KingstonsMom wrote:

---

@CalminHeart wrote:

I'm overweight and forgot about what she said the day she said it.

I'm torn on this.  What she said was wrong, rude, disgusting, mean, and ridiculous.  One of the last few things that it's ok to make fun of in our society is being overweight.  It's wrong and hurts people.  

At the same time, she didn't incite violence, bigotry, and hate like so many in the public eye these days.  Where are those who are upset with Rinna when people say those things?  Yes, she said something totally rude and insensitive and mean.  

If we fired everyone for what they say on their own time, there wouldn't be anyone on Q.  I thought Joan Rivers was much worse with what she said about others.  It could also be that it has nothing to do with her contract.

---

IMO, her words DID incite bigotry & hate toward people who are overweight.

---

Bingo. Overweight people are discriminated against in so many ways and it's legal. People still feel 'safe' saying terrible things about overweight people, and that's sad to me. Hate is hate.

---

Cigarette smokers are hated and discriminated as much as anybody.

---

Seriously? We're now including those whose habit not only affects them but all of us, who either end up paying more insurance or get sick from continual exposure?

That's not either hatred or discrimination; it's called good public health policy.

---

Obesity affects "all of us" in that it exceeds smoking in health care costs, which we all pay for.

Obesity Now Costs Americans More In HealthCare ... - Forbes

www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/04/30/obesity-now-costs...

Apr 30, 2012 · ... exceeding smoking as public health enemy ... Journal of Health Economics. Obese women ... toward their health insurance benefit should ...

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Okay. I'm not really understanding your point, though, because I was responding only to your statement that smokers are hated and discriminated against. I inferred from this that you might somehow be offended by society's steps to limit it in terms of exposing others.

Both smoking and obesity are major problems that do need to be addressed. But the latter is, IMO, more complex in terms of solutions. Whereas we can limit smoking in order to reduce dangerous exposure and maybe help reduce the number of smokers through educational programs, we cannot legally or morally force people to lose weight.

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My point was exactly what I said in the beginning that you thought was incredible: Smoking is discriminating just as is fat. And it is hate and discrimination....