Q Talk

[dooBdoo]

              Genuine constructive criticism/feedback  is important and essential and it is given with the intent to help, to edify, and to enlighten -- to benefit someone, not to embarrass or demean them.   

              It does not attack the person, it is not delivered with a tone of disdain, scorn, or indulging in ripping and shredding jabs and barbs of sarcasm.    Is our goal to help or to hurt?

              If couched in a cloud of negativity or harshness, it's ineffective as a teaching tool since that kind of tone is a huge turn-off -- it muffles the message and the recipient can't benefit to any great extent.   It's human nature to recoil from that kind of delivery.  

              The anonymity of the internet allows a certain element of society to cower behind a nickname and get a certain adrenaline rush from trying to insult others...  it's unfortunate but a fact of life.   

              And often we see the very same people who act that way also complaining that "the younger generation has no sense of respect or courtesy to others" -- perhaps we need to stop and think about who taught the "younger generation" their communication skills and what kind of example we present for them to see and emulate.   

              On these very forums I've seen people mocked and ridiculed for being "nice," "kind," as if that's something to sneer at. 

              Just because we can be cruelly critical doesn't mean we should, but it's far easier to be nasty than to take time to be more mindful with our words.   

              In the end, the way we offer up our feedback reflects back on us, it speaks to our own integrity and character,  and it says nothing about the person we target.   

              I agree that no one should be directing us not to offer genuine constructive criticism/feedback.    I also feel that it would be terrific if the goal is to share good information and to allow everyone to walk away with their dignity intact.   Win-win!😊

              "Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit — the parallel powers of your heart and mind — better than how you give feedback."  ~Maria Popova, author

[Mlsg]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

              Genuine constructive criticism/feedback  is important and essential and it is given with the intent to help, to edify, and to enlighten -- to benefit someone, not to embarrass or demean them.   

              It does not attack the person, it is not delivered with a tone of disdain, scorn, or indulging in ripping and shredding jabs and barbs of sarcasm.    Is our goal to help or to hurt?

              If couched in a cloud of negativity or harshness, it's ineffective as a teaching tool since that kind of tone is a huge turn-off -- it muffles the message and the recipient can't benefit to any great extent.   It's human nature to recoil from that kind of delivery.  

              The anonymity of the internet allows a certain element of society to cower behind a nickname and get a certain adrenaline rush from trying to insult others...  it's unfortunate but a fact of life.   

              And often we see the very same people who act that way also complaining that "the younger generation has no sense of respect or courtesy to others" -- perhaps we need to stop and think about who taught the "younger generation" their communication skills and what kind of example we present for them to see and emulate.   

              On these very forums I've seen people mocked and ridiculed for being "nice," "kind," as if that's something to sneer at. 

              Just because we can be cruelly critical doesn't mean we should, but it's far easier to be nasty than to take time to be more mindful with our words.   

              In the end, the way we offer up our feedback reflects back on us, it speaks to our own integrity and character,  and it says nothing about the person we target.   

              I agree that no one should be directing us not to offer genuine constructive criticism/feedback.    I also feel that it would be terrific if the goal is to share good information and to allow everyone to walk away with their dignity intact.   Win-win!😊

              "Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit — the parallel powers of your heart and mind — better than how you give feedback."  ~Maria Popova, author

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@dooBdoo

Bravo! Thank you! You post exactly what I would post but I cannot express myself like you.

[forsythia1]

I like Cathy Pedrayes.  

That being said, I would think anyone who talks for a living would have a better pronunciation of everyday words.

Leaving out the "t" sound in the word button, is  laziness on her part.

[CalminHeart]

Usually, people who criticize someone else's pronunciation, hair, clothes, makeup, size, etc, need to do so to feel better about themselves.  I feel sorry for them that they're so consumed with trivial things in life.

[dooBdoo]

           Thank you for the lovely compliment, @Mlsg!    I think you express yourself beautifully, and I appreciate your contributions to the forums.   Have a lovely (and safe and warm!) weekend.🌻

[Mlsg]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

           Thank you for the lovely compliment, @Mlsg!    I think you express yourself beautifully, and I appreciate your contributions to the forums.   Have a lovely (and safe and warm!) weekend.🌻

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@dooBdoo Thank you! Yes I am ok about weather. I am in LA

[Northray]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@godi wrote:

This world is so different now. I would not want to be young at this time. I loved my childhood. We played, stayed out till the street lights came on. Used pay phones. It’s just scary and exciting all at the same time. 

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I am quite happy without pay phones, @godi

Yes, the world is different now. It's always different for every generation, and every older generation always bemoans that fact.

My young grandchildren are quite happy being young today.

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I'm happy being young today too but I would like a bit of rules, or a better word might be guidelines for guys and women to follow.  In the arena of relationships, I mean.  It's a confusing vortex of how to act anymore.