Pet Lovers

[rustysmom]

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@Sammycat1 wrote:

Monday p.m. report:  Fay Wray had a fairly contented day.  Those phosphorus binders really bound her up, but she felt better after a big trip to the litterbox.

Yet she seems a little weaker to us this evening. She required a little more pain medicine tonight.  We're fearful of our visit to the vet tomorrow at 5:30 p.m.  As I sit here playing "instrumental lullabies" on the Echo for her while she rests in her desktop bed, I wonder if this is the last night she'll enjoy in her home--a home filled with love showered on her every day for three years, the home she deserved all along but did not get until we came upon her five years into her life.

I don't want to go to sleep.  I want to stare at her and pet her and bring her water bowl to her lips. I want to watch her snug in different positions in her bed. The anger at her mistreatment that will cut her life woefully short, the fury at the mistreatment she suffered before we rescued her keeps boiling below the surface. 

We tried to be so attentive and give these girls the best care. But there will be no Easter this year, no Christmas, no change of the seasons to delight my girl. We are in a hospice situation as the vet said we'd be, so we're just trying to make it the best hospice situation a sick kitty could hope for.

My heart physically hurts, but I hide it from her.  Ironic at how we both hide our pain from one another.  I sob in the shower and in far corners of the house when the washing machine or dishwasher churn to mask my sorrow.

Forgive my rambling.  I'm scared for her, for us.  I know that we rescued her and gave her the love and care she should have had the day she came into the world--but the knowing doesn't soften the hurt, not at all.

All I can think of watching her sleep peacefully are part of the lyrics from the theme to the movie Armageddon, because I don't want to miss a thing:

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Every moment spent with you

Is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes

Don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing:

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My heart is breaking for you.  I can feel your pain and wish I could take it away.  Please know we are thinking of you and praying for you.  I know she can feel the love you have for her and she is blessed to have that and you are blessed to have her.  So sorry you have to go through this my friend.  

[Sammycat1]

Tuesday a.m. report:  It was a little tough on our girl at her 2 a.m. Feeding. Once she's been sleeping for awhile, her tongue gets dry and stiff, and we have to encourage her to drink cold water to make it feel better so she can eat.

After she ate, she was tired and settled into an uncomfortable position in her desktop bed.

I couldn't leave Fay Wray like that, so I stayed with. We played her instrumental lullabies on the Echo and I sang her favorites while I pet her. After "twinkle twinkle little star," she adjusted and was able to close her eyes and sleep.

 This morning after our winter storm, she is alert and moving about the house.

Her vet appointment is 530 pm. We're anxious od course but focusing on giving her a comfortable, loving day in the only true home she's ever known.  What a privilege to care for and share life with this very special girl.

[Shop Till you Drop]

Oh Dear Sammy,  I so understand exactly what you wrote.  The not wanting to go to sleep because you might miss just one tiny thing your baby needs.  I held Jake in my arms and patted his back and talked to him the last 72 hours of his life.  I only put him down to slip him into Moms arms so I could take a quick bathroom break and drink a quick bottle of water.  Other than that, he was attached to me.  We rocked and rocked, Joey sharing my lap sometimes to spend time with his brother.  I dint dare close my eyes, nor did Jake.  When his breathing changed and his eyes closed, I new his final rest was coming.  I took refuge in  that chair after he passed, I couldnt leave the rocker, I continued to rock at least another 8 hours, I could still feel his breathe against my neck, my ear, my cheeks.  That memory will never leave me, and I feel so blessed that I was his puppy mom.

I know your Beloved Fay Wray feels exactly the same way.  Blessed and Loved, I am so sorry you are having to go through  this.  Hugs my broken hearted friend.

[Sammycat1]

In addition to today's morning report, I thought you'd enjoy this photo of Fay Wray snug and tucked in to her desktop bed between me and DH.  Moments of comfort for her like this are what it's all about:

[Shop Till you Drop]

Peaceful sleep..The very best..

[KitTkat]

@Sammycat1 you should be at your appointment right now, and I wanted you to know I'm here praying. Just remember, when all hope is gone, love still keeps going strong. I Believe in miracles, and I believe in Fay Wray. ❤❤❤

[Tissyanne]

@Sammycat1,, 

Sending prayers for comfort, to you, and your Fay Wray. 

[Sammycat1]

Evening vet report:  Our appointment was slightly delayed due to surgery.  The vet thinks she is holding her own.  Her kidney values did not tank horribly since Friday, but they were off from her discharge from the hospital last Thursday evening.  I was so tense at this appointment that later by sides hurt horribly; I didn't realize I'd been that clenched up.

We're changing up her fluids and med routines in the hopes that this will help and the vet is going to call a veterinary dental specialist to see what else can be done about her tongue ulcer. Theoretically, the better the kidneys do, the better that ulcer will do.

Of course we have to be realistic. She will not rebound out of renal failure, but that's OK.  We just want her comfortable and enjoying her quality time in her own home.  So keep those prayers coming that it's possible for our girl.

Quality over quantity, every time. Even if I am a bit greedy and want quantity, too:

[Mistic]

She is one Beautiful Kitty.  Your candle remains burning for all of you.  I do hope you can get some rest, too.  {{{Gentle Hugs}}}

[Sammycat1]

@Mistic

Ha ha, rest!  She needs to be fed in the middle of the night to keep her fluids up (and keep her drinking, too--water helps that ulcer).  DH must return to his office tomorrow. I'm recovering from knee replacement surgery so I'm on duty.  And I'm happy to do it.