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09-02-2014 04:47 PM
You've got to let them fly - they need to become their own person!! Don't let worrying about next year impact the time you have together now though. One day at a time!
09-02-2014 04:54 PM
What are you interested in? Now would be a good time to take some cooking classes, cake decorating, crochet, knitting, jewelry making, sewing...With your husband/man friend/sister/cousin whomever you can or by yourself. When my daughter started driving & didn't need me around as much I knew I needed to do something. I was the Mom that was always available to drive her & her friends to school/social things & I loved it, but I knew that they weren't going to need me around nearly as much. So start thinking about what you want to do. Paint/redecorate your house? Landscape? Just anything that you enjoy. She will be great!
09-02-2014 04:54 PM
Put it in perspective perhaps thinking back to other times you wondered "how will I do this?" and how you made it through those times. Do you remember being nervous about becoming a mother and how you were going to raise a child? Do you have more than one child and worry about how you could love a second as much as you did your first? Have you ever lost a pet you loved and lived with for many years?
Also, try to find some advantages. Maybe more time for yourself, less messes around the house, maybe making dinners that you didn't before because she wouldn't eat that particular food.
Your job as a mother isn't over, it's just changing. You will create new ways of communicating long distance. You will have fun sending care packages and making things special when she comes home on breaks. Also, some colleges and universities have parent groups, especially for freshman parents. You're not alone! When you drop her off at her dorm you will see legions of parents going through the same experience!
09-02-2014 05:02 PM
09-02-2014 05:07 PM
09-02-2014 05:10 PM
09-02-2014 05:12 PM
Oh, my dear, I do sympathize with you! Something you might want to do is find out what security measures the college has (the school she's interested in), and does she know self-defense? Don't want to be an alarmist here, but. . . .
Our two daughters went off to college when we lived in Utah years ago. One went to Minnesota for school, the other to Hawaii. They both did fine, and we truly didn't worry about them much at all, very self-reliant girls.
Our baby, our son, wanted to go to a college in WA state, and that was fine with us. We drove up, saw his digs, said goodbye after checking his dorm room and so forth, and left.
BUT enroute home, I burst into tears and cried uncontrollably for a while. No particular reason I could dredge up. He was our youngest--maybe that was the reason? He was also a very sensitive boy. A few months before he went to college, he came up to our bedroom and said, "Mom, I've just realized that when I go to college, you and Dad will be all alone." I stifled a giggle and told him we'd try to rise above it, etc. (We'd been fervently looking forward to our empty nest for several years!!!!)
You'll be fine. Just know you're among millions of parents seeing their children off somewhere and putting them into the hands of administrators and professors. It's broadening for children to be in another place, where they're on their own, doing their own laundry, managing their class work, and so on. ~Adele
09-02-2014 05:13 PM
Don't worry about it. Be excited for her and enjoy the ride. It might be rough sometimes, but this is what you raised her for--to be her own person and not live at home her entire life! It is exciting, and be excited and happy for HER! And find some things to occupy your time!
She is going to have a great time on her own--and so should you! Few kids don't have a good time away! My mom tried to make me go to a local junior college, but my dad thought I should go to a major university away and try my wings. Thank goodness for his love and support and willingness to support my decision.
09-02-2014 05:15 PM
09-02-2014 05:25 PM
Think how you want your daughter to remember you. Do you want to be remembered as a clingy Mom or one that trusted she was going to handle being away from home just fine. I am a single Mother of two children. My oldest went away to a state university fairly close. My son during his freshman year in high school announced he wanted to go live with his Dad. That one really devastated me but I kept on thinking how do I want him to remember me? As confident in him or clingy. I never wanted to be that Mother who would by being clingy made the child feel bad for growing up and wanting to go do their thing.
It's her time. Let her enjoy it no matter how hard it is for you.
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