What would you do if your grown child - Page 5

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Puggywuggy wrote:
I have a son and he frequently forgets, but he's a good son and I know he loves me. I have a daughter who goes out of her way to do special things for her father and does very little for my birthday and it's generally several weeks late. One year my Christmas gift was two years after Christmas was over, lol.

@panda1234
I hope that this is simply an oversight on your son's part and I am sorry that you were forgotten on your Special Day! I know how it feels to be intentionally slighted by one of your children and I sincerely hope that this is not the case for you. ❤️

@Puggywuggy @I feel bad for you. How awful. We do so much for our kids. I have noticed the parents that don't do much for their kids are fussed over by their children for birthdays and holidays.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Janey2 wrote:
I have to add...how does he act all the other days of the year? If he is a good son maybe he really just forgot. Life sometimes gets really busy for some people.

@Janey2 @I think his wife prompts him for a different things in this time she decided she wasn't gonna do that.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Janey2 wrote:
So sorry this happened. I would be upset. Maybe he sent a card and it just did not come today. He should have called even if he sent a card.I if you do not hear from him by tomorrow I would probably forget his birthday.

@Janey2 Boy I would love to do that, but my husband wouldn't allow it.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Bonkers1 wrote:
I personally would feel hurt and then annoyed. I also would call him and asked if he wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday - he might be apologetic.

@Bonkers1 I really think I am going to call, but I have to come myself down first.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@panda1234 wrote:
did not acknowledge your birthday via text,phone call or card?

@panda1234 Have you posted before about the son, wife and her mother traveling without you? Or am I confusing you with someone else. If so, sorry! And I am sorry you are hurt and disappointed.

In any case, I wouldn't confront someone about missing my birthday. Because then if they remembered, I'd feel like just because I called them on it.

I think with family sometimes our expectations don't compare with the reality of relationships, and you can't judge relationships by a yard stick of perfection. Think about what is the best you can expect and then think about how you can adjust.

Maybe make a point of calling him the day before or on your birthday, talk about your birthday and how you are going to spend it, and say that part of your birthday joy is talking to him. Maybe that would solve the issue. I hope you can get some peace from the disappointment and give him the benefit of the doubt.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Venezia wrote:
@panda1234 - You don't say whether this is a one-off occurrence or whether he never remembers your birthday. That makes a big difference, IMO.

@Venezia Well last year. It was a text message at 9:30 at night. I really don't know what to think.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Sooner wrote:
@panda1234 wrote:
did not acknowledge your birthday via text,phone call or card?
@panda1234 Have you posted before about the son, wife and her mother traveling without you? Or am I confusing you with someone else. If so, sorry! And I am sorry you are hurt and disappointed.

In any case, I wouldn't confront someone about missing my birthday. Because then if they remembered, I'd feel like just because I called them on it.

I think with family sometimes our expectations don't compare with the reality of relationships, and you can't judge relationships by a yard stick of perfection. Think about what is the best you can expect and then think about how you can adjust.

Maybe make a point of calling him the day before or on your birthday, talk about your birthday and how you are going to spend it, and say that part of your birthday joy is talking to him. Maybe that would solve the issue. I hope you can get some peace from the disappointment and give him the benefit of the doubt.

@Sooner I love what you said that our expectations Don't compare with the reality of relationships, so true. Are you a therapist? Everything you wrote was so well said but it doesn't change my feelings. a simple text message would've made me happy.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Carmie wrote:
Occasionally, one or more of my three adult children forget to acknowledge my birthday.

I am an adult and not a child. Birthdays are no big deal to me. It's just one day.

I appreciate that they stop in to visit or call just any old day of the week.

My children all work crazy shifts and they work unconventional hours. They have enough to do and sometimes time gets away from them.

It's not proof of love to acknowledge a birthday, Mother's Day or some other Hallmark day.

@Carmie You are right it is not proof of love to acknowledge a special day. I do go out of my way on everyone's birthday to make them feel special and all I am asking for is a simple text message or a card.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@KingstonMom wrote:
@panda1234 wrote:
@DSD2 wrote:
@Alsace Gal wrote:
@panda1234

I don't have children but if I did and this happened, I would sit down and cry.
Well stated @Alsace Gal

@panda1234 my heart goes out to you. I hope you have other family and/or friends who helped to make your birthday the special day it deserves.

@DSD2 @I guess that's part of the problem for me. I go out of my way to make each families members birthday a special day for them. The rest of my family and friends all made the day special in different ways and I appreciate that. I don't know if I should let this pass or confront him.

I would certainly let him know that it hurt your feelings so badly, that you cried. On your birthday, your special day.

@KingstonMom I am considering letting him know, but first I have to calm down myself.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@nekodaisy wrote:
My husband and I never made a big deal about our birthdays so neither of our kids do. No big deal for me. I would just sooner forget it but my husbands is 2 days before mine and I always try to remember his. Now when I had surgery that was a different story. My son never called me at all but when my husband has his surgery the following year he called him every day.

@nekodaisy that is definitely hurtful. I just don't understand why these things happen.