What age should baby start daycare? - Page 3

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Not sure about the age, but I'd choose a nice daycare very close to my work. That way, I could check in during lunch, etc. And spend more time with my child in the car on the way to and from work. Seems ideal to me.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Lynneuk · ‎03-10-2010

We never used daycare when our son was young. There is no way I could have left him as an infant plus I was breast feeding for over a year. My husband was in the Air Force so money was tight but we made it work.

My niece has been trying to have a baby for 11 years and finally had a successful pregnancy. We are all so thrilled for her. Her husband is a Therapist and they own several rental homes but she is going back to work and putting the baby in daycare at 3 months of age , I just don't get it! This will probably be her only child, why wouldn't she want to enjoy her? I asked her Mom and she said "oh, she couldn't stay at home, she'd go crazy."

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

The only factors I feel your daughter should look at are her job, the cost of childcare (if you aren't willing to drive 1.5 hours every day to provide it for free) and her future career plans. What a bunch of gals on a shopping board think is "best" is irrelevant to your daughter, and I'm sure she will let you know! I know many 50-year old empty nesters struggling to figure out what they enjoy now that the kids are gone...trying to reinvent themselves in a challenging and changing job market. If your daughter wants to hold onto her job and finds life value in her career, I think that everyone who loves her should help her figure out how to make it work as painlessly as possible.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

I did not want anyone else taking care of my infant. Babies usually lay in their cribs a lot in daycare. I would want to watch my grandchild at least some days a week.

I also hate seeing babies being carried in the car seat everywhere. For petes sake, pick the baby up and hug and carry it!!!!

tends2dogs · ‎05-08-2010

@colliegirls wrote:
I did not want anyone else taking care of my infant. Babies usually lay in their cribs a lot in daycare. I would want to watch my grandchild at least some days a week.

I also hate seeing babies being carried in the car seat everywhere. For petes sake, pick the baby up and hug and carry it!!!!

I so agree, Colliegirls! And while you are carrying them, put the &*%$# phone down and look at your childs face, not reading a text. People don't realize how precious that baby time is........and it flies by WAY TOO fast.

Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!

BlingQueen022 · ‎09-23-2012

@Heart of Spade wrote:
My answer is NEVER! Reading this made me really sad. No baby would "love" going to daycare. What little baby loves being away from it's mother at that age, all day long? That is something people say to themselves to relieve their guilt. When a baby appears to "love" going to daycare it's because it has developed a maternal bond with a total stranger. If I was the mother of that child, I'd feel really sad about that; certainly not happy. There is no way anyone will ever convince me a baby is going to receive the attention, nurturing, and love it needs to thrive while stuck in a daycare setting.

Furthermore, there is no study that says children in daycare (or even preschool) learned things that made them better prepared for school. Studies do show that, within the first few weeks of school, all the kids are essentially at the same place academically no matter what preschool education they have had.  And kids raised at home typically have better behavior and temperament because that haven't been raised in a survival of the fittest-type setting.

Doesn't anyone ever wonder if there is a correlation between the tremendous amount of ADHD/ADD diagnoses and the fact that so many of our kids are now raised in a daycare setting?

And at the end of the week, between what is spent on daycare and non-essential services and material possessions, I bet most people could afford to have one parent at home with the children. Maybe a part-time evening job would help with finances or parents working different shifts if both absolutely have to work.

None of this may seem ideal, but as a society, we have to stop thinking it's ok to have strangers raise our children!! Whose values and morals do you want instilled in your children? Yours or some person you don't even know?

Sorry if you disagree with me, but I think, deep down, you know I'm right.

How fortunate you are to not have to work after having a baby. Not everybody is loaded with money these days to have the luxury of not working and staying home. I hate women that degrade other women that have to work and earn a living after having a baby.

Anybody that can stay home and not work IS A LUXURY IN TODAY'S WORLD. No need to degrade a new mom for working.. i find that totally insensitive and disgusting!!!

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

Thank you BlingQueen022!

This is why I hadn't responded to my post. I asked at "what age do most babies start day care nowadays?" and most of the post made me feel that my ds and ddil are despicable people for wanting to start a family and needing two incomes to make a living. I explained that I myself did not work until my sons went to school and then I went to work in a school as a para so that I could be home when they were. Meantime dh worked round the clock, rarely seeing us so we could live. Yes, we made sacrifices and did without so that I could do this but our situation was different than my ds and ddil. First of all, we were in our 20's when we married. We never relied on my salary to live but for extras. We were married seven years without children and did not get a mortgage for ten years. By then ds' were two and three years old. I left nursing and worked part time on weekends and every holiday except Christmas and my mom and sister who live nearby helped me a great deal. My ds and wife live an hour and a half away from me. Both work for the government. They do not make a great deal of money. They have a mortgage, car payments and she still has a student loan. I had none of those things. I will NEVER regret staying home with my sons! I loved every minute of it! However, I sometimes have pangs of "is this all I get?" I still live in my first house. I was never able to go on elaborate vacations or have all the things that I see sometimes posted on here. Big, nice homes with all the seasonal decorations, etc. I've always lived within my means and while I'm grateful for what I have...I wonder why others seem to have so much. I just finished looking at Lena McIlwain's F page and seeing her vacations and how her dreams are coming true. There are others too. I scaled my dreams down a long time ago in order not to be disappointed and to be able to raise two beautiful and productive well mannered sons. They are very successful human beings that add goodness to the world. I know from their "being" that dh and I did a GREAT JOB! Yet there are times when I find myself wishing I could have some of the material things that others do. My ds and dil have only been married a year. They live in a very small condo. They are not by any means living extravagantly! They have to many obligations to just quit work. Does that mean they should not have children? Jobs are not easy to come by nowadays...anyone living in this country should know that. It took ds six years after college to get this job. These jobs are careers for them. I was a nurse and knew I could go back to work anytime. Sometimes I regret coming on here for advice. Not because it's not what I want to hear but some posters are very insensitive to the situations of others.(now let the bashing begin)smileysad:

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

BlingQueen022 · ‎09-23-2012

@Starpolisher wrote:
Thank you BlingQueen022!
This is why I hadn't responded to my post. I asked at "what age do most babies start day care nowadays?" and most of the post made me feel that my ds and ddil are despicable people for wanting to start a family and needing two incomes to make a living. I explained that I myself did not work until my sons went to school and then I went to work in a school as a para so that I could be home when they were. Meantime dh worked round the clock, rarely seeing us so we could live. Yes, we made sacrifices and did without so that I could do this but our situation was different than my ds and ddil. First of all, we were in our 20's when we married. We never relied on my salary to live but for extras. We were married seven years without children and did not get a mortgage for ten years. By then ds' were two and three years old. I left nursing and worked part time on weekends and every holiday except Christmas and my mom and sister who live nearby helped me a great deal. My ds and wife live an hour and a half away from me. Both work for the government. They do not make a great deal of money. They have a mortgage, car payments and she still has a student loan. I had none of those things. I will NEVER regret staying home with my sons! I loved every minute of it! However, I sometimes have pangs of "is this all I get?" I still live in my first house. I was never able to go on elaborate vacations or have all the things that I see sometimes posted on here. Big, nice homes with all the seasonal decorations, etc. I've always lived within my means and while I'm grateful for what I have...I wonder why others seem to have so much. I just finished looking at Lena McIlwain's F page and seeing her vacations and how her dreams are coming true. There are others too. I scaled my dreams down a long time ago in order not to be disappointed and to be able to raise two beautiful and productive well mannered sons. They are very successful human beings that add goodness to the world. I know from their "being" that dh and I did a GREAT JOB! Yet there are times when I find myself wishing I could have some of the material things that others do. My ds and dil have only been married a year. They live in a very small condo. They are not by any means living extravagantly! They have to many obligations to just quit work. Does that mean they should not have children? Jobs are not easy to come by nowadays...anyone living in this country should know that. It took ds six years after college to get this job. These jobs are careers for them. I was a nurse and knew I could go back to work anytime. Sometimes I regret coming on here for advice. Not because it's not what I want to hear but some posters are very insensitive to the situations of others.(now let the bashing begin)smileysad:

Hi there StarPolisher: I had a huge response to you, but for some reason it wouldn't post. Anyway, I couldn't agree with you more on what you just said here. I just don't understand why MOST women have to degrade a new mother for having to work after having a baby. They think it's so easy to stay home on a full time basis with the baby and they think the money is going to just fall off a tree to support them. It's beyond me. Things are different today. Everything costs two arms and a leg, medical costs are high, gas is high, mortagages are outrageous, etc. etc. In today's world it takes two people to run and maintain a household. Not everybody is fortunate enough to have a husband that makes boo coo bucks. The ones that are that fortunate, how lucky you are. I just cringe when I hear working moms being cut down so. It's a sore spot with me. I married a mechanic and I worked for the Federal government. Between us we made pretty good money, but to maintain a mortgage, car payments, medical bills, food, car insurance, etc.............well you know the rest we couldn't do it one salary and it was sometimes a struggle just to do it on two salaries. I did what I had to do to survive and some people just don't understand that. They never will.

Congratulations to your son and daughter-in-law for the new baby. I wish them much happiness and everybody for good health too. Enjoy your new grandchild.