I failed the test and it feels bad

dex · ‎03-09-2010

yesterday while in line at the grocery store I pushed my groceries ahead so a young female could put her things down.She said that the items were to bake her own birthday cake.I asked her about family and friends and she said her family was overseas and she was here to go to school.I gave her a hug and said happy birthday but that was it.I got home and thought why didn't I invite her to my house and bake the cake with her or buy a nice cake or something ...geesh it's not like I can't relate to how her mom must be feeling about not being there on a special day and I have felt the pain when my son was alone on a birthday.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I might have invited her to have coffee and a cupcake at a near by coffee shop, but I would never invite a stranger into my home, it's too risky.

PINKdogWOOD · ‎05-13-2010

@dex Aw, don't feel badly, you did a GREAT thing as it was! You chatted with her, you wished you a HAPPY Birthday. And your hug was just what she needed and thought on her way home, WOW, what a nice person!

icezeus · ‎10-30-2010

I think that your heart was in the right place.

She was probably a very nice young lady.

It's just in this day and age, I would not feel comfortable inviting a stranger to my home no matter how nice they may seem.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@dex wrote:
yesterday while in line at the grocery store I pushed my groceries ahead so a young female could put her things down.She said that the items were to bake her own birthday cake.I asked her about family and friends and she said her family was overseas and she was here to go to school.I gave her a hug and said happy birthday but that was it.I got home and thought why didn't I invite her to my house and bake the cake with her or buy a nice cake or something ...geesh it's not like I can't relate to how her mom must be feeling about not being there on a special day and I have felt the pain when my son was alone on a birthday.

That's very thoughtful of you to think about doing that. Maybe next year you'll run into each other again and can do it then. Or even closer ot the holidays, who knows. I know how that feels though, with the years we were away from family at special times because he was in the military. Next time, now you know how you might feel. She might feel awkward and pass, but it's a great thought nonetheless!!! Good for you.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks everyone for you nice responses.I guess it is risky to invite someone home but I think this person was lonely and needed companionship or else why did she tell me her story.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

You were a total stranger she met in a grocery store, I'm more that certain she would not have wanted to come to your house or to spend her birthday with strangers. How depressing that would have been....lol And why did you assume she would be alone on her birthday? In all likelihood, she was baking the cake to enjoy it with a few friends or a roommate. No young woman or young man, for that matter, should ever accept an invitation like the one you thought of making. If you really felt like you wanted to do something nice for her, you could have bought her a small birthday cake or big cookie or asked her out for coffee or tea.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
You were a total stranger she met in a grocery store, I'm more that certain she would not have wanted to come to your house or to spend her birthday with strangers. How depressing that would have been....lol And why did you assume she would be alone on her birthday? In all likelihood, she was baking the cake to enjoy it with a few friends or a roommate. No young woman or young man, for that matter, should ever accept an invitation like the one you thought of making. If you really felt like you wanted to do something nice for her, you could have bought her a small birthday cake or big cookie or asked her out for coffee or tea.

she told me that she had not made any friends here yet and that she had no family here but you are right that she might have felt awkward or uncomfortable with coming to my home..she said she was baking the cake at her moms request because her mother was sad that she couldn't be there to do it for her.I wish that I had done done any of the things you suggested and that is the reason I feel bad.

Karnerblue · ‎03-18-2015

@dex, I think just you talking with her and hugging her and wishing her a HB made a huge difference. Sometimes we just don't think about those things until after the fact. But who knows, maybe you'll run into her again and have a chance to invite her for coffee. I think we need more people in the world like you.

I don't think you failed at all.

"Never water yourself down just because someone can't handle you 100% proof."