Mom to Mom

[151949]

My SIL watched her 2 grandkids every day until they went to school - now they are both in school she goes to her daughter's in the morning and gets them up for school - dressed and fed then on the bus - she has about 6 hours during which she cleans up her daughter's house for her then she gets the kids from the bus and watches them until their Dad comes home from work. She does homework with them and all. She usually just goes ahead and makes dinner for herself and her husband and her grandkids and son in law. Her daughter is in sales and travels so she is usually not there. Often, when it is going to snow or whatever, my SIL just keeps the kids at her house overnight and takes them to the bus from her house. I don't feel it is a good situation for anyone involved - except my niece who just walks away and leaves all her responsibilities to her parents. However, my SIL says she loves caring for them and my niece does pays her Mom for caring for the kids and for the housekeeping. My SIL also watches them all summer every weekday.

My niece says it really hurts her when one of the kids is upset or hurt and they run to their grandmother or their dad for comfort. I don't know why she would expect any different.

[Zoologist_1]

When I was a working mom (1971-2005), only one person I knew of had her mom babysitting free of charge for her. She was my co-worker; she married early 30s, had a baby, came back from a 3-month-leave and was 2 months pregnant; came back from that 3-mo-leave and was 2 mo pregnant, and that last pregnancy turned out to be twins. The MD didn't even know til the 2nd baby was coming out that it was a twin pregnancy. Her folks had given her and her dh an acre adjoining their home and the wedding gift was having a home built for the couple, paid in full. That grandma raised that woman's kids.

My mom lives too far away to babysit, and my MIL (grandma to my last 2 babies) lived 1/2 mile away but refused to sit even for me to get a haircut or dental appt., let alone while I worked.

Now, it seems MY generation (I'm 60) of grandparents ALL babysit for free ALL of their grandkids, and then attend every single sporting event once those start. I'm talking FT job nearly running between games, fields, etc.

My middle son's getting married a year from now, and hopefully they'll live close enough for me to babysit if needed. However, they've pretty much decided the one that gets the higher paying job will work and the other spouse will be a sit-at-home parent, as they both will be college grads.

[busygirl]

My husband and I have babysat our grand daughter ever since she was born and she is 4 now. I work first shift and her parents work second. My husband is retired so he babysits from 2:30 until I get home at 4 and then we do it together until 8:00. We use to babysit when they worked third shift and this is much easier now than before.

it is not easy watching a little one 5 days a week and cuts into your free time but it has also been a great joy too.

I am just glad the weekends are ours.

[ROMARY]

'Seems to me' that, if physically and financially able, grandparents can enjoy a 'new' life/childhood all over again! As long as they aren't running themselves ragged, driving here and there. The Grandmoms around here are always strolling and/or walking around, with their grandchildren, and to and from the neighborhood school. Not so much (if at all) driving here and there. It's always nice to have a nearby neighborhood elementary school, as life for the children and the parents/grandparents becomes so much more calm and easy, rather than driving and dropping off to far-away schools. Too much hurried stress, IMO.

[ROMARY]

p.s. And Grand-moms/dads can learn 'all over again', helping the youngsters with homework and projects. A return of the 'old-fashioned' peaceful (more or less) childhood. Not so much rushing around. Happy Mother's Day (which also means Happy Grandmother's Day, too!)