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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,893
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

@Carmie The next time you get asked why your son is not married you can answer, I will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering. 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,305
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

@Carmie wrote:

I have a 39 year old son who is still single.  He owns his own huge house that is beautifully furnished and two cars...one is a vintage car. He is doing okay for himself.

 

He doesn't want to get married and he is not in a serious relationship.  He has admitted women his age have a ton of baggage and drama and he is not interested in any of that.

 

His two siblings are married with children.

 

I think as long as your kids are happy, that is a good thing.  They could be married and miserable.

 

When people ask me why my son isn't married or in a relationship,  I just say because he is the smart one. Actually it is none of their business and it is rude to ask.

 

 


 

 

Absolutely!

It's rude and no ones business.

I don't understand all this rush to get married.

I didn't get married until almost 30

I'm not married now and don't plan on it.   I'm 65.

I'm not even in a relationship, I have many really good friends & plenty of activities to keep me occupied, plus kids & grandkids.   

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,295
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

@AbbyKSmart kids....they are healthy and happy.  It is not your "friends" business regarding their marital status.  Relax and be grateful for their successes in life...love them and accept them for who they are, and I'm sure you do.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@AbbyK, people seem to be waiting until later and later to get married.  It is a personal decision.  The only disadvantage I am aware of is if the couple want children.  Once a woman is 30+, the probability of pregnancy drops dramatically.  Not me saying that, it is a medical fact.  Infertility is a big issues for those who try to conceive later in life.

 

I have a friend who was in a long term committed relationship.  Her expectation was marriage but his was not.  In her 40’s they split.  She had a baby on her own through IVF.  Never married and is now approaching 50.  I don’t think she will marry.

 

Lots of 30 somethings where I live who are not married.  It seems, and I have no fact base to say this, that men are not interested in settling down as young as they used to,  LM

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,623
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I get the same questions about my youngest.  He is 33 and single.  He has a Masters in Social Work, has been recognized for his research, and is a therapist who works with addicts.  He has some wonderful friends, a great job, owns a home, and is a very good human being.  I usually ignore questions about my youngest's relationships by changing the subject.  

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 71
Registered: ‎05-07-2010

Thank you all so much for your great replies and advice.  As mothers, we just want our kids to be happy, and they do seem to be.  Hey, you can be married, and feel lonely, too.  What will be will be....I just keep telling myself that.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

My daughter, 30, said marriage makes her generation nervous. They don't want to fail or divorce or keep repeating marriage. Just sharing her words. 

 

Regarding being concerned for our children -- I love this phrase -- "We're only as happy as our saddest child." I asked men if they can relate to this quote and they said... no, not really. Asked women and 100% said they understood completely.  

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,421
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Think it was what you were used to when you were their age.  I believe waiting much longer is MUCH wiser.  Sounds like they have made great lives for themselves, with you guidance, of course.  If in the cards and they want to they will marry and there are those that never do and that's their choice.  Just be happy they are doing so well.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,835
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I think today with women having their own careers and their own money, they are not needing a Man to support the them like in the old days.  There is no rush to marry...kids come later IF AT ALL.  What is important today is different.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

My son is 34 and not married and has not been in a serious relationship for over a year. I thought this last woman was the one, but evidently not. I asked him why he and this smart, beautiful woman called it quits and he said,"we want different things". I guess that says it all, but I don't want my son to be old and alone. I think it must be worrisome if you have a daughter who is unmarried in her 30's.