Advice for First Time Empty Nester

patticakes · ‎03-10-2010

Daughter, 22, is leaving home for first time to move out of state for great job. We are truly so happy for her. She graduated college in three years at the top of her class and got a terrific job offer at high starting salary in her field at the hospital she wanted to work at. So, all that is good and she's making more than enough money to pay her bills (onlly car payment) and purchase a small townhome, as well. We are so proud and know that she's worked hard for this opportunity and we don't want to be Debbie Downers; however in the meantime we are also feeling sad and have a sense of loss but we don't want to put a damper on her in any way. Any advice from those of you that have already gone through this? There are so many mixed emotions it's hard sometimes to sort out--happy, sad, worried, enthusiastic and excited. How can that be all at once?

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

You need things to look forward to - hobbies, travel, outings, social engagements, etc. Always have a few things at a time, big or small.

SamBrown · ‎03-10-2010

You have so much to be happy and grateful for. Don't be sad, Plan a trip.....a celebration.

DrakesMomma · ‎06-02-2010

My son graduated college three years ago and is looking to move out on his own this summer. I am so excited for him! He has worked hard in his field and has saved money to be able to move out on his own. He actually listened to me last year when he was talking about moving out. I told him there was no rush and he should make sure he can afford furniture, appliances, renters insurance, car maintenance, etc. I just really wanted him to be ready all around...it is part of my job as his momma...to get him ready for what comes next.

Skyegirl21 · ‎03-20-2010

Wow! She sounds like an amazing young g lady! You are very lucky! All those conflicting feelings are normal! Life is often bittersweet... Roots and Wings, that's the job as a parent-

As others have said, you need to find some new work or interests for yourself, or at least stay distracted! Now is your time to reclaim your life! Best wishes

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

@patticakes Congratulations to your daughter. So glad she has such a great start in life......probably due to great parents.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@cindyNC. Celebrate and rejoice that you've been a successful parent, having raised a happy, well-adjusted, independent, successful child. Congratulations on the outcome of years of effort and sacrifice on your part.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

AnnieBelle · ‎05-12-2017

As parents, our most important job is to raise our children to be strong, self-assured, independent, productive adults. Based on your daughter's successes, it sounds as if you and your husband did an outstanding job of parenting her. Be proud of how well you raised her, and let that comfort you as she moves away. Your relationship is not ending, just changing. Continue to support her and applaud her, plan to visit and get together, have her introduce you to her new environment.

As others have mentioned, find new hobbies and diversions, or reignite interest in some you may have set aside to raise her. There will be plenty of tears, but it's a new chapter for all of you to explore.

nekodaisy · ‎03-10-2010

It has been off and on moving out and moving back in with our 2 kids. My daughter finally and I say finally moved out on her own last year. After finally figuring out what she wanted to do with her life she moved back in and her husband became a truck driver. He lost his job due to covid. She came home and worked and went to physical therapy school. She moved out last May and my husband was finally able to retire at 65.

We love it. We just got back from a beach vacation to Panama City, Florida and already made reservations for Daytona in the fall. She now makes enough money to pay her way in life plus she only lives a few blocks from us. Her husband is on the road a lot and she has a really bad case of bipolar so we like her being near us but not on top of us.

Enjoy it and if you can do some traveling. No kids to entertain so it is alot more enjoyable.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

As much as I missed each child when they moved to a university, I adjusted to the final empty nest in minutes.

It was the first time in my life that I wasn't taking care of someone. I was the oldest of 7 kids so I babysat and took care of siblings and continued even after I moved out.

I took care of Mom and Dad for years.

It was nice to have a minute to think about where I wanted my life to go while working 60 hrs a week and after retirement.

I'm busier now than when I worked. The difference is that it's now my choice. I have a great social life, joined a senior center and take classes, volunteer, etc etc.