Kitchen

[ChynnaBlue]

Speaking as the adult child, I moved halfway across the country and that improved our relationship dramatically.

[shamalamadingdong4]

Both my children are successful professionals. My secret to having a successful relationship is to smile sweetly and keep my mouth shut.

[LTT1]

I call it my "keep opinions to myself" I have to remember that DD still gets PMS and I have been (thankfully) relieved of this malady!

However, occasionally something comes out wrong and I try to be quick to re-state so there are no hurt feelings.

[Mary Bailey]

Treat them like an adult, unless they ask for something else. MYOB with friends and family, unless asked.

[LTT1]

There was a short article in a magazine that I read when DD was a teen. It had to do with ""meta-messages."" She and I talked about this... we discussed how ""meta-messages"" exist even when we do not intend to infuse them into conversational exchanges. Communication between mother/daughter is wide open to misinterpretation. I feel confident in her ability to manage her life. She has taught me to have faith in her and not to interfere. We are good with saying ""I think I said that wrong"" or ""I was not inferring that..."" I can tell by a look or a pause when what I have said has sent the wrong message.

[MaggieOla]

Collie girls...my mom also can't/won't apologize for anything. She makes excuses for everything she does in poor taste and has even admitted to me that she never apologizes because she is never wrong. That's a good point, too....just say you are sorry when you are wrong. Admit you are not perfect....it's ok....none of us are.

[luvingit]

I just keep my mouth shut. I already raised them. I only offer advice when they ask. Other than that I just support them no matter what I really think.

[luvdoodles]

I think that relationship begins when they are very young. Be involved but not a helicopter parent. When they want to talk just listen. Don't judge. Let them know what you expect from they but not by lecturing. Give them some freedom to learn from their own mistakes even though you saw them coming. We have two amazing adult daughters, I feel we did something right. They still like spending time with us.

[Daysdee]

On 7/7/2014 luvingit said: I just keep my mouth shut. I already raised them. I only offer advice when they ask. Other than that I just support them no matter what I really think.

Pretty much the same here. I also don't make comparisons between children; never give advice unless asked and try to be the best Mom I can be and the best MIL.

[colliegirls]

On 7/7/2014 MaggieOla said: Collie girls...my mom also can't/won't apologize for anything. She makes excuses for everything she does in poor taste and has even admitted to me that she never apologizes because she is never wrong. That's a good point, too....just say you are sorry when you are wrong. Admit you are not perfect....it's ok....none of us are.

My mother always said she did everything for our own good, no matter how mean it was. I often think that if she had ever said " I am sorry" when she had been nasty , it would have made a huge difference in our relationship. I gave up on her decades ago, I am civil to her but that is all, she adds no joy to my life.