Re: Trying to Purge and not succeeding

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

@CelticCrafter wrote:
Reading this made me realize that I have something that was given to my father when he retired and except for one of his brothers, no one else would really "want" them and it would be out of guilt that they kept them.

They are two large elevation drawings (reproductions) of the two lighthouses where my grandfather served as lighthouse keeper.

I've just sent off an email to the curator of a lighthouse museum to see if they would want them as a donation for their collection.

These were truly lonely jobs in their day. Depending on the era and if this was an east coast lighthouse many keepers also served as the original coast guard and customs officers.

Also try the US Lighthouse Society at uslhs dot org.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

I don't want to take this off topic but

@Snowpuppy - it was hard for my grandmother - she raised 8 kids, pretty much on her own because they did not live at the lighthouse with him. He came home every few weeks on shore leave and it was back again after about 10 days.

I remember as a kid, crying my eyes out when it was time for him to go back.

There is only 1 museum I would donate these to because it was built on the sight were my father worked, so aside from the fact that it is now a national musuem it does have another family connection and I could bring it all together with photos, articles and the drawings. I think my father would be pleased if it works out the way I'm hoping it will.

Tigriss · ‎03-12-2010

Donate them to the local historical society.

trenet · ‎03-26-2017

@gidgetgh

The problem I’ve had with KonMari is that far too many things give me joy!

ZoetheCat · ‎11-30-2014

I have a slightly different take on this issue. First, let me say that I sympathize. It’s difficult to dispose of your loved one’s cherished possessions. But I am a big believer in the idea that life is for the living.

Personally, I love to surround myself with memorabilia . For instance, I live in a beach community with a concert venue which, years ago, hosted the likes of Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, etc. This was well before my time, but I love that history so I’ve collected memorabilia from this period. I have a framed menu from that venue on my living room wall. My grandfather owned an ice cream stand on the beach at that time, and I was delighted to find a print depicting his business, which included our family name, so I had that framed and display it in our home office.

I also do cross stitch, and over the last several years, I have concentrated on stitching scenes of the places that I’ve visited over the years. Each piece is fairly elaborate and each one usually takes me over a year to complete. It gives me a lot of pleasure to look around my home and see all these places. It takes me right back to that vacation.

The bottom line is that I have no children and so I know that when I’m gone no one will want any of these pieces. Oddly enough, that doesn’t really bother me. I do this for me. I get satisfaction from it. I can’t really worry about what will happen to these items when I’m gone.

My advice is to pick out those items from your loved ones that you really love. The ones that speak to you. Let go of the rest. Display those precious items and enjoy them. In my opinion, that is what your parents would want.

sissel · ‎08-13-2010

Yes, it's your memories not anyone else, seems they don't care. You can scan them into your computer for your enjoyment. They don't care. It will take time to sort it out. I need to go threw my 3 full bags too, thanks for reminding me. My brother & I up in the attic (years ago) found framed pictures of my Grandma's family scared me to death. Black & white & no one smiled sad looking group. My Grandma was a midwife and found her license framed didn't know she had to take classes for that. All gone. What we cherish no one else does.

mousiegirl · ‎03-09-2010

@drizzellla wrote:
I started today to try and reclaim my dining room. When my parents died, they each had a nursing home room, Mom also had an assisited living apartment (she moved back and forth between the apartment and the nursing home room) and a house.

I did get rid of lots of stuff. But I also have many tubs of stuff that I coudn't get rid of. And most of the tubs found there way into the far corner of my dining room. I started going through some of the stuff. Today it was mostly photos. I have many photos from the early 1900's on. I even have a large leather photo album. I have asked my brothers numerous times if they want anything. And they don't. I gave my cousin photos of her Mom. And she doesn't want anymore. So what do I do with all these photos? Sadly, I don't have address email or otherwise for many of the other relatives. I have the email address for one cousin but she died and I have no idea where her kids are.

I can't bring myself to throw them out. But I know my son doesn't want them. And I know my brothers kids have no interest. What do you do with all these photos?

Also, there is a box of the metals my Dad earned. He was a pilot in WWII. He flew one mission and only 1/3 of the planes made it back. His plane was shot up and several of the crew were injured but he got the plane back. He got one of his Distinguished Flying Crosses for that. Plus a bunch of other metals. I don't want to throw them out but no one wants them. What do you do with them?

I really don't know what to do with all this stuff.

@drizzellla I have the same issue to deal with, at some point. In the guest room closet is the trunk my Mother had while in the Marine Corps, with tons of photos from her youth, even her khakis from the service, those will be tossed, but I will probably keep the photo album she put together at least until DD sees it, never knew her, then I may just burn the photos, have already burned tons of pictures I took decades ago that I know will mean nothing to DD, and just kept a few of my passed pets, which she can toss or I will later on, as I still like to look at them.

I had a display cabinet full of the dishes that my Mother's Mother used on a daily basis, in addition to others, finally donated them and tossed the cracked dishes, and have just one shelf with my Mother's tea cups and saucers, I grew up with these, and a few ceramics that she painted. I then took from the linen closet many sets of my dishes and put them in there. DD will be able to use mine as she has grown up with most of them, and they still look new.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

I worked with someone dealing with a situation similar to yours. She's an only child and her kids don't want all the WWll stuff of her dad's, and all the dinnerware of her mom's, but she doesn't want to part with it. In her case, the garage is full of storage boxes and she can just squeeze her car in.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@mousiegirl,

If you are interested in donating those military khaki’s, you might consider a veterans museum or even funeral home.

Years ago, my husband donated his dress blues to the funeral home for a veteran who wanted to be buried in one, but didn’t have his own uniform.

lilypadfrog · ‎03-25-2010

I had the same problem with photos. I scanned all photos, put them on a flashdrive then sent them to relatives. Its small and easily accessible for all of us. The photos which could not be identified were uploaded to Ancestry.com into an archive for other people to use if they could identify. Any information such as date or place was uploaded with each picture.

I like the ideas about the medals, flag and uniforms. When my Dad died suddenly years ago, we could not find his Masonic apron to bury him in. And, now that its been found years later, I dont know what to do with it. I am an only child. I contacted his old lodge to see if they could respectfully dispose of it. They told me to just throw it away. Remembering how my Dad enjoyed the Lodge, I just cant do that. I suppose it will happen, though, when I am gone.